somedude81 Posted April 28, 2012 Posted April 28, 2012 They don't say it because most guys would be turned off by that kind of talk. I know women date around, multi-dating is a part of life and when I meet a woman I know there is a chance that she is seeing other men. That doesn't mean I want her to tell me straight up "hey I'm also dating three other guys and I'm having sex with all of them!" That would be a total turn off. I don't think a woman would want a guy to say stuff like that either. And that's exactly why I'd want a girl to be upfront about it. overall both men and women will for the most part not be up front and honest about that because most people will not want to be involved with someone who sleeps around. Exactly. A girl who lies about it, has something to hide lol. In my opinion, if men want to deny women's sexual needs, they totally deserve being lied to. That's what you get for holding stupid double standards. So women need to sleep with many guys? As long as women expect men to pay for early dates and slander men who won't pay the "gentleman tax," this will be an issue. A man who has no problem paying for early dates with women who may go sleep with a different guy right after the date won't have any problem with this kind of thing, a man who finds it inconsistent and wouldn't otherwise pay will have problems, rightfully so, and it really depends on the man in question. Since women won't know which on early dates, it's on them not to accept courtship displays that involve the man paying for things they both enjoy. The old social model of men asserting and paying for courtship was based on 1) a relatively chaste woman on the other side of the table, a "lady," and 2) a world where women didn't have their own assets to pay for themselves. Like so many other aspects of gender relations though, the "good for women" parts have remained while the "good for men" parts have somehow been pronounced unreasonable and unduly burdensome on women. Exactly. If a man is going to go through the trouble of winning and dining a woman, she better not be be banging somebody else.
Cypress25 Posted April 28, 2012 Posted April 28, 2012 You have no idea about my success with women. I am going by what you wrote in your other thread complaining about online dating. It seems you strike out with women a lot, and don't understand why.
FrustratedStandards Posted April 28, 2012 Posted April 28, 2012 Society should get over it. Tell them that.
kaylan Posted April 28, 2012 Posted April 28, 2012 Any chick who knows me knows that I dont want to screw around with her if shes getting it in with another bloke. I just think its nasty to be swapping bodily fluids with more than one person at a time. Too much risk involved. Once her and I have sex I expect to be told if something happens with another person, and I can make my own decisions after that. When it comes to simple casual dating and just making out, she doesnt need to tell me anything, and I dont need to tell her anything. But once anything sexual gets involved, I would be honest with her about other folks and I expect the same. I just thinks its gross to screw more than one person at a time, whether you are man or woman. Its simply whore-ish, dirty, and unsafe health wise. 1
Feelsgoodman Posted April 28, 2012 Posted April 28, 2012 I'm not talking about illegal. I'm talking about the difference between right and wrong. Married people have promised each other that they won't become romantically involved with anyone else. They have made an official commitment to each other, they've taken vows, they even have it in writing. When you're single and just starting to date someone, you haven't made any promises to each other yet. No vows, no commitment, nothing. If you want commitment from someone, you have to talk about it, you can't just impose it on them without their consent. Vows mean nothing when there is no punishment for breaking them. The whole "marriage vows" thing is purely symbolic. 1
Cypress25 Posted April 28, 2012 Posted April 28, 2012 I just think its nasty to be swapping bodily fluids with more than one person at a time. Too much risk involved. Invest in condoms. But I agree that once sex is involved, both partners need to be clear about any other current partners they might have. Of course, I think the relationship is probably getting serious once sex is involved, so you'd be way past the casual dating phase anyway. POF is free, you get what you pay for, it is like a soup kitchen. It is not as quality as Match or E-Harmony. The free sites are the same as the paid sites. It's all the same people anyway. I've used both free and paid sites, and most people on the paid sites also have profiles on the free sites. Why not, right? Might as well take advantage of the free sites and expand your options. It's the people that make the website what it is, and you'll find the same people on every site. The quality of the people is no different. Vows mean nothing when there is no punishment for breaking them. The whole "marriage vows" thing is purely symbolic. I think divorce and alimony are pretty severe punishments. Most people who cheat on their spouse try to get away with it. Getting caught is their punishment. There are emotional consequences for both people. Going to jail is not the only form of punishment in the world.
Woggle Posted April 28, 2012 Posted April 28, 2012 Divorce and alimony in some cases are rewards for cheating.
goldengirl11 Posted April 28, 2012 Posted April 28, 2012 Any chick who knows me knows that I dont want to screw around with her if shes getting it in with another bloke. I just think its nasty to be swapping bodily fluids with more than one person at a time. Too much risk involved. Once her and I have sex I expect to be told if something happens with another person, and I can make my own decisions after that. When it comes to simple casual dating and just making out, she doesnt need to tell me anything, and I dont need to tell her anything. But once anything sexual gets involved, I would be honest with her about other folks and I expect the same. I just thinks its gross to screw more than one person at a time, whether you are man or woman. Its simply whore-ish, dirty, and unsafe health wise. Absolutely agree with you Kaylan. Well that was short and sweet!
