lovers Posted April 28, 2012 Posted April 28, 2012 so i was having lunch with my friend and he was talking about how he ate food at this one place and i was like who'd u eat with then he stares at me for a couple secs and says my ex name. he said it kinda lod and my chest got tense for a bit. he says he just saw her on campus an they ate. i didnt bother asking him if she said anything about me or anything, but that took me by surprise. hes my best friend and she has been dating someone else now but i just thot it was weird that he would eat and talk with her like that. after all the cruel **** she did after all the pain she put me through. i just dont get it. tell me if im wrong but it bothered me a bit when he said that. been 7 months now and i havnt talked to her for 4 months.
Chi townD Posted April 28, 2012 Posted April 28, 2012 You should tell him that you don't want to talk about her or even hear her name. If he's truely your friend, then he should understand.
xztjohn Posted April 28, 2012 Posted April 28, 2012 (edited) that sucks Edited April 28, 2012 by xztjohn
Author lovers Posted April 28, 2012 Author Posted April 28, 2012 do you guys think it was a bit messed up that he ate out with her? we had a pretty nasty break up.
Chi townD Posted April 28, 2012 Posted April 28, 2012 Nah, people are naturally curious. If they weren't, then there wouldn't be gossip rags at the check out of grocery stores. I don't know the situation where he ended up having lunch with her. But regardless......I would remind him that you'd rather not hear a word about her. I would ignore it.
threebyfate Posted April 28, 2012 Posted April 28, 2012 As a guess, there's a part of you that feels your best friend is being disloyal. You've already lost a lot of your social network because of her and don't really want your friend fraternizing with the enemy who in some ways, you probably still miss and possibly feel a spot of jealousy towards both. You also might be wondering and maybe hoping if she's having lunch with your friend, it's to pump information from him about you. Or maybe you don't want your friend telling her about your situation and the things you might have shared with him. Tough situation. While you can't control your friend or ex, I can empathize. Time heals.
Author lovers Posted April 28, 2012 Author Posted April 28, 2012 its just really weird, its not like her roomies eat out with me, so i feel like my best friend that ive known since kidergarden should do the same. when he told me i just changed the topic but it bothered me a bit. i think if he does it again ima be upfront say if u continue to do that then i really dont want to associate with u. i mean whats ur guys opinion i feel like im just bein an ass. that im makin this more of a problem then it should be.
jennisfora Posted April 28, 2012 Posted April 28, 2012 i think you need to focus on what you can control...which is yourself. other people will do what they do, and there is nothing you can do about it. he can eat with who he wants, but, he can respect your wishes and not talk about it. sounds like to me, that you asked him, and he didn't want to lie, but hadn't told you because he knew it would upset you. so he is walking a tough line. i doubt he meant any disloyalty. it could have been a situation where he went to this place, and she happened to be there as well. they might not have planned and went in together, or he might have been part of a larger group.
hellodearest Posted April 28, 2012 Posted April 28, 2012 I really don't think it's weird - though if it bothers you, you should say something.
CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC Posted April 28, 2012 Posted April 28, 2012 I would feel kind of hurt too being that it might feel like betrayal. But at least he was honest with you and told you that he went to lunch with her. What if you found out from her that she went to lunch with him?
Author lovers Posted April 29, 2012 Author Posted April 29, 2012 yeah that would suck but i dont talk to her at all i just ignore her so i would never know.
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