singlelife Posted April 27, 2012 Posted April 27, 2012 I just think that it's not a big deal. It seems women try to sneak and then they get found out (only because they make it a secret) and then they get awkward. I don't think men will judge as much as they think they will. But when you lie about it, it cause a situation. Just trying to find out the thought process.
Cypress25 Posted April 27, 2012 Posted April 27, 2012 I'm confused. Are you saying they should go around announcing it to everyone they meet? Should they put it on a billboard for all to see? People have a right to privacy, you know. Some people like to keep their personal life to themselves, it doesn't mean they're sneaking around or lying about it. If they're not in a relationship, they can date whoever they want. They're not obligated to inform random people.
FrustratedStandards Posted April 27, 2012 Posted April 27, 2012 Because first of all, sex life is private and you don't just go around telling people. Second of all, social stigma degrades women who have many sexual partners. So they lie about it.
Feanor Posted April 27, 2012 Posted April 27, 2012 They don't say it because most guys would be turned off by that kind of talk. I know women date around, multi-dating is a part of life and when I meet a woman I know there is a chance that she is seeing other men. That doesn't mean I want her to tell me straight up "hey I'm also dating three other guys and I'm having sex with all of them!" That would be a total turn off. I don't think a woman would want a guy to say stuff like that either. 1
Author singlelife Posted April 27, 2012 Author Posted April 27, 2012 I'm confused. Are you saying they should go around announcing it to everyone they meet? Should they put it on a billboard for all to see? People have a right to privacy, you know. Some people like to keep their personal life to themselves, it doesn't mean they're sneaking around or lying about it. If they're not in a relationship, they can date whoever they want. They're not obligated to inform random people. Sometimes I think they should. It just keeps things upfront.
Pyro Posted April 27, 2012 Posted April 27, 2012 overall both men and women will for the most part not be up front and honest about that because most people will not want to be involved with someone who sleeps around. 1
Author singlelife Posted April 27, 2012 Author Posted April 27, 2012 Because first of all, sex life is private and you don't just go around telling people. Second of all, social stigma degrades women who have many sexual partners. So they lie about it. Society should get over it.
Lil1 Posted April 27, 2012 Posted April 27, 2012 singlelife I posted a similar question to yours once and the response I got was basically: "a key is more valuable then a ****ty lock". Very crudely stated but it resonated. Like it or not women are held at a different standard by society when it comes to sexual promiscuity. Some women go against the grain and many choose to keep it on the DL. It's a personal choice which everyone is entitled to. 1
mesmerized Posted April 27, 2012 Posted April 27, 2012 singlelife I posted a similar question to yours once and the response I got was basically: "a key is more valuable then a ****ty lock". Very crudely stated but it resonated. Like it or not women are held at a different standard by society when it comes to sexual promiscuity. Some women go against the grain and many choose to keep it on the DL. It's a personal choice which everyone is entitled to. lol. In my opinion, if men want to deny women's sexual needs, they totally deserve being lied to. That's what you get for holding stupid double standards. 1
Author singlelife Posted April 27, 2012 Author Posted April 27, 2012 lol. In my opinion, if men want to deny women's sexual needs, they totally deserve being lied to. That's what you get for holding stupid double standards. what you said.
Necris Posted April 27, 2012 Posted April 27, 2012 lol. In my opinion, if men want to deny women's sexual needs, they totally deserve being lied to. That's what you get for holding stupid double standards. Correct me if I'm wrong but did you just say men who don't like women who sleep around deserve to be lied to?
thatone Posted April 28, 2012 Posted April 28, 2012 Correct me if I'm wrong but did you just say men who don't like women who sleep around deserve to be lied to? looks like it to me. honestly i agree with her.
DarkPrince Posted April 28, 2012 Posted April 28, 2012 I honestly would only judge a woman on her sexual lifestyle if she lied about it, then I found out months or years later about it. Then its about being lied to. I never hold back any details about my sexual past so why should a woman? 2
Necris Posted April 28, 2012 Posted April 28, 2012 looks like it to me. honestly i agree with her. That, that logic I... I don..., can't understand.