Quiet Storm Posted April 28, 2012 Posted April 28, 2012 ny chick who knows me knows that I dont want to screw around with her if shes getting it in with another bloke. I just think its nasty to be swapping bodily fluids with more than one person at a time. Too much risk involved. Once her and I have sex I expect to be told if something happens with another person, and I can make my own decisions after that. When it comes to simple casual dating and just making out, she doesnt need to tell me anything, and I dont need to tell her anything. But once anything sexual gets involved, I would be honest with her about other folks and I expect the same. I just thinks its gross to screw more than one person at a time, whether you are man or woman. Its simply whore-ish, dirty, and unsafe health wise. I agree. It is gross. I like being married. T/J- Bloke? You sure you're from NY?
Feelsgoodman Posted April 28, 2012 Posted April 28, 2012 I think divorce and alimony are pretty severe punishments. Most people who cheat on their spouse try to get away with it. Getting caught is their punishment. There are emotional consequences for both people. Going to jail is not the only form of punishment in the world. Divorce and alimony have nothing to do with infidelity. You can divorce for pretty much any reason nowadays, even if there was no infidelity. On the flip side, you could be cheated on and stuck paying alimony to your cheating ex-spouse. Plenty of cases like that too. How is that "punishment"? Marriage has pretty much lost all meaning. It's no different than simply being boyfriend and girlfriend...except there is a socialist-like wealth redistribution scheme in case things don't work out.
kaylan Posted April 28, 2012 Posted April 28, 2012 I agree. It is gross. I like being married. T/J- Bloke? You sure you're from NY? Born and raised in NY haha. Ive just had friends over the years from across the Atlantic. I was also an International Business major in college, and only just recently graduated. Our business school had many international students, and given my major, I met many of them. So some of the lingo they used rubbed off on me. Also Im a big soccer fan so I watch a lot of English football on tv. Im a Chelsea fan actually, and am pretty stoked about them going to the Champions League final.
Cypress25 Posted April 28, 2012 Posted April 28, 2012 Divorce and alimony have nothing to do with infidelity. You can divorce for pretty much any reason nowadays, even if there was no infidelity. That's true, but quite often, infidelity is the sole reason for getting divorced. I would sure as hell divorce my husband if he cheated on me. Marriage has pretty much lost all meaning. It's no different than simply being boyfriend and girlfriend...except there is a socialist-like wealth redistribution scheme in case things don't work out. I assume that people who get married do so because it means something to them. If marriage doesn't mean anything to them, they don't get married in the first place. If you're married, it better mean something to you, otherwise you really shouldn't be taking meaningless vows.
Quiet Storm Posted April 28, 2012 Posted April 28, 2012 Also Im a big soccer fan so I watch a lot of English football on tv. Im a Chelsea fan actually, and am pretty stoked about them going to the Champions League final. My sons love both American & European football. Chelsea & the Ravens. I'm still cleaning up the mess from last weeks celebration... Chelsea flags, scarfs all over my house. We are taking them to see Chelsea in July when they play in DC. End T/J Marriage works for some people, and doesn't for others. I have found that people who have parents that are still married to each are more marriage minded. I think children of divorce are usually quicker to pull the plug.
phineas Posted April 28, 2012 Posted April 28, 2012 Not everyone is as accepting of multi-dating as you are. If a woman wants to date several guys at once, it's her right but I won't be one of them. I would certainly want to have that information upfront to avoid wasting my time. Saying that a woman doesn't have to mention that she's multi-dating is like saying that a guy does not have to disclose that he's married. Except, i've lost count of how many women I went out with that made it seem like if it wasn't for me asking them out they would be sitting at home alone watching some chick flick or doing laundry & the whole time they got another guy on the line or a FWB or whatever. Regardless, there always seems to be another guy making time with them. I personally don't care because I don't spend much cash (even if it's dutch) on women who aren't my GF. It's when they start trying to keep tabs on me that i'll start to inquire. They will say "i'm not interested in anyone else" when I ask them if their seeing anyone else. LOL! I've actually gone out with women who didn't want me talking to other women while they were secretly seeing other men. Nothing like running into a woman you are seeing who claimed she wasn't seeing anyone else.
phineas Posted April 28, 2012 Posted April 28, 2012 It is all about the power of the vagina. Imagine this, a man and woman who are very attracted to eachother go on a date, the date goes well, great conversation, great chemistry everything is going well until the check comes. I guarantee that if the man asked to split the check the womans perception of him would change like a bee bit her in her arse. Yeah its called entitlement. All the femme-nazis out there can dispute that by saying oh I dont mind paying half but deep down they know its a turn off if a guy doesnt fit the bill. Sweet deal. An attractive woman can just go online & pick a new guy to buy her drinks when ever she wants. LOL!
