Flyin in Clouds Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 Uh, ok... I'd love to f my wife's (our?) best friend.... We had been married for two years when my wife met her friend, L, at work. L was in a relationship at the time. Later she was single. She and my wife took belly dancing lessons together. I always hoped they'd come back from a lesson and show me what they learned and maybe a little more. Never happened. Sigh... Anyway, 30 years later, yes I still have "impure" thoughts about our friend, but I have never acted on those thoughts. What's my point? I have always thought about our friend and how fantastic a threesome with her would be like. But just because I thought that does not mean I'd cheat on my wife. But if my wife was up for it... Woooo whoooo BTW, my wife was the maid of honor when our friend got married and her husband was my business partner. And yes, we guys discussed swapping wives. We concluded the girls would castrate us if we even mentioned it to them, so we dropped the idea. Just because your bf finds other women attractive why be upset? He'd be abnormal if you were the only woman in the world he would find sexually attractive.
Joaquin Posted June 30, 2012 Posted June 30, 2012 You are sending him a message that it's ok to disrespect you when you let him act in this way, and make no mistake, it's incredibly disrespectful. A committed and loving bf or gf does not do this stuff. I do hope the guy isn't taking advantage knowing you have a background of childhood abuse, and I hope your not letting him away with stuff because you think this is normal in a healthy relationship. What you describe sounds like mind games and emotional abuse. Its nasty ugly behaviour.
skywriter Posted July 2, 2012 Posted July 2, 2012 Fats, Sorry but this is just total horse****. I'm so sick of this attitude that some people seem to have that men can't be friends with women without wanting to screw them. There are limits of course and there are boundaries but for god's sake grow up, or do you really think I should not form a deep friendship with a member of half the world's population because of what they have between their legs? Wow, as a woman, it's refreshing to hear that from a guy. I can count one hand, (and have fingers left), how many guy friends I have that feel that way. Even then those guys I've counted, I had to insist that we never do anything to jeopordize our friendship.
Beetleguise Posted July 2, 2012 Posted July 2, 2012 Grunching. Him saying he finds her attractive and would sleep with her is just truthful honesty. The issue is he is trying to / allowing himself to get close to her (No boundaries) Potential disaster
skywriter Posted July 2, 2012 Posted July 2, 2012 (edited) Fats,One last thing. Skywriter, why did you feel you had to insist you never do anything to jeopardise the friendship? Did it just come up in conversation or were your friends attracted to you and you felt you had to set that boundary? One of my male friends, needed a place to stay, I let him become my roommate. So, I set the boundaries, straight away. I absolutely adore this guy and the idea of our friendship being compromised for a quickie, well...it repulsed me. His friendship, on the other hand is priceless. This isn't to say, that if we were ever to be a couple, then it would have to be because it was based on a genuine friendship and was obviously meant to be. Then there is another guy, I've known for 20 yrs. We've seen one another go through relationships and he's hinted we could go there, if I was willing. I love what we have, it seems like once you've went there it changes everyones expectations and it's so hard to go back. So, yea, I did set the boundary. ...and yea, you can have opposite sex friends, if you value one another enough to be friends and not let anything get in the way of it. Yep, sorry for the additional derail! Edited July 2, 2012 by skywriter 1
It's Just Me Posted July 3, 2012 Posted July 3, 2012 Maybe I'm old, but... anybody texting anybody at 1:00 in the morning is inappropriate, unless you're 15 years old and feel like gossiping. The opposite sex any time past 20 years old, when it's some other chick/guy and you're already in a committed relationship? Massive red flag. 1
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