Tracy21 Posted June 21, 2004 Posted June 21, 2004 my boyfriend of 2 years just broke up with me last friday. He is at a point in his life that he needs to figure out some things, I kinda saw it coming but It was really unexpected. I acted as though everything was fine when I was really hurting. I called him the day after the breakup to get someones' number, I even met him 2 days after and asked if he wants to hang out as "friends".....he said it was too soon. He already know that I believe you can never be friends with your ex boyfriend/girlfriend. regardless he insists on being friends with me (I think it's because of guilt) at first I was soo heart broken but now I am moving on.. 1) he dumped me...why should I beg someone who obviously does not care for our relationship 2) his loss not mine...I gave my all...(i realize my mistake now) 3) I have to move on to better things. the list goes on. At first I was so desperate to have him back but now I have realized that..You HAVE TO LET GO...IF they come back..then maybe it was meant to be. I am not going to contact him at all...no calls, no email nothing...This is the only way I can move on.....if he wants to contact me...he knows what to do. LIVE AND LEARN LOVE AND LEARN
rutgers24 Posted June 21, 2004 Posted June 21, 2004 I definitely know where you are coming from. My boyfriend and I were together for two years when he decided that he needed space. Last time I contacted him was this Monday and after that I promised myself not to contact him. He called me this Saturday to see how I was doing. All my friends tell me he called because he got freaked out that I stopped calling all of a sudden. I think its great that you decided to not contact your ex. Everything happens for a reason and we find out through time.
Author Tracy21 Posted June 21, 2004 Author Posted June 21, 2004 yeah rutgers I know what you are saying, with time we will find out. As for now we should keep ouselves busy...work out, go out with friends, do what you have to to keep your mind of him/her. Now that I am not contacting ex I feel so much better...I am even thinking that I honestly can do better than him. He was a nice person but he definitely has some issues (I know I do too) I think this is for the best for both of us. He still has some of my things at his apartment...but I will get that later when I am strong enough to see him. For all those who are struggling with this...be strong. Control your feels...you feel what you want. I know it might seem a little cold but it's for our own good. when someone dumps you..they were not thinking about your feelings, they were looking out for them. LET'S BE STRONG...NO CONTACT!! Eventually they might realize what they lost....you know..you don't realize what you have until it's gone. GOOD LUCK TO YOU ALL!!
lillya Posted June 21, 2004 Posted June 21, 2004 Tracy, I admire your strength!! Keep going, you have it all figured out and the fact that you are so certain in your decision not to contact him makes you a very attractive person to anyone out there! Do not hold on to someone who is obviously ready to "lose" you by breaking up with you! I wonder how old you are; as I used to be exactly like you when I was younger. If I felt a guy wasn't right I just left. Now, things are a bit different. I am 29, the biological clock is somewhat ticking, I have been working on my PhD for years; so haven't saved a lot of money and am somewhat "dependant" on my current boyfriend. We live in his wonderful house, he has a lovely boat on the lake and I get to travel the world with him . There are moments where I think. Is he the one? But then realise what I would lose if I dumped him and had to move to a ****ty little appartment somewhere. I am babbling. sorry! Just wanted to say that I have a lot of respect for your strength :-)
Author Tracy21 Posted June 21, 2004 Author Posted June 21, 2004 Thanks lillya .....I am just trying to figure things out in my life right now. I think that If I keep myself stuck in being sad about the whole relationship thing I will not accomplish anything. I know it's so hard to just move on right after a break up but...life is short...I can not waste my time crying over spilt milk. That's over with, it's time to open another chapter in my life. He lost me and now I have better things to do. I think that just thinking positively and not trying to dwell about what happened helps me to move on faster and easily. Try it.. if you are down..positive affirmations, positive thinking..it really works. And just do what makes you happy! most of all KEEP YOURSELF BUSY. oh and I am 21.
honey2005 Posted June 23, 2004 Posted June 23, 2004 Hey, this is my first time writing anything on here, but I thought I would try to help. My boyfriend of 3 years broke up with me about a month ago. It was the most unexpected and worst thing that could have happened. He had been talking to me less, but I assumed that was just because he was graduating soon, and he had a lot to do to get ready. Well it turned out he was just busy with another girl. He told me not to talk to him ever again. When I asked if he liked someone else, he lied and said no. Then the next day he told me that he wanted to stay friends. Well at the time that seemed the best thing (next to getting back together and pretending this never happened), so I agreed to being friends. I just couldn't see myself not having him in my life. I loved him so much, and he meant the world to me. But then everytime I talked to him he would talk about his new girlfriend (which I later found out he got while we were still together) and everytime I spoke to him I would end up crying afterwards. So last night I decided I wasn't going to talk to him for awhile. Today is my first day of not talking to him since the break up, and I feel really good. I mean, I miss him alot, and sometimes I just break down and cry for no reason. But I'm tired of trying to be friends with someone who hurt me as bad as he did. I gave him 3 years of my life, and he did this. But I think I'm getting over it, and I just want to tell you and everyone else out there that it does get better, even if you don't think so right now.
beautiful Posted June 23, 2004 Posted June 23, 2004 Tracy!! you are doing all the right things!!! You have the correct idea here and all you have to do now is follow what you already know and don't look back. You are worth to be loved and respected. Guys/Girls use the "lets be friends" routine because they feel guilty about their bad behaviors! Don't fall for it! I am a firm believer that there is no such thing as being a friend with an ex. HIS LOSS!
Author Tracy21 Posted June 24, 2004 Author Posted June 24, 2004 Thank you all for the encouragement. I have been able to stick to my decision of not calling him. I was getting weak for the past few days ...but I logged on to this forum and got some encouragement from all of you. With time, things should get better. We all need to focus on what's really important at this time OUR EMOTIONAL WELL BEING
Recommended Posts