Author Looknfoward Posted May 2, 2012 Author Posted May 2, 2012 Well honestly not good, I missed her like crazy. Sunday morning I picked up my daughter. I keep her 3 days. Well Sunday night we texted back and forth. I should of never responded but I did. Ended up dropping my daughter off that night, due to a Dr. appt the next morning. The next day my W texted me that she cooked for me, if I wanted to come over. I did go over, but we had a huge fight. Mostly me, I feel so angry sometimes. I don't call her names, but she says I throw her A in her face alot. Another thing is that she was weird. She had that type of attitude that she doesn't really care. She said, its cuz I keep bringing up the affair when we do speak. I found out she reactivated her FB and she contacted 2 girls that she had cutoff due to them always taking her out and knowing about the affair. They are old coworkers and they met OM and would ask about him, like he was her husband. I asked why she contacted them again. She said, she is lonely and bored since I am not living there. These girls texted her Saturday and were inviting her to a VIP hotel party. The main girl texted, ”where are you, these guys are rich”. My wife says these girls don't influence her but c'mon. I spent the night with her. She says she wants to work it out and that she knows it takes time ,but these girls are back in the picture and I know its trouble. I realized I'm not ready for divorce. I have the papers but I can't file. I want to get over her. I don't even know why, it bothers me that she can get over it so fast. I want to move foward and not care. I wish I could go strict NC but of course its impossible with out daughter. I don't even blame her because its me who can't get over her, but because I don't love, its because I think its best. She claims she gets sad, but the fact that she contacted these girls tells me that's pretty much a lie. I need to move foward with the divorce but I can't. Why do I want to believe she wants to work it out? Why is it that I focus on her saying she wants to work on it now abd dont focus on her lies? I am causing,my own stress.
Furious Posted May 2, 2012 Posted May 2, 2012 Your wife needs to understand, if she truly wants to reconcile she cannot be friends who not a friends to your marriage.
Furious Posted May 2, 2012 Posted May 2, 2012 Your wife needs to understand, if she truly wants to reconcile she cannot be friends with people who not a friend to your marriage.
Bryanp Posted May 2, 2012 Posted May 2, 2012 You would have to be a masochist to stay with her. Her actions show that not only does she not have any respect for you whatsoever but clearly did not care if she put you at risk for STD's. If you don't respect yourself the who will? Good luck.
BigLiam Posted May 2, 2012 Posted May 2, 2012 Looknfoward you are a stand up man. And, apparently a "good ol' boy". Y'all come back, now. Ya hear?
speedster Posted May 5, 2012 Posted May 5, 2012 do yourself the biggest favor ever and file. you'll feel fantastic.
Untouchable_Fire Posted May 7, 2012 Posted May 7, 2012 I don't call her names, but she says I throw her A in her face alot. Another thing is that she was weird. She had that type of attitude that she doesn't really care. She said, its cuz I keep bringing up the affair when we do speak. I found out she reactivated her FB and she contacted 2 girls that she had cutoff due to them always taking her out and knowing about the affair. They are old coworkers and they met OM and would ask about him, like he was her husband. I asked why she contacted them again. She said, she is lonely and bored since I am not living there. These girls texted her Saturday and were inviting her to a VIP hotel party. The main girl texted, ”where are you, these guys are rich”. My wife says these girls don't influence her but c'mon. I spent the night with her. She says she wants to work it out and that she knows it takes time ,but these girls are back in the picture and I know its trouble. I realized I'm not ready for divorce. I have the papers but I can't file. I want to get over her. I don't even know why, it bothers me that she can get over it so fast. I want to move foward and not care. I wish I could go strict NC but of course its impossible with out daughter. I don't even blame her because its me who can't get over her, but because I don't love, its because I think its best. She claims she gets sad, but the fact that she contacted these girls tells me that's pretty much a lie. I need to move foward with the divorce but I can't. Why do I want to believe she wants to work it out? Why is it that I focus on her saying she wants to work on it now abd dont focus on her lies? I am causing,my own stress. Sorry to hear what your going through... but I've been there already. Here is what I think is going on. First, she wants to make you feel as though your anger over the affair is invalid, so she blames the fact that she is acting indifferent on that. It isn't true. To her... you represent plan B. So long as you continue to exist as a safety net, she can continue to walk that tightrope. Once you are gone she will have to find some other schmuck to fulfill that role. She is looking for a new guy. When she finds him, she will leave you in the dust completely. All of her actions are telling you this. She doesn't love you anymore... she wants someone else... and wants you to stick around until she finds him. Telling you that she is back in contact with these friends is basically emotional blackmail. She is saying that you had better do as she wants or she will hurt you again. She wants you to know how fun her life can be without you, and how desirable other men find her. Bottom line... if you eventually want her back... you need to file the divorce papers fast. You need to show her your strength, independence, and confidence. She seems to be moving on fast because you are acting like a crap guy. If she can't respect you, then she can't love you. The moment you stand up to her and show your serious... she will start to rethink her actions. 1
Bryanp Posted May 8, 2012 Posted May 8, 2012 She is back with these girls who are looking for rich guys and invite her to VIP parties in hotels to meet them. You are the fall back guy until she can meet some rich guy. These are not the actions of a remorseful wife who goes back to friendship with people who are toxic to the marriage. What is wrong with this picture? I am sorry but she is playing you for a fool. You judge a person by their actions and not by their words and her actions speak volumes. If the roles were reversed your wife would never put up with such continued humiliation and disrespect from you. I guess you will have to learn the hard way again and hopefully not catch an STD. If you do not respect yourself then who will?
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