dasein Posted April 28, 2012 Posted April 28, 2012 As long as women expect men to pay for early dates and slander men who won't pay the "gentleman tax," this will be an issue. A man who has no problem paying for early dates with women who may go sleep with a different guy right after the date won't have any problem with this kind of thing, a man who finds it inconsistent and wouldn't otherwise pay will have problems, rightfully so, and it really depends on the man in question. Since women won't know which on early dates, it's on them not to accept courtship displays that involve the man paying for things they both enjoy. The old social model of men asserting and paying for courtship was based on 1) a relatively chaste woman on the other side of the table, a "lady," and 2) a world where women didn't have their own assets to pay for themselves. Like so many other aspects of gender relations though, the "good for women" parts have remained while the "good for men" parts have somehow been pronounced unreasonable and unduly burdensome on women. 2
Cypress25 Posted April 28, 2012 Posted April 28, 2012 LOL, men think women owe them the world just because they pay for a few dates. Split the bill if that's how you feel and spare everyone from your resentment. I always offer to pay half when I'm on a date, and I think most women do these days. If you insist on paying for a woman on a date, you can't hold it against her. That takes the generous spirit right out of it. If you're not a generous person, then don't pretend to be. Just ask for separate checks. There, now she doesn't owe you anything. Don't you feel better? 2
Feelsgoodman Posted April 28, 2012 Posted April 28, 2012 They don't say it because most guys would be turned off by that kind of talk. I know women date around, multi-dating is a part of life and when I meet a woman I know there is a chance that she is seeing other men. That doesn't mean I want her to tell me straight up "hey I'm also dating three other guys and I'm having sex with all of them!" That would be a total turn off. I don't think a woman would want a guy to say stuff like that either. Not everyone is as accepting of multi-dating as you are. If a woman wants to date several guys at once, it's her right but I won't be one of them. I would certainly want to have that information upfront to avoid wasting my time. Saying that a woman doesn't have to mention that she's multi-dating is like saying that a guy does not have to disclose that he's married.
Necris Posted April 28, 2012 Posted April 28, 2012 looks like it to me. honestly i agree with her. But seriously why would you agree? Makes no sense.
Feelsgoodman Posted April 28, 2012 Posted April 28, 2012 lol. In my opinion, if men want to deny women's sexual needs, they totally deserve being lied to. That's what you get for holding stupid double standards. So, by the same logic, it's okay for men to lie about their income and profession, as men get judged harder on these factors (double standard)? What else do you encourage lying about?
Feelsgoodman Posted April 28, 2012 Posted April 28, 2012 Its 2012, female promiscuity is encouraged and accepted. There is an old saying, you cannot turn a harlot into a housewife, and I believe that. But you can certainly turn a housewife into a harlot. And this is exactly what our "modern" society has done by turning 80% of women into glorified prostitutes.
dasein Posted April 28, 2012 Posted April 28, 2012 If you're not a generous person, then don't pretend to be. Hypocritical, and proves my point nicely. Paying for early dates has nothing to do with generosity and everything to do with social expectations. Don't pay, and "you aren't generous" (more likely "cheap") to everyone within earshot and maybe even 500 or so FB friends if you aren't so lucky.
Cypress25 Posted April 28, 2012 Posted April 28, 2012 Saying that a woman doesn't have to mention that she's multi-dating is like saying that a guy does not have to disclose that he's married. Err...being married is not the same as being single and casually dating. Married people should not be dating at all, they are already committed to their spouse. Single people are allowed to date whoever they want. Once you make a commitment to someone, you need to honor it. In the early stages of dating, you're not committed to each other yet.
Feelsgoodman Posted April 28, 2012 Posted April 28, 2012 Err...being married is not the same as being single and casually dating. Married people should not be dating at all, they are already committed to their spouse. Married people are also allowed to do whatever they want. Adultery is no longer illegal. What people should or should not be doing is entirely a matter of opinion. In my view, failing to disclose that you are multi-dating is unethical, as there are many people who have a negative view of such practices and would not want to waste their time on a multi-dater.
dasein Posted April 28, 2012 Posted April 28, 2012 Dating several people at once is not the same as having sex with several people at once. I recommend everyone date several people, at the same time if they like or not, before settling on one option prematurely. If people did this instead of settling on "the one" even before there is an established relationship in place, 80% or so of the "I'm so confused" type threads on this forum would go "poof" instantly and would never need to be posted.
Cypress25 Posted April 28, 2012 Posted April 28, 2012 Married people are also allowed to do whatever they want. Adultery is no longer illegal. I'm not talking about illegal. I'm talking about the difference between right and wrong. Married people have promised each other that they won't become romantically involved with anyone else. They have made an official commitment to each other, they've taken vows, they even have it in writing. When you're single and just starting to date someone, you haven't made any promises to each other yet. No vows, no commitment, nothing. If you want commitment from someone, you have to talk about it, you can't just impose it on them without their consent. All the femme-nazis out there can dispute that by saying oh I dont mind paying half but deep down they know its a turn off if a guy doesnt fit the bill. Thank you for telling women how they really feel. It doesn't matter what women say, because you know they're lying and you know what they're really thinking. Thank God for mind-readers like you, otherwise people might think that women actually know their own minds. No wonder you have no success with women; you just dismiss everything they say and act like you know better.
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