crackerjax9 Posted April 28, 2012 Posted April 28, 2012 I've been talking to my ex's good friend for over a year now. I know, a little messed up, but my ex was the biggest d*uchebag, so I don't even think of it that way. Anyway, this kid lives in Oklahoma. Recently in the last couple of months things have heated up between us. We skyped everyday, started sexting. We have a ton in common and theres an attraction there. I guess the defining moment was when he got a job offer in California ( I live in Mass). I was a little upset by it because he was going to take the job. I didnt answer his texts for four hours, and then he told me he turned down the job and was moving to Mass. So he's here this weekend going on job interviews and such. We hungout Wednesday night, had a few drinks and wound up having sex. We hungout again Thursday and same thing. Last night he came over and we watched a movie. He wouldn't stop kissing me, literally every 3 seconds. He said he couldnt stop kissing me. It kind of grossed me out. I think he noticed it too because I wouldnt kiss him back cuz it was getting very annoying. I am not over exaggerating, every 5 seconds. I wanted to vomit. I feel like I'm being the biggest bitch or over thinking it. Am I just not attracted to him? Or should i tell him to stop smothering me with his kisses? And if im not attracted to him I hate myself because not only am i messing up his friendship with my ex but hes moving back to Mass! Advice?
january2011 Posted April 29, 2012 Posted April 29, 2012 He wouldn't stop kissing me, literally every 3 seconds. He said he couldnt stop kissing me. It kind of grossed me out. I think he noticed it too because I wouldnt kiss him back cuz it was getting very annoying. I am not over exaggerating, every 5 seconds. I wanted to vomit. That's not good. You finally got a chance to consummate your relationship. That's usually a heady experience after such a long time communicating LD. His behaviour might calm down after the novelty of being able to interact in-person wears off. Or this is his style and he's a very affectionate guy. It might be worth mentioning to him that you feel a little overwhelmed by all the attention. He will probably be a little hurt but if he cared about you (as it seems he does), then he'd want you to be comfortable. However, while you were attracted to him enough to have sex with him, if you feel grossed out, annoyed and want to vomit every single time he kisses you, then there isn't a long-term future in this relationship. You'll have to put on your big girl pants and tell him that you don't think you're a long-term fit. He can then make a decision about whether or not his future still lies in Mass, even if it's without you.
Ninjainpajamas Posted April 29, 2012 Posted April 29, 2012 Well fell in fantasy with the idea rather than the reality. Unfortunately you developed enough of an emotional relationship to affect his job options, which sucks, you should have let him make the best decision for himself. Now you've turned it into a situation where he feels he chose you over other things and now he feels like you're someone he really wants to be with and now you're coming to find you're not really all that into him. The more you really experience and share time with this guy I think the more you're going to realize that you made a mistake, If you can't be lovey dovey with him now...imagine several months or a year down the road, this just doesn't seem like someone you're going to be happy with. I would immediately tell him the truth about how you feel before he sacrifices everything to be with you thinking this will turn into a relationship, you need to be upfront and honest even If you made a mistake, you're not a bitch you just misjudged this situation too quickly and probably used him more as a rebound than anything...just a naive although typical move.
Author crackerjax9 Posted April 30, 2012 Author Posted April 30, 2012 I did not stand in his way of his job decision. I told him time and time again to not move back home for me in case things didnt work out. Certainly wasn't a rebound either, I've been broken up with my ex for a good amount of time now & have seen other people since him.
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