singlelife Posted April 28, 2012 Posted April 28, 2012 There is nothing wrong with having fun and seeing who you match up best with. I'm not saying be a stone cold player, just don't wait on one girl for everything even if you like her. 1
persevere Posted April 28, 2012 Posted April 28, 2012 Good point. Never focus on one, early on. At least until you've been out many times. You'll just get hurt if you get your hopes and expectations up too soon. It also adds an element of unavailability that can drive women nuts.
Author singlelife Posted April 28, 2012 Author Posted April 28, 2012 Good point. Never focus on one, early on. At least until you've been out many times. You'll just get hurt if you get your hopes and expectations up too soon. It also adds an element of unavailability that can drive women nuts. You're right it does attract women as they get possesive . But I was more just looking out for the guys who put EVERYTHING into one chick and maybe she isn't the one and she moves on and you should have now instead of having plan b,c,d,e he has to start all over and he';s jaded.
mesmerized Posted April 28, 2012 Posted April 28, 2012 Same for women dating men. Never put all your eggs in one basket or you're in for disappointment.
Bob_Funk Posted April 28, 2012 Posted April 28, 2012 Most guys don't have the option of dating around. And even if by divine intervention they find a girl who's somewhat interested, it's like walking a tightrope to the bedroom.
persevere Posted April 28, 2012 Posted April 28, 2012 Most guys don't have the option of dating around. And even if by divine intervention they find a girl who's somewhat interested, it's like walking a tightrope to the bedroom. Bob Funk. I've been reading your posts, man. If you channel that dry sarcastic wit into dating, it just might work. Fuggin hilarious. You're right it does attract women as they get possesive . But I was more just looking out for the guys who put EVERYTHING into one chick and maybe she isn't the one and she moves on and you should have now instead of having plan b,c,d,e he has to start all over and he';s jaded. Yeah. If you hover around a woman like a starving dog waiting for a steak, she'll pull the power struggle on you, big time. Totally messing with you. You have to be the man, and prove you're the real catch. Not her. Next time I have an OLD, or otherwise, "reschedule" and ask for something later in the week. I am not gonna offer up alternatives. "Let me get back with you. Pretty busy every night the rest of this week" Then, wait a few days for a "possibly Sunday for lunch??". Not..."oooh, *pant pant*, how about Tuesday, Wednesday or Saturday". She'll know you are solo into her world and it's not impressive. She'll know you are not as wanted by others, or have no life. And literally, DO have other things on the line. Pretty soon, you won't even remember thinking about the flakes.
Author singlelife Posted April 28, 2012 Author Posted April 28, 2012 Bob Funk. I've been reading your posts, man. If you channel that dry sarcastic wit into dating, it just might work. Fuggin hilarious. Yeah. If you hover around a woman like a starving dog waiting for a steak, she'll pull the power struggle on you, big time. Totally messing with you. You have to be the man, and prove you're the real catch. Not her. Next time I have an OLD, or otherwise, "reschedule" and ask for something later in the week. I am not gonna offer up alternatives. "Let me get back with you. Pretty busy every night the rest of this week" Then, wait a few days for a "possibly Sunday for lunch??". Not..."oooh, *pant pant*, how about Tuesday, Wednesday or Saturday". She'll know you are solo into her world and it's not impressive. She'll know you are not as wanted by others, or have no life. And literally, DO have other things on the line. Pretty soon, you won't even remember thinking about the flakes. Yup. leaving it up to another person will ruin your day. So everyone have fun.
wwwjd Posted April 28, 2012 Posted April 28, 2012 and the anti-thesis here... I don't think I've ever "dated" around. just had a few successful long term relationships. Instead of "hey, I'm _____, let's go out..." I have always gotten to know them first, THEN started the dated process later. Works great for me, but maybe not everyone. So, how does one get to know them first WITHOUT DATING? Proximity, being friendly, asking questions... you know... getting to know someone like a new friend at the office or church or whereever. Having the whole "oh oh! There is romantic intention" from the get go seems like a lot of directionless pressure to me. Anyone can have sex, but doesn't one want to really get close to the other person before kissing and touching starts? just my input 1
persevere Posted April 28, 2012 Posted April 28, 2012 and the anti-thesis here... I don't think I've ever "dated" around. just had a few successful long term relationships. Instead of "hey, I'm _____, let's go out..." I have always gotten to know them first, THEN started the dated process later. Works great for me, but maybe not everyone. So, how does one get to know them first WITHOUT DATING? Proximity, being friendly, asking questions... you know... getting to know someone like a new friend at the office or church or whereever. Having the whole "oh oh! There is romantic intention" from the get go seems like a lot of directionless pressure to me. Anyone can have sex, but doesn't one want to really get close to the other person before kissing and touching starts? just my input Good point. I've been on dates in the past, where we really got along. Only to make out with them at the end of the first date and then not see them again. Gotta back off, show them you are in it for them, not go for the kill early on. I mean, yeah, anyone can have sex but what do you really have if you focus on that and destroy any potential of being with a quality woman, long term?
