TheFinalWord Posted April 28, 2012 Posted April 28, 2012 I cant stand this guy! hes horrible i wish i could just zap his existence off the planet. Fred doesn't even drink that much and whenever they go out he ends up getting hammered. Well, I wanted to make sure I wasn't emphasizing a negative about your new bf, but it seems other agree with me. You shouldn't have to blast him out of existence, your bf should not want anything to do with him. I think it is REALLY lame for your new bf to hang out with a guy talks trash about you. "Pump and dump", to be honest if someone said that to me about my gf (if I had one) I'd knock his lights out! This guy basically called you a S-L*-T. I would not tolerate that. I probably wouldn't hit him, but there is no way I would hang out with him anymore. If you look at it this guy only "exists" b/c your bf hangs out with him. Otherwise your paths never interact. Sorry, b/c I really want you to find a nice guy. I don't want to taint this new bf, but if a guy doesn't respect his girl's honor, he's not a man in my book! Please guard your heart and don't fall for this guy too fast. 1
Author eleanorhurting Posted April 28, 2012 Author Posted April 28, 2012 Well, I wanted to make sure I wasn't emphasizing a negative about your new bf, but it seems other agree with me. You shouldn't have to blast him out of existence, your bf should not want anything to do with him. I think it is REALLY lame for your new bf to hang out with a guy talks trash about you. "Pump and dump", to be honest if someone said that to me about my gf (if I had one) I'd knock his lights out! This guy basically called you a S-L*-T. I would not tolerate that. I probably wouldn't hit him, but there is no way I would hang out with him anymore. If you look at it this guy only "exists" b/c your bf hangs out with him. Otherwise your paths never interact. Sorry, b/c I really want you to find a nice guy. I don't want to taint this new bf, but if a guy doesn't respect his girl's honor, he's not a man in my book! Please guard your heart and don't fall for this guy too fast. If there is a nice guy out there who will want a cheating slut
fortyninethousand322 Posted April 28, 2012 Posted April 28, 2012 If there is a nice guy out there who will want a cheating slut I'm no expert on these things, but it seems like you're way too hard on yourself.
Ruby Slippers Posted April 28, 2012 Posted April 28, 2012 Sounds like Fred doesn't give a flip about your past and really likes you. I suggest you not worry about it, either. This is a new relationship, with new possibilities. Screw judgmental people. I'm sure they've made mistakes before, too. 1
TheFinalWord Posted April 28, 2012 Posted April 28, 2012 If there is a nice guy out there who will want a cheating slut You're not! I know you said before you believe in God If God has forgiven you, what human can still be your judge!? You're free, don't let another human hold you in captivity. Maybe this guy will see that, maybe not, but either way you have to know it for yourself Book of John - The Woman Caught in Adultery (8:1-11) ESV - YouTube
veggirl Posted April 28, 2012 Posted April 28, 2012 Why did Fred even tell you what the other guy said? I don't like that. Of course it would hurt your feelings and make you feel upset. The only reason to tell you (other than to hurt your feelings, which I don't think was his intention at all) is to feel you out about the situation, get the scoop, see how you react...which means it wasn't nothing to him and that he was thinking about it. I don't think that's a great sign. I'd be worried, what else did this guy tell Fred? Did he tell Fred you got attached, or that you were dramatic afterwards? The thing is, there has already been more serious / what-is-this conversations in this relationship than I think is good for so early on--and this is just one more. You're obviously not a cheating slut. Okay you cheated once in your past--honestly, depending on circumstances and when it was, I'm not sure that is any of Fred's business anyway. I cheated once when I was like 22 (7 yrs ago). Once. I don't disclose that because it doesn't matter anymore. If someone asked me "have you ever" then yeah I would be truthful, but IDK, current BF never asked, I never asked him either.
mortensorchid Posted April 28, 2012 Posted April 28, 2012 The Past is the past. Period. We've all had our share of those who lied, cheated and did the pump and dump, I don't care who you are. But the question is this: Is it going to haunt you? And is it going to haunt you for the rest of your life so it can and will taint whoever and whatever you do now? If the answer is yes, then you have some serious issues that cannot be worked out without professional help. If the answer is no, then you have to go forth with a semi solid hope for the future and go into every new situation (this new guy) with hope. Because all you have, in the end, is hope. There's no reason to bring up the past, move on from it and go forth with this new person with hope.
xxoo Posted April 28, 2012 Posted April 28, 2012 If there is a nice guy out there who will want a cheating slut eleanor, do you have strong, supportive girlfriends? If I were sitting with you right now, I'd look you in the eye and tell you to NEVER speak about yourself that way again. I know you have regrets. We all do. Know better, do better. Chin up! 2
Author eleanorhurting Posted May 5, 2012 Author Posted May 5, 2012 eleanor, do you have strong, supportive girlfriends? If I were sitting with you right now, I'd look you in the eye and tell you to NEVER speak about yourself that way again. I know you have regrets. We all do. Know better, do better. Chin up! I do. They have been so supportive through everything. I guess I am my own worst enemy.
Author eleanorhurting Posted May 5, 2012 Author Posted May 5, 2012 Well the whole thing died down. I decided to let it go and Fred was great about it. We also had the making it official talk and on Tuesday May 1st we decided to officially become boyfriend and girlfriend. He has been great I think the whole thing is what finally made us decide that we liked each other enough and cared enough to ignore what anyone else thinks. He hasn't seen the a-hole guy since the incident. Im sure he will be around again but I don't care anymore. We are also out of the closet. No longer keeping our relationship on the down low (but also not making a huge deal out of it, just not hiding it anymore). Well I'm pretty happy he's pretty great I feel like all those little bumps in the beginning were mostly my insecurity and they're gone. I feel like I can relax and just be myself. 2
louise_23 Posted May 5, 2012 Posted May 5, 2012 Fred is not friends with the person who pumped and dumped me. he has recently been hanging out with someone who is friends with the guy who pumped and dumped. and the way this guy is twisting it around is that i was the one who is horny and just likes to have sex with men which is completely the opposite of what happened overusing the pump and dump phrase. its vulgar and so derogatory. just say he played you or something.
Author eleanorhurting Posted May 5, 2012 Author Posted May 5, 2012 Um yeah the whole pump and dump thing, don't play victim, no one held a gun to your head. You have to take responsibility for your past. It seems like you are take the passive aggressive way of dealing with this with Fred. People who know your past the choices you made like cheating and having one nighters will warn others, thats human nature. It is up to Fred now whether he wants to get involved with someone like you and keep his dignity. I have never in my life had a one night stand first of all I don't know where you got that from. And if I did, its in the past. I would not judge someone because they had a one night stand in the past. And maybe you did not read what I wrote but he did choose to be with "someone like me". Someone who is smart, kind, caring and who made mistakes but learned from them. I guess he will loose his "dignity" now. I would rather loose my dignity being with "someone like me" than being with someone who rides his or her moral high horse and thinks that people are incapable of change. Its amazing how when you have something positive to share people feel the need to rain on your parade!
Recommended Posts