irc333 Posted April 28, 2012 Posted April 28, 2012 I wish I could make a pie chart for this....but I'm noticing both on and offline....that if exclude the currently married people on dating sites or off dating sites. I think there is a VAST majority of the obscure people who should not be trying to date or find other people. Those people are who are currently in a LONG Term ON and OFF relationship with a man they've been with for 5+ years. It had been brought to my attention that a woman I had gone out with a couple of times had already had a boyfriend of 5 years....how I found out was...through her friend....she said she's been dating the same guy for the past 5 years...and I knew that 2 years ago, I went out with her....so she was probably on a "break" with him. It's a term that was used on the TV show "FRIENDS" a while back that stuck in my head....apparently Ross slept with another woman, but he justified it with his current G/F ."Well, we were on a BREAK" I would imagine DATING sites are SATURATED with 1. Get into an argument with boyfriend, get mad....open up an online dating profile...flirt with men...date a few....have make up sex with long term boyfriend....online dating profile goes stale. 2. She's on the outs with her boyfriend, or the long term relationship is getting stale.....starts "shopping it around with online dating sites, social vents, girl's night out, etc. 3. See #2....starts dating a guy, while currently in a relationship with another man....really starts to hit it off with the new beau, and finds a reason to break up with the current one. I think we're filled with a lot of people currently IN relationships (But not married), that are looking to BBD someone.....and it's getting explosive. You hardly see people COMPLETELY 100% unattached before meeting someone. Ever notice that lately? 3
persevere Posted April 28, 2012 Posted April 28, 2012 Interesting point. It sure would explain a lot of the flakiness. I've also thought that perahps people go to online dating to try and win back an ex. Or, they are seeing a "bad boy" more seriously who doesn't care what they do, as long as she comes to him after the dates are over.
TheSingleGuy Posted April 28, 2012 Posted April 28, 2012 No matter what girl you meet, there's ALWAYS another guy in the picture. ALWAYS.
Radu Posted April 28, 2012 Posted April 28, 2012 I wish I could make a pie chart for this....but I'm noticing both on and offline....that if exclude the currently married people on dating sites or off dating sites. I think there is a VAST majority of the obscure people who should not be trying to date or find other people. Those people are who are currently in a LONG Term ON and OFF relationship with a man they've been with for 5+ years. It had been brought to my attention that a woman I had gone out with a couple of times had already had a boyfriend of 5 years....how I found out was...through her friend....she said she's been dating the same guy for the past 5 years...and I knew that 2 years ago, I went out with her....so she was probably on a "break" with him. It's a term that was used on the TV show "FRIENDS" a while back that stuck in my head....apparently Ross slept with another woman, but he justified it with his current G/F ."Well, we were on a BREAK" I would imagine DATING sites are SATURATED with 1. Get into an argument with boyfriend, get mad....open up an online dating profile...flirt with men...date a few....have make up sex with long term boyfriend....online dating profile goes stale. 2. She's on the outs with her boyfriend, or the long term relationship is getting stale.....starts "shopping it around with online dating sites, social vents, girl's night out, etc. 3. See #2....starts dating a guy, while currently in a relationship with another man....really starts to hit it off with the new beau, and finds a reason to break up with the current one. I think we're filled with a lot of people currently IN relationships (But not married), that are looking to BBD someone.....and it's getting explosive. You hardly see people COMPLETELY 100% unattached before meeting someone. Ever notice that lately? You know what the problem is OP, right ? This woman (or man) you are describing has complete control about how she is perceived in digital media. Online Dating has opened a Pandora's box and gave everyone a little dose of narcissism. So why do you still play this obviously rigged game ? 2
Cypress25 Posted April 28, 2012 Posted April 28, 2012 Yes, of course. There are NO single women in the world. NONE. They simply don't exist, like unicorns. 1
fortyninethousand322 Posted April 28, 2012 Posted April 28, 2012 Yes, of course. There are NO single women in the world. NONE. They simply don't exist, like unicorns. I don't know if there are no single women, but there aren't any women that I can think of that don't at least have prospects all the time. Most women I know could (if they wanted to) go to the bullpen at any time.
