persevere Posted April 28, 2012 Posted April 28, 2012 People can find out so much about you with it. I had a woman ask me my last name, only to tell me on the second date, she did a background check. How long do you folks wait?
january2011 Posted April 28, 2012 Posted April 28, 2012 From what I remember, there was no specified time period. It just happened whenever we felt comfortable enough with each other to swap last names.
westrock Posted April 28, 2012 Posted April 28, 2012 When you exchange contact information one's last name should be part of that exchange. 2
Radu Posted April 28, 2012 Posted April 28, 2012 People can find out so much about you with it. I had a woman ask me my last name, only to tell me on the second date, she did a background check. How long do you folks wait? Whenever you want; but if one tells you this again ... forget her number. She is carrying baggage or she doesn't believe you are trustworthy from the start ... both of those options will leave you bad in a relationship with her.
starla33 Posted April 28, 2012 Posted April 28, 2012 Whenever you want; but if one tells you this again ... forget her number. She is carrying baggage or she doesn't believe you are trustworthy from the start ... both of those options will leave you bad in a relationship with her. To be honest if you met online I don't see the problem here. There are SO many weirdos that it helps to be careful. 1
veggirl Posted April 28, 2012 Posted April 28, 2012 She told you she did a background check on you? That's awkward! My BF asked me my last name on our first date and I told him.
dasein Posted April 28, 2012 Posted April 28, 2012 IMO if someone isn't comfortable giving a last name on or before the first date, they shouldn't be doing OLD at all and should stick to traditional meeting styles. And the "background check" stuff women (mostly women, am sure some a-hole guys do it) do has gotten completely out of hand IMO. It is a dating peeve of mine, and have learned that women who do a background check very early on are not compatible with me. I grew up in a time when kids didn't need to wear a helmet every time they went outside and there wasn't an irrational "stranger danger Lifetime movie rapist in the bushes" vibe everywhere. That world is a very pernicious, socially destructive lie IMO and IME. When exclusivity talk starts, maybe, single mother with children, maybe. Just because? Don't tell me about it or I'm gone. 1
FitChick Posted April 28, 2012 Posted April 28, 2012 A lot of the background information is just plain wrong. I don't know where they get it. Thank God I have a common name.
Author persevere Posted April 28, 2012 Author Posted April 28, 2012 I have an extremely uncommon last name. I just feel some women may run checks on me to see my worth, status, etc. Nothing surprises me anymore....
veggirl Posted April 28, 2012 Posted April 28, 2012 The amount of pre-date checking some people do is absurd. If you are that terrified of people, you should probably just stay inside your house. 2
USMCHokie Posted April 28, 2012 Posted April 28, 2012 My BF asked me my last name on our first date and I told him. This. And there's ways to find out without directly asking. Pulling out your credit card? Done. And if you use email, your full name is usually shown in the Name line or in the email address itself. Mine is...
Author persevere Posted April 28, 2012 Author Posted April 28, 2012 The amount of pre-date checking some people do is absurd. If you are that terrified of people, you should probably just stay inside your house. Lol. No, not that terrified
Mrlonelyone Posted April 28, 2012 Posted April 28, 2012 I don't. My real first and last names are both uncommon and conversation starters. If someone is remotely interested that's an ice breaker right there.
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