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I fudgin' miss her :'( Ladies never leave a guy if he can't give u enough time!

macardent

By macardent
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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macardent Established Member

macardent

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I am crying my ass off. what kinda man am I? wth!! the girl hates me. I called her I ****ING DID!! I didn't beg I wanted closure. I told her i'll hate her for life, I didn't even wana have a relationship I loved my life. You ****ed me up, u made me a ****ed up person. She cried and said "I never told you this but there were somethings I didn't like about the relationship like you were always busy and would hardly give me anytime! but I liked you so I wanted it to work. I know I moved too fast, you weren't ready, I wanted you to meet my sisters! but you ****ed up! ( I broke up with her for 3 minutes) and please STOP LAUGHING (I WAS CRYING THE WHOLE TIME SHE THOUGHT I WAS ****ING LAUGHING EVERY SINGLE TIME WE TALKED ON THE PHONE) I HATE YOU, I ****ING SPIT ON YOUR FACE</3":lmao: and she hung up. :lmao:

 

I was busy because I wanted to make something of my self so she didn't have to feel embarrassed when people asked her what I do. I am only 22 years old. And when I have my own business starting up like freaking today! she left. (I didn't tell her about this). I told her I dont even know why I call you and say **** and I feel bad afterwards change your number! actually I will delete your number so I wont call again. She said "Please Do, I only talk to you because I know you are hurt and i have been there".

 

She doesn't even admit that I was a rebound. She said crying that she was sincere with me the whole time!

 

I ****ing hate my self! I was a player once.. I was able to convince every girl that I loved her. But the girl I actually loved! did not believe me.. like what the ****in hell! And I ****ed up called her names to prove her right!

 

I don't know how to man up. I really really really want her back in my life. Maybe ****in 4 years down the road. She convinced me that I have mood swings. I think I freaking do.

 

In the end I left her a text saying.

 

"I am deleting your number. I have my mood swings, you are right! And My life is a ****ing mess right now. I am ****ed up!! I have to fix my self up. I really did love you. Thank you for the wonderful 7 months... and I wasn't laughing I was crying the whole time. I am deleting your number right after this so that my last words to you were that I am sorry!"

 

I ****ing love this girl I have never cried this much in my whole life - I was soooo happy being single and not getting attached with anyone- .

 

I been a winner all my life, I failed as lover!!!. I wish there was something I could do or say to fix this ****. But there aint nothing I can do!!.. Nothing whatsoever!!

 

Someone on the forums said, I need a serious wakeup call. I got that yesterday!! I ****ing know I am wrong and that there was something wrong with me.. I never gave her time. Never gave her my ****ing time!.. thats all she asked for.. to prove her my love!! I unblocked her on facebook, saw her picture she looks so pretty and so effin happy without me :'(

 

Wilsonx was right! she wouldn't leave if I was perfect. Even if she is in another guys arm right now, I have nobody but myself to blame for it! I freaking do :(..

 

I still have hope idk why. My gut says this is the woman i will marry one day!

 

I LOVE YOU GUYS! YOU BEEN A BIG SUPPORT!! Seriously! I check this thing more than facebook.

 

I THINK I AM BI-POLAR!!

Edited by macardent
HollyBolly Established Member

HollyBolly

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Have you slept since yesterday?

lalalandman Established Member

lalalandman

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You need to seriously relax. You're panicking. Do you have friends or other support? Any outlets for this pent up energy like the gym, running, anything. You honestly need to come down from this state you're in. I don't think semantics is going to help you right now. Take 10 steps back. Then we can talk.

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macardent Established Member

macardent

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Have you slept since yesterday?

 

No :( I know I sound like an insane dbag

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macardent Established Member

macardent

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You need to seriously relax. You're panicking. Do you have friends or other support? Any outlets for this pent up energy like the gym, running, anything. You honestly need to come down from this state you're in. I don't think semantics is going to help you right now. Take 10 steps back. Then we can talk.

 

I have so many people who are willing to talk to me and are begging me to talk to thim about what's bothering me. But I cant tell people that I abused and cursed out the woman I loved.