persevere Posted April 28, 2012 Posted April 28, 2012 I think many of them may be seeing a guy who doesn't make them feel all that good. Won't, or can't, spend money on them. Treats them like dirt. He's working on the particular night she decides to get a free meal from you and talk to someone who would listen. They look to online dating to give them a feeling of satisfaction and worth. A build up from what that jerk won't give them. But, oh how they 'love' that other guy. I told a recent date I'd call her when I got home, at midnight. I called a mere 30 minutes after we left. She texted me at 4am, telling me she had fallen asleep. Guilt? Why else text someone at 4am? During our date, she had been texting someone else whenever I went to the restroom. There was someone else definitely in the picture on that one.
wwwjd Posted April 28, 2012 Posted April 28, 2012 I don't know if there are no single women, but there aren't any women that I can think of that don't at least have prospects all the time. Most women I know could (if they wanted to) go to the bullpen at any time. Absolute truth. "Backup guys" I keep saying it, but I have NEVER EVER EVER heard a woman EVER be able to admit this out loud to me or themselves. (but *I'M* narfed at for saying women can't admit things to themselves??) Proof, ladies. Other guys see and KNOW this too. Tell yourselves whatever you like to sleep at night... we KNOW better. 1
TheBigQuestion Posted April 28, 2012 Posted April 28, 2012 Maybe it's because I'm in my mid-20s, but I've never met a single woman in my age group (or younger) who doesn't at least have a few guys interested in her. I always chuckle to myself when women try to make this look like the exception rather than the rule.
Cypress25 Posted April 28, 2012 Posted April 28, 2012 Maybe it's because I'm in my mid-20s, but I've never met a single woman in my age group (or younger) who doesn't at least have a few guys interested in her. But if she's not interested in them, it's the same as having no guys interested in her. She's not going to date them, period. Interest has to be mutual, otherwise you got nothing.
Joaquin Posted April 28, 2012 Posted April 28, 2012 My experience has taught me to be very wary of girls who aren't at least a few years out of a long relationship. It may sound obvious but no matter what they say it really seems to take girls ages to get over guys they've been committed to for a longtime. Pity is these girls are getting out of these long relationships and panicking about having babies so rush into the next relationship without really giving themselves time to heal properly. It's hard on the new guy. Lately I'm thinking that maybe your safer with a girl who hasn't already given her heart away.
dasein Posted April 28, 2012 Posted April 28, 2012 If you are going to do OLD, get used to this, that there are tons of people who aren't really available. Will never forget 1) the woman who showed up for an OLD and her live in recent ex was circling the block the whole time waiting to take her home:lmao:. She didn't tell me this til the end of the date This didn't stop her from making out with me in the bar. Can you imagine? 2) the one who said she had recently broken up an engagement, and wanted to sit and makeout in the car after the first date, and made it pretty clear she was up for some NSA if I had a place to go. I got a strange vibe so didn't. I started getting angry VMs the next day in spanish from some dude. 3) the dozens of women I've dated over the years who turns out were using me to make another man jealous. Guys, keep things binary, keep yourself sane. Don't make any assumptions at all about a woman until you KNOW her. They put out tons of irrelevant, irrational noise. Ignore the noise, have the reins of the relationship. Keep many options open. If you are the "date one at a time" type, reconsider because it puts you at an extreme disadvantage. A vast majority of them conduct their social lives as "what I want to do, when I want to do" despite protestations to the contrary here and elsewhere. They are capable of rationalizing anything, black into white, as it suits them. Doing otherwise in this day where women aren't called on anything they do is a recipe for annoyance and confusion.
