Kaplan Posted April 26, 2012 Posted April 26, 2012 I don’t understand women who get cheated on or abused eitherphysically or emotionally and yet still believe the other person loves them. It’salways really irritated me. To me, if you cheat on somebody, that means twothings. First of all, you’re a crappy person. Secondly, you obviously don’tcare about the other person. You don’t care about them or their feelings, you don’trespect them, and you don’t care about the relationship (since cheating couldeasily destroy the relationship.) Abuse is the same as cheating. Nobody who loves you would abuse you. What’s the point of describing this person’s feelings as “love”? All that doesis cheapen the meaning of love and turn love into something stupid. Real loveinspires people to be good to each other and to do things to try to help eachother grow and be happy. That’s why love is a beautiful, awesome thing. What is the value of love that inspires you to hurt the other person and treat thembadly? It’s so stupid it makes me angry. But I know a lot of women who think this way.Anybody have any insight into this? I don’t want to turn this into a battle of the sexes; I just refer to women because I’ve never met a man who says, “Well my girlfriend’s cheated on me a few times, but I know she still loves me.”
dasein Posted April 26, 2012 Posted April 26, 2012 They are hit with a triple whammy of chemicals, oxytocin, adrenaline and drama, the latter being this type's real life love, not the abusive dude.
TaraMaiden Posted April 26, 2012 Posted April 26, 2012 Usually it's a warped sense of love, but in reality it's neediness, co-dependency and an inability to believe they CAN leave... occasionally it's a sense of despair, and lack of self-worth. sometimes, they truly believe that person needs them, and that they can't leave.... Love as you and i know it - it definitely isn't. but sometimes, they just can't see any other way....
Mrlonelyone Posted April 26, 2012 Posted April 26, 2012 They are hit with a triple whammy of chemicals, oxytocin, adrenaline and drama, the latter being this type's real life love, not the abusive dude. That is all very true. Some people male and female are not happy in a relationship unless there is melodrama. They do what they can to create it. It's like they are people who have a fetish for the drama. Then there are the women with low self esteem. Who don't want to be single because folks will talk about them. So they get with any man who will take them and put up with all kinds of BS so as not to be alone. They fear being alone. Men just do not feel that pressure as much. Guys, Just be happy when people like that don't want you. Not all women are that way. It only looks like that because it's socially acceptable for women to act out that way. 1
g450 Posted April 27, 2012 Posted April 27, 2012 Who really knows. My GF went back to her abusive jerk H many many times over five years while he cheated on her and stole from her. I just did not get that. All her FBs that she had in that five year period basically just used her for sex. Some she even tried to get seriouse with. So here I come along, two years divorced and I treat her like a queen and she doesnt know how to handle it. She even admits to me that she has issues and she is a bad person etc. That's not the case now though but it used to be. And occasionally I still see that low self esteem side of her and it hurts to see it. Its like my old man used to say. "I will never figure women out".
yongyong Posted April 27, 2012 Posted April 27, 2012 Thanks for saving a person like that from other single guys Who really knows. My GF went back to her abusive jerk H many many times over five years while he cheated on her and stole from her. I just did not get that. All her FBs that she had in that five year period basically just used her for sex. Some she even tried to get seriouse with. So here I come along, two years divorced and I treat her like a queen and she doesnt know how to handle it. She even admits to me that she has issues and she is a bad person etc. That's not the case now though but it used to be. And occasionally I still see that low self esteem side of her and it hurts to see it. Its like my old man used to say. "I will never figure women out".
DjinnAgain Posted April 27, 2012 Posted April 27, 2012 You get beaten down slowly. The highs are accentuated and become less and less common, but it's like a drug. You keep going for them. It doesn't start off with the cheating, or the name calling, or whatever. It starts off beyond what you ever expect. Especially if you come from a family where you did not see a good relationship, but it can happen anyways. Eventually, you are convinced it's all you deserve and that you are overreacting to it. This is just how relationships are. It takes a bit to break out of that.
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