Titania22 Posted April 28, 2012 Posted April 28, 2012 Hey Guys, Not an update on my experiences asking random men out this time. I just felt I wanted to share. A few years back I had the best guy friend in my life. He was an amazing man. And we had a great friendship until he unexpectedly passed away. At the time I would never have considered him romantically. I wasn't in that place where I could truly appreciate what a great man he was. (Although I did appreciate him as much as I was capable of at the time.) From my experience these past few years, I can now really understand how fortunate I was to meet someone like him. I have never met anybody of his caliber or even close since. Despite him being an older man, I feel that if he was alive today, I would be open to a relationship with him if he wanted. Seriously why haven't I met any men of that quality since? Was he the last one? Are they all extinct now? Or was he my actual soul mate and I have to wait until next lifetime? I don't know the answers, but I am so thankful I knew him, and I know that I would appreciate him more now that I am older and wiser, and that if there were more people like him, the world would be an incredible place. (Of course another thought, is that I met him when I was in a broken place, and I wonder if maybe I don't meet those sort of people because I am no longer broken, and they are busy helping those that are.) 3
Airborne Posted April 28, 2012 Posted April 28, 2012 Death can make us think of friends in fonder terms than we ever did when they were alive. You would have realized it at the time if he was the man you were meant to be with. What about him do you miss? Having someone who always cherished you and your company? That's not impossible to replicate.
Author Titania22 Posted April 28, 2012 Author Posted April 28, 2012 Death can make us think of friends in fonder terms than we ever did when they were alive. You would have realized it at the time if he was the man you were meant to be with. What about him do you miss? Having someone who always cherished you and your company? That's not impossible to replicate. Yeah I agree. But I have always been fixated on younger men and he was older, so that is hardly a good long reason to not think he might have been the one. Well, we got each other. And that just seems so rare. It was like him and one of my girlfriends at the time, were the only 2 people who could look at me, and see what I couldn't see in myself. I see it now, but I don't feel like anyone else does. And I got both of them too. My girlfriend is still alive and we are still close, but he isn't, of course. He was intelligent, and committed to finding what was funny in every situation, which meant I laughed alot in his company. But he also had a background in ninjitsu and thus eastern philosophy, so had a way that he lived his life and he was honorable. He always appreciated and noticed the details. For example once I made dinner, nothing special just omelet on toast, cost me about $1 per person, and he ate it like it was the perfect meal. He was very dependable, he would always turn up at 5:30pm every Saturday for a cup of tea. I just like that he knew himself, and how he wanted to live, and it didn't matter to him if it wasn't popular. I may not have considered him romantically at the time, but I did respect him and I did think of him as the best man I had ever met. And a week before he died, he said to me "we are like life partners". So I know that I was special to him too. For years I have been saying that if he existed, there must be other good men in the world. But I think when I say good, I don't just mean good, I mean well rounded men who live by a code of honour and tbh I haven't really found any others. I don't expect other men to have his interests, or be exactly the same as him. But what is interesting is also, that when I met him we had an instant connection, and I haven't had that in a long while with anyone.
wwwjd Posted April 28, 2012 Posted April 28, 2012 Yes, we are out there. We are not in the night clubs, flaunting or chasing one night stands, we are home watching a movie, messing about online, working on our hobbies, spending time with friends or family, we drive mediocre vehicles, not a "Look at me" sports car, or a compensating monster truck, we are grocery shopping using the little basket instead of the larger cart, we dress decently but not outlandishly, we are everywhere, but no where because you see us every day, yet you don't see us at all because we blend in. we are not trying to prove anything or beat the next guy - it's not a competition to us, but a slower process of patiently enjoying life. so, we are not as noisy as the players who ARE competing for the women blinded enough to keep falling for it over and over. And we don't bother with them, as their a-typical lifestyle of entitlement does not mesh well with ours. And we want a gal like that too: honest, faithful, lovely... So, you need to be like we are or why even bother? If you smile and be approachable, we will approach, after checking your ring finger. But at the first sign of insincerity, we're gone and don't waste our time looking back. We are too busy enjoying living. If you want to enjoy that kind of ride step up, but it is not a short highly charged carnival ride where you exit with a broken heart next to an empty pillow. It is a journey where you agree to grow old an conquer speed bumps together rather than with lawyers. A journey that can promise a highly charged ride if you are on board for the long haul of growth. Don't lose hope. Just keep swimming and you'll find out you are crossing many of our paths. 2
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