Andy_K Posted April 28, 2012 Posted April 28, 2012 If you focus your energies on being a better man instead of dating as many girls as you can, the chances of one giving you the elbow get much lower and this won't be such a problem. 3
persevere Posted April 28, 2012 Posted April 28, 2012 I think one of the biggest problems is eagerness. Going out with a good woman, especially one who is good looking, can create a lot of pitfalls. It is essential to stay cool. Not get caught up in haste to "prove" you are worth her time. Don't rush. Just play cool. Go with the flow. Even let her make the first move, for a kiss, hookup, etc.
Author singlelife Posted April 29, 2012 Author Posted April 29, 2012 I had a date yesterday morning, a date last night, a date on the way from out of town, and my date from yesterday morning ( she dates around also ) texted to see how I doing. You just have to have a life and see what happens. This beats sitting around waiting for some women to just call me. Oh yeah I also have a sleepover date for Tues already setup. So I say enjoy life and don't get too caught up.
Oxy Moronovich Posted April 29, 2012 Posted April 29, 2012 There is nothing wrong with having fun and seeing who you match up best with. I'm not saying be a stone cold player, just don't wait on one girl for everything even if you like her. I've been saying this since I first joined this forum. But since most guys here don't wanna read it but instead whine, I don't waste my breath anymore. If you focus your energies on being a better man instead of dating as many girls as you can, the chances of one giving you the elbow get much lower and this won't be such a problem. This is actually off. Dating as many girls as you can gives you more experience with women. That's a bigger benefit than being a "better man".
Author singlelife Posted April 29, 2012 Author Posted April 29, 2012 Especially in America. Great advice OP. thanks. the objective is to settle down oneday.
Bob_Funk Posted April 29, 2012 Posted April 29, 2012 Bob Funk. I've been reading your posts, man. If you channel that dry sarcastic wit into dating, it just might work. Fuggin hilarious. Nah. Girls don't even want to know me.
somedude81 Posted April 29, 2012 Posted April 29, 2012 Most guys don't have the option of dating around. And even if by divine intervention they find a girl who's somewhat interested, it's like walking a tightrope to the bedroom. Exactly. The idea of dating around sounds amazing. Would the ladies be arriving on the backs of unicorns, farting rainbows. The ladies, not the unicorns.
wwwjd Posted April 29, 2012 Posted April 29, 2012 Oh yeah I also have a sleepover date for Tues already setup. Thank you for destroying the attitude of my possible future wife. In return, I guess I'll do the same to yours. Enjoy the jadedness. 1
Author singlelife Posted April 29, 2012 Author Posted April 29, 2012 Exactly. The idea of dating around sounds amazing. Would the ladies be arriving on the backs of unicorns, farting rainbows. The ladies, not the unicorns. possibly. we have to think positive.
Author singlelife Posted April 29, 2012 Author Posted April 29, 2012 Thank you for destroying the attitude of my possible future wife. In return, I guess I'll do the same to yours. Enjoy the jadedness. lol. ok. hopefully you will feel better if you get some more dates under your belt.
truth_seeker Posted April 30, 2012 Posted April 30, 2012 I wish I could be with one person and everything would be perfect, but that's not how it is IRL. You have to date multiple people and keep your options open at all times until the one person you like most is also into you as much as you're into them.
persevere Posted April 30, 2012 Posted April 30, 2012 I wish I could be with one person and everything would be perfect, but that's not how it is IRL. You have to date multiple people and keep your options open at all times until the one person you like most is also into you as much as you're into them. Good point. The real test is how resiliant you are. You really like someone and it doesn't work out? You just have to go right back at it, and hopefully, learn from any mistakes you have made. The more you can do this, the better you will get at it.
truth_seeker Posted April 30, 2012 Posted April 30, 2012 Yes. But I also think today's dating is much different than 20 years ago. There are just way too many options for people. With so many options, comes temptation. It almost make you want to play the field your whole life to avoid getting burned.
persevere Posted April 30, 2012 Posted April 30, 2012 I agree. In a fast paced world, I suppose many are more prone to do this. Just date around, never really settling. Too many divorces. Too much effort. More and more don't want the hassle. Not that dating isn't a hassle, or frustrating as well...
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