phineas Posted April 28, 2012 Posted April 28, 2012 If you are going to do OLD, get used to this, that there are tons of people who aren't really available. Will never forget 1) the woman who showed up for an OLD and her live in recent ex was circling the block the whole time waiting to take her home:lmao:. She didn't tell me this til the end of the date This didn't stop her from making out with me in the bar. Can you imagine? 2) the one who said she had recently broken up an engagement, and wanted to sit and makeout in the car after the first date, and made it pretty clear she was up for some NSA if I had a place to go. I got a strange vibe so didn't. I started getting angry VMs the next day in spanish from some dude. 3) the dozens of women I've dated over the years who turns out were using me to make another man jealous. Guys, keep things binary, keep yourself sane. Don't make any assumptions at all about a woman until you KNOW her. They put out tons of irrelevant, irrational noise. Ignore the noise, have the reins of the relationship. Keep many options open. If you are the "date one at a time" type, reconsider because it puts you at an extreme disadvantage. A vast majority of them conduct their social lives as "what I want to do, when I want to do" despite protestations to the contrary here and elsewhere. They are capable of rationalizing anything, black into white, as it suits them. Doing otherwise in this day where women aren't called on anything they do is a recipe for annoyance and confusion. I am the poster boy for #3. LOL!
RedRobin Posted April 28, 2012 Posted April 28, 2012 (edited) You can blame people (plenty of them here) who believe that being 100% single... avoiding multi-dating... only dating one person at a time must mean you are a freak, are completely undesirable, have no 'options', or are too picky. Basically, in this day and age, to be truly single is to have something wrong with you. Which... is.... BS... for anyone who has values and wants to find another person with values. I can't tell you how many sh*theads I kicked to the curb after a handful of dates when I discovered much of the above. I can't tell you how many guys were trying to make me their FWB without my f-ing permission. I realize it works both ways... but folks... if you are participating in any way in the above. Then you are part of the problem and you really have no reason to gripe. ... and for the guys who say they can't meet any single women? Word up... Deep in your little reptilian brain, you must be thinking that the only good ones are 'taken'... so after them you run. Sounds like a convenient excuse for some of you to continue being a-holes and have someone else to blame. Edited April 28, 2012 by RedRobin 1
persevere Posted April 28, 2012 Posted April 28, 2012 I am the poster boy for #3. LOL! Ditto. I remember an OLD date, years back. I drove across Dallas, rush hour, in the driving rain. I waited. Tried calling. She no showed on me. Drove home, red faced mad. She was "sorry she didn't make it. "ex" boyfriend showed up when she was out the door. She just had to stay and visit with him. Oh, but would you like to try again??"
daphne Posted April 28, 2012 Posted April 28, 2012 Women are not alone in this behavior. I have met a ton of guys recently broken up after long relationships. Some even talked about it on the first date, as if it was a point of interest for me. Then there are the newly divorced men. Or the men who aren't divorced yet, but tell you they've been divorced for long enough to not look suspicious. For the love of god, those are the worst. Overall, people just lack integrity or self restraint. They don't know how to be in a healthy, happy relationship. They're unstable and selfish. Don't be pissed off that they exist. Learn to spot the signs, so you can successfully bypass them. The interesting thing, is that the one guy who wasn't even divorced cried like a baby when I told him it wasn't going to work out. He clearly had issues and wasn't ready for a real relationship. He spent many of his waking hours talking to women online. We rarely saw each other. He didn't know how to treat a date. He was a nightmare. Yet, he told himself and everyone else online how honest he was. Watch out for anyone that puts how honest they are in a profile. They're the biggest liars out there. 2
Joaquin Posted April 28, 2012 Posted April 28, 2012 Overall, people just lack integrity or self restraint. They don't know how to be in a healthy, happy relationship. They're unstable and selfish. Don't be pissed off that they exist. Learn to spot the signs, so you can successfully bypass them. there. I agree. Well said.
