It really is about the looks...

[Dafa]

Yes, it is about the looks, but not quite how you describe it.

 

We (men and women) all form opinions of each other (male or female) within seconds of meeting. We decide not just on physical attraction but also on whether we think the other person is intelligent, their level of education, whether they are happy/sad, uptight/easy going, income level, nice guy/girl, player/slut (funny how the promiscuous man gets a less derogatory title!), and any other quality that is important to our own value system.

 

It takes seconds, not minutes, for each of us to form our opinion and we do it entirely subconsciously.

 

When it comes to sexual attraction there are usually three gut reactions:

 

1) Yes I would have sex with this person - instant physical chemistry

2) No I would never have sex with this person - instant physical turn-off

3) I might have sex with this person if they have the qualities I am looking for in a parter - little or no instant physical chemistry but not turned off.

 

So, yes, it's sort of about the looks but it's not about someone being 'hot'.

 

This.

 

Hasn't this been discussing ad nauseaum already? What is your point Frustrated Standards? An epiphany about the obvious?

[Bob_Funk]

I'll go a step further and say that for any guy less than an 8, the bar scene isn't for you. If you're merely a 7, even chubby 5's won't have you.

 

My advice to most single guys: either stick to porn and escorts or use every dirty trick in the book to jack your looks rating up to an 8 or higher. For example, I'm saving money to get jaw augmentation and maxilla shortening. Steroids aren't out of the question either, even though I already have a good body.

 

I must say, I never thought I'd have to go to these extremes just to get an average girl.

Edited April 27, 2012 by Bob_Funk

[Joaquin]

Totally agree.

 

In a night scene the guys only really have a chance with girls who are lower on the attractiveness scale. I have always got much better looking girls through work or through friends where you get longer than a few minutes to make an impact. In the night scene I have only managed to get with girls who would be considered less attractive to me.

 

I've known this years, and so don't the night scene too seriously. It is what it is.

[FitChick]

That's why I think unattractive men might have better results with online dating where they can express their personality (if they have one). In a cold approach, you are only going by looks.

[jobaba]

Yes, it is about the looks, but not quite how you describe it.

 

We (men and women) all form opinions of each other (male or female) within seconds of meeting. We decide not just on physical attraction but also on whether we think the other person is intelligent, their level of education, whether they are happy/sad, uptight/easy going, income level, nice guy/girl, player/slut (funny how the promiscuous man gets a less derogatory title!), and any other quality that is important to our own value system.

 

It takes seconds, not minutes, for each of us to form our opinion and we do it entirely subconsciously.

 

When it comes to sexual attraction there are usually three gut reactions:

 

1) Yes I would have sex with this person - instant physical chemistry

2) No I would never have sex with this person - instant physical turn-off

3) I might have sex with this person if they have the qualities I am looking for in a parter - little or no instant physical chemistry but not turned off.

 

So, yes, it's sort of about the looks but it's not about someone being 'hot'.

 

That's just you. I don't form opinions of people that quickly and harshly.

 

And I definitely don't categorize women into whether I'll have sex with them right away or not.

 

They are just a person I'm talking to and a person I know until something about them grabs my interest.

[Joaquin]

That's why I think unattractive men might have better results with online dating where they can express their personality (if they have one). In a cold approach, you are only going by looks.

 

Well online has it's own problems.

 

I don't think personality get expressed in writing.

[zengirl]

First impressions, with little other data, are heavily weighted towards looks and other seen traits (style), but I think approach matters a lot. I've turned down many an attractive man --- even plenty I, personally, found physically attractive --- because they repelled me in some other way.

 

Of course, if you're good looking, cold-approaching will be easier, and if you're not, it will be harder. That's just reality. But to think it's all that matters. . . from experience, I disagree.

[Surfer203]

Bob Funk... that's sad that you have to have surgery to get women. hahaha why don't you work on your personality a bit - you clearly come off as an arrogant person, chicks don't like that.

[Joaquin]

I was out in group the other night and the best looking guy who is a decent fella has the chat etc and who I have to say get loads of girls who would be 7's turned and said to me no way would he go for the hottest girls in the club. He said f&&& that. It's a waste of time.

[Joaquin]

I was out in group the other night and the best looking guy who is a decent fella has the chat etc and who I have to say get loads of girls who would be 7's turned and said to me no way would he go for the hottest girls in the club. He said f&&& that. It's a waste of time.

 

Maybe the secret is to go for the girls who are 10's sinceno one is chatting to them.... Omg.... Lads, go for the 10's....

[FitChick]

For example, I'm saving money to get jaw augmentation and maxilla shortening.

 

I had never heard of this procedure but found this information which you might find helpful. Surgeons who do this procedure give their opinions.

[matte123]

In my experience, I don't find this to be true. The only time a guy would be creepy if he doesn't take no for an answer or make some lewd sexual comment. Among my male friends, the ones who are charismatic have the most luck with approaching women and they ranged from below average to above average in looks.

[Joaquin]

In my experience, I don't find this to be true. The only time a guy would be creepy if he doesn't take no for an answer or make some lewd sexual comment. Among my male friends, the ones who are charismatic have the most luck with approaching women and they ranged from below average to above average in looks.

 

But were the girls they got less attractive than them? Be honest.

[matte123]

But were the girls they got less attractive than them? Be honest.

 

Nope. Most of the girls are on the same attractiveness scale as the men and a few were better looking than the men

[Joaquin]

Nope. Most of the girls are on the same attractiveness scale as the men and a few were better looking than the men

 

Fair enough. I'm presuming these girls were otherwise unknown to your mates.

