Courage Posted April 27, 2012 Posted April 27, 2012 The question I ask is the title.Also English is not my first language so I apologize if it's difficult to understand. I am a single mother, age 32. My husband passed away 3 years ago in a traffic accident. I just got out of a court battle where the other party of the accident sued against me, but I won the court. I am currently attending grad school. The past months (fall to now), I attended classes where I think there was a chemistry between my 45 year old married professor and me. oh before everybody goes oh God, NOOOO!!, I did NOT pursue this at all. The classes with the man are now over. The end. The prof was a blunt speaker, sometimes sounding even harsh. So the first class I was kind of scared. But because of court sessions that interfered with work and group projects I had to email/speak with him individually and surprisingly he was quite understanding. I was very grateful. Also maybe he was nice probably because I kept up the work. Never missed a class. Worked my butt off. Anyway at some point ongoing in the semester, I don't know how or why, but I started to feel ..something.. Like he would look at me long times in my eyes, and/or smile, and my heart would beat so loudly I could hear it almost right in my ears, and my stomach (and other parts I will not mention) would get this tingly fluttery feeling. It felt kind of great. I had not felt this in a long time. And he can speak so brashly (?) in class but when I would speak to him in private he would speak much softer and he always put his head to the side (I noticed this cuz he did it every time at the same angle. Kind of weird) and his face got slightly red while we spoke. And people in the class said he was an arrogant jerk etc and never responded to their emails, but he always responded to mine. And sometimes in his replies he would say on a particular day my face looked brighter, did the court session go well? stuff along those lines. Perhaps I was reading into it too much? But I cannot explain why it felt so weird in the air whenever we looked at each other and sometimes when he thought I wasn't looking he would glance at me. Or when we saw each other in the hall and he was talking to someone he was looking at me while he was talking to him/her. And whenever I smiled and said hello he would get those red cheeks again and smile back and get sort of fidgety. And that made me blush so I would hurriedly go away. Well, at least even if I made up a whole fantasy it helped me to do well and reignite my motivation. Legit A plus. Got encouragd enough to speak up in class too, which I am terrified of doing. But regardless, just in case, if there was something, I do not want to be immoral. He is married. With family! So I don't intend to contact him again even if I have further questions on the material. Hopefully this is the right thing to do. It's just the "feel" that I have. ahh..how can I explain this more clearly? ah!! I don't know if anyone can understand this feeling? And if this is an instinct I can trust and if it was perhaps mutual? But because off-limits, tense? Or all just in my head b/c of my situation? Just curious is all, in hindsight.You can be honest as can be, please. Thank you very much. And on with my life.
sid3 Posted April 27, 2012 Posted April 27, 2012 He liked flirting with you. He obviously found you attractive. He sounds creepy to me.
Eternal Sunshine Posted April 27, 2012 Posted April 27, 2012 Flirting is just flirting. It doesn't mean he gave you much thought besides "yeah I would bang her".
Author Courage Posted April 27, 2012 Author Posted April 27, 2012 Wow, replies here are fast. Well, I suppose then there was some flirting going on if not anything more. I didn't want to think I was trying to see things that weren't there. Looks lmy intuition was giving out the right signals. I obviously didn't find him creepy since he made me feel all good and school girly all over again. But to his his own. Thank you for the prompt replies. Good day!
Recommended Posts