Mrlonelyone Posted April 28, 2012 Posted April 28, 2012 (edited) Every man I have had sex with since the age of 25 has been married at the time. I always found out afterwards. I don't even ask or care anymore since I have seen so many married people cheat. I am really starting to think of marriage is more like a very long on/off FB BF/GF relationship in which people choose to have most of their sex and most of their children with each other. Then there are the swingers and wife swappers. Then there are the working girls straight and trans that I have known (not as a client...) who service couples. I agree totally with the OP. A long time ago I realized that even the most pathetic, pitiful person has someone somewhere who is romantically interested in them on some level or the other. No one and I mean no one is so pitiful that no one will do them. The trick is also being interested in that person and having the nerve to make a move. I would say that monogamy was invented by Abrahamic religion but then Abraham , Moses, and Muhammad all had multiples wives and divorce was easy. The romans gave us one man one woman....but then they had orgies on top of that! My point is the idea of 100% unattached people meeting, marrying, and being 100% faithful to each other is a nice ideal but it has NEVER really worked that way. So just forget it and enjoy the moments as they come. Edited April 28, 2012 by Mrlonelyone
truth_seeker Posted April 28, 2012 Posted April 28, 2012 This thread is an eye-opener, at least for me. It does seem that men and women have that one partner they count on but venture off from time-to-time with other people. I think it's called: having your cake and eating it, too?
Joaquin Posted April 28, 2012 Posted April 28, 2012 My point is the idea of 100% unattached people meeting, marrying, and being 100% faithful to each other is a nice ideal but it has NEVER really worked that way. So just forget it and enjoy the moments as they come. Sound advise. Are you a divorce attorney by any chance? 1
phineas Posted April 28, 2012 Posted April 28, 2012 Both men & women do this however they not only do it differently, they all seem to be trying to come up with new & imaginative ways to do it.
wwwjd Posted April 28, 2012 Posted April 28, 2012 Every man I have had sex with since the age of 25 has been married at the time. I always found out afterwards. I don't even ask or care anymore since I have seen so many married people cheat. I am really starting to think of marriage is more like a very long on/off FB BF/GF relationship in which people choose to have most of their sex and most of their children with each other. Then there are the swingers and wife swappers. Then there are the working girls straight and trans that I have known (not as a client...) who service couples. I agree totally with the OP. A long time ago I realized that even the most pathetic, pitiful person has someone somewhere who is romantically interested in them on some level or the other. No one and I mean no one is so pitiful that no one will do them. The trick is also being interested in that person and having the nerve to make a move. I would say that monogamy was invented by Abrahamic religion but then Abraham , Moses, and Muhammad all had multiples wives and divorce was easy. The romans gave us one man one woman....but then they had orgies on top of that! My point is the idea of 100% unattached people meeting, marrying, and being 100% faithful to each other is a nice ideal but it has NEVER really worked that way. So just forget it and enjoy the moments as they come. Gee, maybe if we ALL keep thinking a certain negative way, it will all come true. Sorry, honey, not EVERYONE's life is like that. Compared to your scenario, I live in a freaking completely unachievable fairy tale land, where people DO find true love and live happily ever after. But you gotta put in WORK to enjoy those spoils, not just throw in the towel and fall for the lowest common denominator: Everybody cheats.... because EVERYBODY includes you. but not me
Mrlonelyone Posted April 29, 2012 Posted April 29, 2012 WWWJD It would be negative thinking if I was making it up. Swingers and wife swapping married couples exist don't they? Polgyny exist and is well documented even in the bible. Orgies existed through the Roman and Byzantine Empires, who's tradition of monogamy we inherited. Various sex workers open themselves up to servicing couples so there is a demand for a third party. Then there are all the families in which the fathers each have several baby mama's and each man is knowingly (or unknowingly) raising another mans's child while some other man is raising his children. It's not negative because lets be honest, mankind has been evolutionarily quite successful by being a race of slutty bastards.
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