katylane22 Posted April 28, 2012 Posted April 28, 2012 Background: After I suggested we try it, my BF of 3.5 years was the one to break it off "temporarily" on Sunday. Try contacting him that night and get no response until Monday morning. He tells me to he wants his space. Tuesday I ask him if this is permanent, he responds "We're done. I don't want to speak to you for a long time." Message received. Began unannounced NC contact Tuesday - present. Two days ago, he tweets, "I'll get over it eventually..." Yesterday night, he posts "Adult grape juice... I'm not sure if this fixes pain, but it sure cures it for the time being." I understand that after 3.5 years, breaking up will be a painful experience for either party. I don't need to ask whether he's hurting - he is. Especially considering that either one of us really wanted to break up, but we both felt it was best for the sake of our relationship. His posts were clearly written with me in mind. He wants me to read them and I did. What does he want from me?!
xenomorph Posted April 28, 2012 Posted April 28, 2012 NC means you don't read his activity on social media either. Ignore him. Make sure he can't see you on social media either. He can keep his wishy washy woe is me bit to himself until he is ready to say something to you of real substance (see post above) 1
ToyWithMe812 Posted April 28, 2012 Posted April 28, 2012 Background: After I suggested we try it, my BF of 3.5 years was the one to break it off "temporarily" on Sunday. Try contacting him that night and get no response until Monday morning. He tells me to he wants his space. Tuesday I ask him if this is permanent, he responds "We're done. I don't want to speak to you for a long time." Message received. Began unannounced NC contact Tuesday - present. Two days ago, he tweets, "I'll get over it eventually..." Yesterday night, he posts "Adult grape juice... I'm not sure if this fixes pain, but it sure cures it for the time being." I understand that after 3.5 years, breaking up will be a painful experience for either party. I don't need to ask whether he's hurting - he is. Especially considering that either one of us really wanted to break up, but we both felt it was best for the sake of our relationship. His posts were clearly written with me in mind. He wants me to read them and I did. What does he want from me?! I don't want to sound like Grandpa Simpson here but twitter, facebook, those are such childish avenues to vent anything related to a breakup about. It is not so much trouble to actually call someone you supposedly miss/care about, or at the very least, text them. It seems so very childish to drag relationship issues onto a social network. 2
Jono85 Posted April 28, 2012 Posted April 28, 2012 did it never occur to you that he simply broke it off because you crushed his ego by suggesting it in the first place??? if my gf suggested that, that's what i would do. if she's was too cowardly to break up with me herself. yes he's being an attention whore with his tweets, but he's obviously hurting. it seems like in the OP you're suggesting he broke up with you or something, which is silly. if you suggested it, and brought it up first, it's entirely plausible that he broke up with you in defence. and right now you might be projecting the break up on him, to avoid the guilt. just a thought..
ToyWithMe812 Posted April 28, 2012 Posted April 28, 2012 did it never occur to you that he simply broke it off because you crushed his ego by suggesting it in the first place??? if my gf suggested that, that's what i would do. if she's was too cowardly to break up with me herself. yes he's being an attention whore with his tweets, but he's obviously hurting. it seems like in the OP you're suggesting he broke up with you or something, which is silly. if you suggested it, and brought it up first, it's entirely plausible that he broke up with you in defence. and right now you might be projecting the break up on him, to avoid the guilt. just a thought.. Totally missed that man, spot on. You suggested it, it was obviously something you didn't want, why the "heartbreak" now?
CC12 Posted April 28, 2012 Posted April 28, 2012 I'm a little confused about how you're presenting this. After I suggested we try it, my BF of 3.5 years was the one to break it off "temporarily" on Sunday. If you suggested it first, then it seems like you were the one that prompted the breakup. Try contacting him that night and get no response until Monday morning. He tells me to he wants his space. Tuesday I ask him if this is permanent, he responds "We're done. I don't want to speak to you for a long time." So it's not a "temporary" break up, then. You two are "done." Message received. Began unannounced NC contact Tuesday - present. Unannounced? He said he doesn't want to speak to you. That's NC. His posts were clearly written with me in mind. He wants me to read them and I did. What does he want from me?! The posts may have been about you, but that doesn't mean they require a response from you. If he wants to speak to you, he will contact you directly. Honestly, I think you're in a bit of denial. You prompted the breakup, then you keep contacting him, he tells you it's over and that he doesn't want to talk to you anymore, you make up this thing about "unannounced" NC, and you read into his silly emo posts thinking that he's inviting contact. From my outside perspective, it really seems like it's over and that you're latching on to any little thing and trying to explain away the reality of the situation. This isn't really relevant, but I'm curious - did you suggest the breakup just to make some sort of point, or did you really think breaking up was the best option?
leoc1973 Posted April 28, 2012 Posted April 28, 2012 I think we need a little more info on your situation but this one seems really simple. He thought you were going to dump him so he dumped you first to straighten you out and it worked. You want him back and now he's going to play the game. I must say good for him! You screwed up and you should never threaten a guy with a break up. He called your bluff and he is going to remain NC till you come back begging. I am pretty sure of this. Be careful here because if you go back begging he is going to make you suffer for even thinking about dumping him and if you remain NC and neither of you flinches you lose each other for good. This guy is awesome most of us on here wish we had the guts to tell our ex's what he did when you were talking about dumping him.
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