Jump to content

Random sex

Dragonsden

By Dragonsden
in Coping

 Share
While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

Recommended Posts

Dragonsden Member

Dragonsden

Posted
Posted

Does it help get over your ex or is it a temporary fix if any at all?

I have found out it in the past the quickest way for me to get over someone is to start dating someone better but this time I took the high road. Its been over five months since the BU and over 3 months NC. I have not made any attempts to date anyone. But I have been wondering the so topic.

CarrieT Established Member

CarrieT

Posted
Posted

Didn't work for me when I tried it (dozens of times)... :(

Motor35 Established Member

Motor35

Posted
Posted

i will let you know after this weekend....:o

DuchessKaye Established Member

DuchessKaye

Posted
Posted
Does it help get over your ex or is it a temporary fix if any at all?

I have found out it in the past the quickest way for me to get over someone is to start dating someone better but this time I took the high road. Its been over five months since the BU and over 3 months NC. I have not made any attempts to date anyone. But I have been wondering the so topic.

 

It worked for me :)

robkris8079 Established Member

robkris8079

Posted
Posted

I was 1 month BU and met a girl. I slept with her and it didn't get me down, depressed, or set me back in anyway. I feel good about it actually. Your ex is probably sleeping with someone else too so why the hell not :D.

 

I did tell this girl about the ex, I was looking for friendship, and didn't care if she went out with other people. So not like I'm just out there ruining womens hearts. My past relationship taight me to be open, honest, say what I feel, how I'm thinking, and most of all how to walk away with my head high.

 

Also my ex i was with for over 5 years and lived together. I loved her with all of my being. She was the women I wanted to marry, have a family with and grow old together.

Mr Scorpio Established Member

Mr Scorpio

Posted
Posted
Didn't work for me when I tried it (dozens of times)... :(

 

Well, at least you can take solace in the ability that you were able to attract that many people!

Philosoraptor Established Member

Philosoraptor

Posted
Posted
Does it help get over your ex or is it a temporary fix if any at all?

I have found out it in the past the quickest way for me to get over someone is to start dating someone better but this time I took the high road. Its been over five months since the BU and over 3 months NC. I have not made any attempts to date anyone. But I have been wondering the so topic.

It depends on how you are wired and how much of a connection you had with your ex. For many it is quite empty and leaves them craving the emotional connection with the ex that they surely didn't get from this random person.

  • Like 1
robkris8079 Established Member

robkris8079

Posted
Posted
It depends on how you are wired and how much of a connection you had with your ex. For many it is quite empty and leaves them craving the emotional connection with the ex that they surely didn't get from this random person.

 

I was connected to my ex in a way words can not describe. I truly loved her with all of my heart. But "us" is something she didn't want anymore. Sure I can sit around and dwell on it, be sad, not experience new things or people until I'm 100% over her. Or I can just have fun, live my life, do things I want to do (even people), and keep on moving forward. Like I said I have no regrets about sleeping with this girl at all. It didn't set me back at all. Didn't make me miss or think about the ex at all.

 

Then again this will be different for everyone. Some would take sleeping with someone other then the ex very differently. This is just my experience.

 

Usually I'm a take it slow guy. I mean my "number" is very low as I usually have been in very long term relationships. But now I'm very open and honest with people and if that leads to sex and I want to then I just do it.

Philosoraptor Established Member

Philosoraptor

Posted
Posted
I was connected to my ex in a way words can not describe. I truly loved her with all of my heart. But "us" is something she didn't want anymore. Sure I can sit around and dwell on it, be sad, not experience new things or people until I'm 100% over her. Or I can just have fun, live my life, do things I want to do (even people), and keep on moving forward. Like I said I have no regrets about sleeping with this girl at all. It didn't set me back at all. Didn't make me miss or think about the ex at all.

 

Then again this will be different for everyone. Some would take sleeping with someone other then the ex very differently. This is just my experience.

 

Usually I'm a take it slow guy. I mean my "number" is very low as I usually have been in very long term relationships. But now I'm very open and honest with people and if that leads to sex and I want to then I just do it.

That brings up another point... intention. If you've accepted things it is much different than those who use it as a path of avoidance.

CarrieT Established Member

CarrieT

Posted
Posted
Well, at least you can take solace in the ability that you were able to attract that many people!

 

Not something I am especially proud of, actually.

 

I'm a large-breasted woman and there are a lot of skanky men out there who are desperate. It isn't difficult for women to get laid...

Eternal Sunshine Established Member

Eternal Sunshine

Posted
Posted

Any woman can swing her handbag and hit 10 guys willing to sleep with her...

  • Like 1
Eternal Sunshine Established Member

Eternal Sunshine

Posted
Posted

On topic... it doesn't totally work.

 

For me; for this to work I would have to connect with the new person better than I did with ex. If the connection is not quite there (and usually it's not) - it makes me crave what I had with the ex even more.

  • Like 1
health Established Member

health

Posted
Posted

In my experience - sleeping with a girl just to get rid of the pain is no different from watching a porn flick or going to a strip club.

 

If the connection is not there, it's meaningless and unfulfilling to me.

 

I'm not looking to rack up my number of people I've slept with, as I don'

t want to find a girl who did the same.

 

You attract what you are essentially.

 

Once I slept with this girl I didn't like and I knew she's been around. It was one of the most disgusting things I've ever been through bleh, never again.

 

I'm just graetful I've had passionate, connected, intimate and pure sex.

 

I'm not about to lower my standards. :)

BewitchedandBothered Established Member

BewitchedandBothered

Posted
Posted

that's just using someone and you are also being used. Then it's over in a few minutes and you are left feeling empty and probably missing the ex even more.

health Established Member

health

Posted
Posted

BewitchedandBothered - I agree with you 100%, because that's whjat happend to me. It may be different for other people and that's fine. I know it doesn't work for me. I think it's just a quick fix to a deeper problem.

  • Like 1
BewitchedandBothered Established Member

BewitchedandBothered

Posted
Posted
BewitchedandBothered - I agree with you 100%, because that's whjat happend to me. It may be different for other people and that's fine. I know it doesn't work for me. I think it's just a quick fix to a deeper problem.

 

I never understood random sex/one night stands anyway. Just not how I am wired; I need to care very deeply for someone if I am going to give myself to them----and they have to care for me as well. It's best to just go the journey alone and discover oneself along the way. There are folks who feel they need someone and are afraid to be alone. Can't quite understand that, either. Having your own headspace is a good thing if people would only allow it to happen.

xenomorph Established Member

xenomorph

Posted
Posted

When i was in my early twenties, sure, casual sex sounded like a great idea! (protected, responsible casual sex, of course!) It was sparse, but it was the thrill of the hunt and chase were the bulk of it.

 

Now in my early thirties, I my libido and sex drive are three times what they were when i was in my early twenties, but with heartbreak in tow, I'm just not that interested at the moment in casual sex. I have gone on a couple dates, but nothing serious, and they don't even register in my day to day thoughts. I guess a part of me wouldn't mind finding a "friends with benefits" situation, but I have bigger things on my mind. I can fulfill my sexual needs on my own, that's always been true, and I think it is wiser of me to lay low on the sex hunt for now while I heal and deal with everything else the world seems to be tossing at me at the moment (when it rains, it pours!)

 

TL;DR: Casual sex is a low priority at the moment, but dating is nice.

 

If all you have is heartbreak in tow, dating and casual intimacy is not a bad idea :)

 Share
Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...