 

It's a tough one though as I'm always miserable unless I'm with a girl who is better looking than me. But that's another thread I suppose....

[Imported]

That's just you. I don't form opinions of people that quickly and harshly.

 

And I definitely don't categorize women into whether I'll have sex with them right away or not.

 

They are just a person I'm talking to and a person I know until something about them grabs my interest.

 

 

Reading your comment, this image comes to my mind

 

 

Might not be true in your case, but usually I only hear stuff like this from people that don't really have much choice in the matter.

 

Personally, I know from site what girl I'd never have sex with. Nothing wrong with it, not deluding myself into thinking I'd be with a girl I don't find physically appealing even if she has a nice personality. My friends have nice personalities too and a couple of them are gay, doesn't mean I'd be anything but a friend to them.

[Mme. Chaucer]

When a man approaches, it really doesn't manner how or where he does it.

 

It's about the looks.

 

Think about it. If an ugly guy comes up to woman and says "i'm interested" he will automatically be a creep, or a loser. If a hot guy does the exact same thing, he will be brave and masculine.

 

Looks are the most important during an approach or initial encounter. After all, it's your looks that you advertise and show off when you look for a partner. That's your starting point. Later on you determine whether or not the person you chose suits your other wants (personality and sex).

 

It's not about how you approach, what you say or where you say it (aside from the extremes of course ie: rudeness, disrespect etc). It's about how hot you are that will determine if you get the girl or not.

 

END NOTE: This applies more to approaching strangers, not friends or colleagues whom you already somewhat know.

 

ADD: By "get the girl" I mean initially while approaching.

 

You know … sometimes I really think you are a guy in drag.

[Mme. Chaucer]

Yes it is all about looks. So you shouldn't complain about guys not approaching you. How is a guy supposed to read your mind to know if he is attractive enough for you?

 

 

And … if you're right, and it IS all about looks, then guys don't approach you simply because you don't look good to them. Mystery solved.

[dasein]

Agree with OP. No idea why she gets so much heat here given the quality of many threads here. It's a totally legit thread.

[jobaba]

Reading your comment, this image comes to my mind

 

 

Might not be true in your case, but usually I only hear stuff like this from people that don't really have much choice in the matter.

 

Personally, I know from site what girl I'd never have sex with. Nothing wrong with it, not deluding myself into thinking I'd be with a girl I don't find physically appealing even if she has a nice personality. My friends have nice personalities too and a couple of them are gay, doesn't mean I'd be anything but a friend to them.

 

Maybe. I probably am ugly. I don't think so. Others might.

 

But I've been non-shallow as long as I can remember. Seriously, I can't remember thinking of any women as really ugly or unattractive as far back as I can remember. Think 5th or 6th grade.

 

Also ... big thing.

 

I don't care about looks but I get decent looking girls. PM me and I'll consider sending you a pic of my last girlfriend.

[LittleTiger]

That's just you. I don't form opinions of people that quickly and harshly.

 

And I definitely don't categorize women into whether I'll have sex with them right away or not.

 

They are just a person I'm talking to and a person I know until something about them grabs my interest.

 

No it isn't just me - it's humans. It is how science currently understands our brains to work at a first meeting of another of our species. It isn't harsh and we can't help it. Biology designed subconscious 'judging' as a protection mechanism - to determine friend from enemy 'instantly'.

 

Our opinion might change on further investigation but we will form an opinion in the first few seconds whether we are conscious of it or not.

 

The 3 options regarding sexual attraction are my 'definition' but, again, it is widely accepted that we make a decision within the first few seconds. Nobody consciously categorises someone in that way (although I'd bet most people are very aware when they find someone drop dead gorgeous) but, nevertheless, we all make the decision pretty much on the spot without being aware of it.

 

It's nothing to be ashamed off, it's just part of how our brains work.

[matte123]

It's a tough one though as I'm always miserable unless I'm with a girl who is better looking than me. But that's another thread I suppose....

 

Are you competitive with other men? Is that why you want a better looking girl? It might be helpful to remind yourself that perception of beauty varies from person to person and that beauty will fade over time. If you can't get over that issue, you can just approach really attractive women that most men are too intimidated to approach.

[jobaba]

 

The 3 options regarding sexual attraction are my 'definition' but, again, it is widely accepted that we make a decision within the first few seconds. Nobody consciously categorises someone in that way (although I'd bet most people are very aware when they find someone drop dead gorgeous) but, nevertheless, we all make the decision pretty much on the spot without being aware of it.

 

Not a chance man (or lady).

 

I've seen a woman one day and she looked frumpy. Then she came back the next day with her hair all done and highlighted and she looked hot.

 

Also, the intense attraction for a woman I've ever had in my life was for a woman I didn't have that much initial attraction to.

 

I mean understand most people use the 5 second rule ... but I never have.

[Million.to.1]

Just out of curiosity:

 

Question: Women of Loveshack that are familiar with my writing style; given what you know and have learned over time in regards to my writing style, how would you rate my looks?

 

If you looked like your writing style then I would say sharp, conventional and serious.

 

(and by sharp i mean, tidy, clean cut, stylish. )

[Joaquin]

Just out of curiosity:

 

Question: Women of Loveshack that are familiar with my writing style; given what you know and have learned over time in regards to my writing style, how would you rate my looks?

 

In regards to your writing style I'd say your uptight. But a nice guy. Lookwise, Id say your a handsome devil...