dannym1982 Posted April 26, 2012 Posted April 26, 2012 My fiance who I 've been with over 2 years and I are getting married in April 2013. We moved into our new apartment last month. We also just found today we are expecting our first child. Things are moving along rather quickly. I was wondering what your thoughts/experiences are with opening a joint bank account with your significant other. Obviously this question geared toward people more serious stage of relationships such as mine like marriage and children. We both have stable jobs and basically make identical salaries so it's not like one of makes a lot more than the other. I'm the one who suggested since we're a couple I felt it would make things easier to have all our money in one account. After paying for our wedding I have about $10,000 saved and she has about $5,000 saved to put into this joint account. Any insight very welcome.
january2011 Posted April 26, 2012 Posted April 26, 2012 I like the three-accounts model: one joint account for household and joint expenses plus individual account(s) for each person. However, I think that what's most important is that whatever you decide, you both agree on it. Money can be such a sensitive issue between couples, especially if one partner becomes a stay-at-home and is reliant on the income of the other partner.
Author dannym1982 Posted April 27, 2012 Author Posted April 27, 2012 I like the three-accounts model: one joint account for household and joint expenses plus individual account(s) for each person. However, I think that what's most important is that whatever you decide, you both agree on it. Money can be such a sensitive issue between couples, especially if one partner becomes a stay-at-home and is reliant on the income of the other partner. That's actually a pretty good idea. I like that one.
mostlyclueless Posted April 27, 2012 Posted April 27, 2012 We do the three accounts system, and the individual accounts are with the same bank, so we can transfer money instantaneously. No problems yet.
Philosoraptor Posted April 27, 2012 Posted April 27, 2012 I was in this situation a few years back. We went ahead and did it, then broke up. We also purcahsed a house together as well.. not fun. I'll personally not do anything like that again until I am legally married. Even though at this point everything seems like a sure thing, it's not. There is no legal tie and if something were to happen it would be that much harder to end it. But once you're married that tie is there anyways so there is no reason to have a shared account. If anything I'd go with the three account model right now if you want to share finances. It's much easier if something bad were to happen. Not saying anything will, and I hope nothing does... but you can't be sure until you sign on the dotted line. 1
zengirl Posted April 27, 2012 Posted April 27, 2012 Recently married here. We have a three-account model, plus separate 401Ks and I have some additional separate investments and he has some separate debts. All of our HH expenses come from the joint account, which we each pay in a % of our salaries AFTER paying personal bills/debts (hubby has a car payment and a student loan payment, but for me, this is just my current payments for my PhD coursework, but that is actually 1-to-1 from grant money, so basically my grants just don't go into the total). We have discussed it and worked out a plan so this % goes up over time, with a high point of 85% after 10 years of marriage (with the 15% separation mainly for being able to do things like buy Christmas gifts without ruining the surprise, etc). We may have to adjust these with HH expenses sometime in between. Currently, it's 60% that we put in, and that covers HH expenses and then some. It's a % of salary, so hubby puts in slightly more, even after his debts, because he makes a lot more. He also has slightly more in his account (well, theoretically -- he spends more, so not really). We each have personal accounts. I actually don't know what he has - savings & checking, I think. I have savings, checking, and Money Market that are mine. I also have some separate investments and savings I had before we married (I brought in about 60K in assets, outside of my 401K, and he brought in about 30K in debt, but had assets in the form of a 401K). Basically everything we do together comes out of the HH fund, unless one of us is treating or surprising the other for some occasion. We have to check it fairly often, and the tricky thing is knowing what he spent in real time, etc. We don't write checks or balance a checkbook. We can each transfer money into it easily, if we need to, so that's not difficult. HH supplies, toiletries (including my makeup & his shave cream etc) all come out of there. All the dog food and bills for his dog comes out of there. I have very little that comes out of my fund -- clothes, if I go shopping or something. If I go out with friends, I may use either of the cards. Same with hubby. We have enough money that there's plenty in the HH funds, so it gets used 'first' basically in most cases, unless we're really making major purchases, like a shopping spree or hubby buying new computer equipment. He'll buy a video game from the HH funds sometimes, and I'll buy small things from it too. Most of the money we spend day-to-day comes from there. We also keep a separate savings for a travel fund. It comes out of all 3 accounts, based on how much extra we have in a given month and where we want to go. All those decisions are made jointly. Tax refunds and any extra money always goes in there. For instance, I won $400 on a scratch off my grandma sent in the mail -- went straight to the travel fund. So does any 'surprise' money Hubby gets. All of this is based on the model my parents (Mom & Stepdad) showed me growing up. I think their accounts are all joint today, though, after so many years of marriage. They do have separate CCs for gifts, etc.
Ursa Posted April 27, 2012 Posted April 27, 2012 My husband and I have shared everything, except for the properties we owned separately before we married. We have children together, have bought property together, have joint bank and retirement accounts, shared investments. It works for us. I think the three-account system is fine, also, and works better for some people. I know of a few people who are very strict about separating everything 50/50, for their own reasons. It wouldn't sit right with me as I prefer more of a relaxed and trusting atmosphere, but presumably it works for them. On a side note, I notice that you are expecting a child now, but your wedding is still scheduled for one year from now. I comment only for purely practical considerations. You might want to consider moving the wedding up, if at all possible, as planning the final stages of a wedding or trying to have any kind of a honeymoon with a baby underfoot is brutal. Trust me, I know . My husband wanted to just move the wedding up, but I stubbornly didn't want to be a pregnant bride and I had an emotional attachment to the day we had planned the wedding for (our anniversary). If only I'd known then what I figured out after! I still loved my wedding of course as we were always planning to go small and casual, but the final days were even more stressful than they would have been ordinarily, and the honeymoon plans had to be completely scrapped and redone to something much less romantic and adventurous, and we ended up bringing our parents along with us as babysitters . Not exactly what I originally had in mind, but hey, my Mother-in-law loved it, and it was the only way we were going to get any alone time. Anyway, I just kind of wished somebody had pointed that out to me way back when so here I am, bringing up what's really none of my business.
TheFinalWord Posted April 27, 2012 Posted April 27, 2012 My fiance who I 've been with over 2 years and I are getting married in April 2013. We moved into our new apartment last month. We also just found today we are expecting our first child. Things are moving along rather quickly. I was wondering what your thoughts/experiences are with opening a joint bank account with your significant other. Obviously this question geared toward people more serious stage of relationships such as mine like marriage and children. We both have stable jobs and basically make identical salaries so it's not like one of makes a lot more than the other. I'm the one who suggested since we're a couple I felt it would make things easier to have all our money in one account. After paying for our wedding I have about $10,000 saved and she has about $5,000 saved to put into this joint account. Any insight very welcome. I wouldn't do it until I was married.
BewitchedandBothered Posted April 27, 2012 Posted April 27, 2012 My fiance who I 've been with over 2 years and I are getting married in April 2013. We moved into our new apartment last month. We also just found today we are expecting our first child. Things are moving along rather quickly. I was wondering what your thoughts/experiences are with opening a joint bank account with your significant other. Obviously this question geared toward people more serious stage of relationships such as mine like marriage and children. We both have stable jobs and basically make identical salaries so it's not like one of makes a lot more than the other. I'm the one who suggested since we're a couple I felt it would make things easier to have all our money in one account. After paying for our wedding I have about $10,000 saved and she has about $5,000 saved to put into this joint account. Any insight very welcome. Don't share a freaking thing until you are married.
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