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[Pinkbutterflybarbie]

Hello Everyone,

I will try to keep this as short as possible but I would appreciate any advice that people can give.

Basically I was with my boyfriend for just over 2 years. We got on really well together loved one another and I love(d) him very deeply. He is 27, I am 26. The only problem is that I have never been a very trusting person and at times I could be possessive. I would sometimes get annoyed with his family, who as much as I loved, could sometimes be very imposing and I'd feel like he would put them before me (I've since sure this with him and I do think it was partly them but partly me being a bit possessive).

In January he said he needed a break. He was going to a work meeting and then to his brothers and said we would talk things through when he returned. When he came back he said he wasn't sure what he wanted and was enjoying being on his own. He said he loved me but wasn't missing the drama that came with me.

After a month of him saying this he finally agreed to us going out one night to see how things went. I stupidly started a petty argument and he said that was that. The next week I said how sorry I was and practically begged him to give me another chance to show him I'd changed. I got upset in work (he works in my office) and he sent me an email saying he just needed a week to get his head together and that he loved me and I make him the happiest he's ever been.

About 2 weeks later I found a picture on Facebook of him at his sisters wedding with another girl (this girl worked in our company but a different branch and they had met when we had a joint Xmas party...the same one I was at). I was devastated to say the least. I stupidly drove to his house to confront him and he denied it at first then admitted it. He wouldn't let me in (coz she was there) so I tried to push the door open to which he called the police on me. They came, understood and I went home. He apologised the next week in work for that. He said they'd swapped numbers at the party but he'd deleted it the next day but she had been emailing loads and when we split they met up (we split properly just after this break, to which he sobbed when I went to collect my stuff).

The next few weeks in march he kept telling me he'd only seen her a few times and that he was still chatting to her and stuff. I knew he was still seeing her by the way he was being.

Then all of a sudden about three weeks ago he changed. He wanted us to go out over the Easter holiday. He would say things about stuff we could do in future. He told his brother he was taking me out etc. Two days before we were due to go out she changed her Facebook picture to one of them two and started updating her status about how excited she was to be going out with him the next day. I confronted him again, denied it then admitted it saying he was an idiot. I never went out with him and he text me saying he had been going to end it with her so we could start fresh. I asked him what he really wanted and he said me he wanted us to try again because he loves me and misses me and he just wanted me to change some of the ways I'd been in the past. He said he has now ended it with her and the last 2 weeks I've been going round and what not and been trying for us to move on. Two days ago he sent me a massive email in work saying how he was sorry for everything and he never meant to hurt me he just didn't know what to do. He said he lived me and that he couldnt believe I'd never stopped trying no matter how much he hurt me and that made him love me more. He said he wanted us to move in and that in future he just needed to be truthful. I was ecstatic. I finally felt like we could move on.

Yesterday morning I woke up to a text saying how this was really hard for him to say but he'd gone away with this girl for a week. He said she'd booked it a few months ago and that it has only been the past few weeks he's realised what he really wanted but he felt it was too late to pull out of the holiday and because it is her 21st birthday next week. He said everything e said about committing to me was true and that he had realised what he wanted, he loved me and that he would have to grovel and fight to repair anything we had left when he returns. Either that or he'd realise he'd made the biggest mistake of his life.

I am absolutely devastated. I can't stop crying, I don't know what's true and what isn't. I'm scared if I wait he might come back and have changed his mind. Although a lad he spoke to in work said he did seem to want me but he felt bad pulling out of the holiday. However he must have known what this would do to me. I can't eat or sleep and I just want to cry constantly. He hasnt replied to my texts so I won't send anymore till he's back. I'm just so confused and don't know what to do for the best. I do love him but he's hurt me so much (

I'm sorry this is so long and thank you to those who have read down to the end xx

[BewitchedandBothered]

He wants to string both of you along. He has her believing they are in a relationship==otherwise, why would she put up a picture of the two of them, etc.? Also, he seems to enjoy blaming the women for things..."SHE texted ME",etc. "SHE booked the holiday"---so of COURSE, he just HAS to go and spend a week with her ignoring you. Dump him. You deserve better.

[Pinkbutterflybarbie]

That's what I think deep down but I also know he's not really that sort of person. Plus people ive spoken to said he seems genuinely stressed out with the whole situation. I don't know..I'm just really struggling to get through these 7 days. I'm in bed now and although I'm tired I can't seem to shut off. How do you stop your mind from thinking?? Xx

[LostGirl11]

So her feelings are more important than yours? He knew this would hurt you! Pfft! Don't text him or call him! Haven't you heard from him at all? This is too fishy. Do you think he would wait around for you if you went away with another man? Get rid of him, he sounds like bad news. I really do feel for you. I'd be a mess knowing that the man I love is doing god knows what with another woman. Actually Text him saying 'I hope shes worth it, good bye' and never contact him again.

[Million.to.1]

Actually Text him saying 'I hope shes worth it, good bye' and never contact him again.

 

Don't Txt that. Just don't txt.

 

Someone who cares about you wouldn't do this. It is a massive double standard and by putting up with it you are showing him how insecure you are, which will only make him treat you worse.

 

Walk away from this. Go N/C and find someone who won't be making you compete for his love.

[LostGirl11]

Don't Txt that. Just don't txt.

 

Someone who cares about you wouldn't do this. It is a massive double standard and by putting up with it you are showing him how insecure you are, which will only make him treat you worse.

 

Walk away from this. Go N/C and find someone who won't be making you compete for his love.

 

Ok, no, don't text that. Please don't put up with this.

[BewitchedandBothered]

That's what I think deep down but I also know he's not really that sort of person. Plus people ive spoken to said he seems genuinely stressed out with the whole situation. I don't know..I'm just really struggling to get through these 7 days. I'm in bed now and although I'm tired I can't seem to shut off. How do you stop your mind from thinking?? Xx

 

Yeah...I can see where most young guys would be uber stressed about going away with a young lady for a week and the agony of ignoring texts to someone he lied to. He probably had a really stressful week with her, trying to get away. Wake up and smell the toast burning. He is a player. And people are just comforting and reassuring you by saying he 'seems genuinely stressed".