 

Yeah I should really go out and have a walk or something. Or hit the gym maybe. I have been staying at my rents for the whole month didn't go to my apartment since it reminds me of her. My lease is expiring in 2 days I have to get my stuff out by tomorrow but I can't go

lalalandman Established Member

lalalandman

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Whenever you say the word "can't", get down and do 10 push ups.

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macardent Established Member

macardent

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Whenever you say the word "can't", get down and do 10 push ups.

 

That was helpful, I just did 10 pushups! Thanks pal

HollyBolly Established Member

HollyBolly

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No :( I know I sound like an insane dbag

 

No, you don't sound insane. You sound hurt and lost. Go for a walk and then try to get some sleep. After that, take care of what needs to be taken care of. You need to push on, my friend.

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macardent Established Member

macardent

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No, you don't sound insane. You sound hurt and lost. Go for a walk and then try to get some sleep. After that, take care of what needs to be taken care of. You need to push on, my friend.

 

You are right! I need to push on. I'm trying to get some sleep now.

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Comfortably Numb Member

Comfortably Numb

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We all make mistakes. If you decide to dwell on them, you will be consumed by sorrow,pain and totally lose sight of the future. Forgive yourself, you must come to terms and accept that mistakes happen. Use the negative energy for a greater good. To progress, and proceed into the direction you want to see yourself in the future.

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CaliBabe Established Member

CaliBabe

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Hey Macardent,

 

You said you were going to delete her number... Did you? Each time you contact her you are only hurting yourself. At this point you need to go NO CONTACT and try to heal. Do things for yourself. This is a very sensitive time for yourself and you need to really nuture yourself back to the real you. Please do yourself a favor and go NC.

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macardent Established Member

macardent

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Hey Macardent,

 

You said you were going to delete her number... Did you? Each time you contact her you are only hurting yourself. At this point you need to go NO CONTACT and try to heal. Do things for yourself. This is a very sensitive time for yourself and you need to really nuture yourself back to the real you. Please do yourself a favor and go NC.

 

I really deleted her number but it freaking cam back to me. I remembered it. I didn't even memorized it once. It was just in my head out of nowhere:(. Now I am hoping for it to go away. It hurts to know she is out grinding other guys ina club. And yes I am healing minute by minute. Staying NC even if she does call I will hangup.

wilsonx Established Member

wilsonx

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Look, you are young, you know what its like being a rebound and how to avoid it in the future. It sucks, everyone's done it.

 

You learn not to be a rebound by being a rebound. You aren't an idiot yet. If you do it again later in life say your late 30's 40's then you earn idiot status.

 

Don't do anything I would do such as egg her car or toilet paper her parents house if she lives with them. Have fun, be successful in your business and marry many many wives

TaraMaiden Established Member

TaraMaiden

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Oh good grief, I just saw this....! :rolleyes::mad:

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macardent Established Member

macardent

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Look, you are young, you know what its like being a rebound and how to avoid it in the future. It sucks, everyone's done it.

 

You learn not to be a rebound by being a rebound. You aren't an idiot yet. If you do it again later in life say your late 30's 40's then you earn idiot status.

 

Don't do anything I would do such as egg her car or toilet paper her parents house if she lives with them. Have fun, be successful in your business and marry many many wives

 

Lol yes thank you! I'll share the website name with you once its succesful going good so far. I guess part of the reason she left was because I was nothing in life cuz when I think back to what she was saying. Like no career or anything. Throughout my life I been inconstant at everything. Dropped out 3 times not because I failed but because I was unsure if that's what I want to do in life. This breakup was REALLY a wakeup call for me!.. I was running after damaged girls because I didn't have a proper career and that created an insecurity in me.. I felt good about fixing up damaged goods. Loll

 

Thanks all for your support!

And thank you WilsonX u the bro! Learned a lot from your posts. Thanks again.

DMS Established Member

DMS

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Don't do anything I would do such as egg her car or toilet paper her parents house if she lives with them.

 

I laughed pretty hard at this. Thanks Wilson

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