Nikki Sahagin Posted April 29, 2012 Posted April 29, 2012 But you can certainly turn a housewife into a harlot. And this is exactly what our "modern" society has done by turning 80% of women into glorified prostitutes. This is why women lie about it. Because a woman who openly enjoys sex is seen as a 'glorified prostitute'.
somedude81 Posted April 29, 2012 Posted April 29, 2012 This is why women lie about it. Because a woman who openly enjoys sex is seen as a 'glorified prostitute'. No, a woman who expects gifts and time spent on her etc, in exchange for sex, is a glorified prostitute.
Nikki Sahagin Posted April 29, 2012 Posted April 29, 2012 No, a woman who expects gifts and time spent on her etc, in exchange for sex, is a glorified prostitute. Honestly I don't know many girls or guys that play the spend money for sex game. Usually the guy pays for the first date. After that, they pretty much split costs or buy stuff for each other.
Feelsgoodman Posted April 29, 2012 Posted April 29, 2012 This is why women lie about it. Because a woman who openly enjoys sex is seen as a 'glorified prostitute'. A woman who enjoys sex is not necessarily a multi-dating slut/glorified prostitute. Enjoying sex is kind of like enjoying alcohol...everyone does it differently. One man might enjoy a glass of fine wine with his meal while another enjoys consuming a 24 pack of beer while watching football. Unfortunately, many women nowadays fall in the latter (24 pack) category.
Nikki Sahagin Posted April 29, 2012 Posted April 29, 2012 A woman who enjoys sex is not necessarily a multi-dating slut/glorified prostitute. Enjoying sex is kind of like enjoying alcohol...everyone does it differently. One man might enjoy a glass of fine wine with his meal while another enjoys consuming a 24 pack of beer while watching football. Unfortunately, many women nowadays fall in the latter (24 pack) category. But there is a stigma attached to women having multiple partners. The woman can be seen as dirty, unclean, damaged goods, used up, loose and without morals. I would tell a guy I wanted a relationship with my number but only if I felt he was mature enough to accept it and not throw it around when we had an argument...ps my numbers not high!
phineas Posted April 29, 2012 Posted April 29, 2012 But there is a stigma attached to women having multiple partners. The woman can be seen as dirty, unclean, damaged goods, used up, loose and without morals. I would tell a guy I wanted a relationship with my number but only if I felt he was mature enough to accept it and not throw it around when we had an argument...ps my numbers not high! 1. I doubt many men are impressed by a dude sleeping with 2 or 3 women at the same time secretly. Impresses me about as much as a woman doing it does. 2. a MATURE man wouldn't even care to ask your "number". I mean seriously. It's not like your hole wears out or anything.
thatone Posted April 30, 2012 Posted April 30, 2012 Correct me if I'm wrong but did you just say men who don't like women who sleep around deserve to be lied to? looks like it to me. honestly i agree with her. But seriously why would you agree? Makes no sense. it makes all the sense in the world. this ties back in with a thread a few days with an article about women not trying to behave as 'men' (as in all men) want them to. what do 'men' want? apparently whores or housewife like their mother was who can hide the fact that she ever had sex more than the 2.5 times she got pregnant for 18 years at a time. or maybe neither, or both. this is all pretty stupid, to be honest. if you make a habit of hanging around women who are either scared of sex or who have convinced themselves that it's a bargaining tool only to be spent in time of perfect circumstances, you're going to wind up in a sexless relationship and not be happy. if you make a habit of hanging around women who ditched the father of her kids to f*ck the bartender at her favorite pub you're going to wind up cheated on by her and some dumbass ex con. somewhere in the middle there are lots of healthy people with normal sex drives and normal sexual behavior. so yeah, unless you want a sexless relationship/marriage, you don't get to complain about your wife/gf not being a virgin.
Ross MwcFan Posted April 30, 2012 Posted April 30, 2012 It's strange how women with multiple sexual partners aren't expected to admit it to their date or bf. But if a guy is a virgin, he's expected to say that he is to his date or gf, and if he doesn't admit it it's a big deal.
thatone Posted April 30, 2012 Posted April 30, 2012 It's strange how women with multiple sexual partners aren't expected to admit it to their date or bf. But if a guy is a virgin, he's expected to say that he is to his date or gf, and if he doesn't admit it it's a big deal. since when? every time a virgin male shows up on this forum lots of people (women too!) tell him to either avoid the subject or lie about it.
Radu Posted April 30, 2012 Posted April 30, 2012 All of the women i've dated so far have lost their virginity at significantly lower ages than i did, and have certainly had more partners than i did. A man who sleeps around with many women is just as bad as a woman who sleeps around with many men. The only difference between the 2 is that men generally don't lie as well about it as women do.
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