Buccaneer55 Posted April 28, 2012 Posted April 28, 2012 First I want to thank this community because it helped me out a lot two years ago when I was going through the end of a 5 year relationship. Now let's fast forward to the present and my 19 month relationship has just come to screeching halt. Everything I did wrong in my previous relationship, I made sure I did differently this time around. My girlfriend who is 24 just ended things because she feels like she has a lot of things she needs to work/figure out on her own. She completely put the blame on herself for why the relationship was ending. She said She's selfish She sees how much I'm willing to do for her, but she's too selfish to do the same for me She loves me but doesn't think she can love me back the same way right now She's got a lot of things that frustrate her not just with me but with everything in life, and she doesn't know why so many things bother her. She is graduating from college next week and she thinks she's going to stay here, but part of her wants to go back home (3.5 hours away) It breaks her heart to see how much I love her, when she struggles to give me the same things back. and of course she needs to figure everything out on her own, but she'd like for me to wait while she did.... I care alot about her. She's the first girl I've ever considered marrying. I've invested a lot of time physically and emotionally connecting with her for the last 19 months, and as nice as it is to know she's not blaming me, it doesn't make the pain go away because I'm still losing her right now. Oh and she doesn't want me to completely disappear from her life.... I Know I need to back off, but I could really use some advice.
gibson Posted April 28, 2012 Posted April 28, 2012 You will find the answers to your questions in the following threads: "The Grass Is Greener" Syndrome and... Dumped by someone with G.I.G.S.? All your Questions are Answered within this thread!
Nohbody Posted April 28, 2012 Posted April 28, 2012 Throw off the bowlines Sail away from the safe harbor Catch the trade winds in your sails Explore. Dream. Discover -Mark Twain
M2155 Posted April 28, 2012 Posted April 28, 2012 I need some time to figure myself out right now and I don't love you the same. But I want you to stick around in case I falter or change my mind cause you're such a good guy. Sounds like she's dumping you in a nice way but wants an out (or in) if she regrets it. Ummm...no. You should tell her you agree that you acknowledge she is going through a big change in her life and you don't want to move forward until you are both in the same page (because you don't). You aren't going to hold her back, but you aren't going to be there to hold her hand either. Yes i too would back off and let her have the consequences of her choice.
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