Gochelseablues Posted April 26, 2012 Posted April 26, 2012 We met a few months after he passed. From what I know they're relationship had many issues. They broke up and got together many times. The he died and an accident. She's a great girl. I'm definitely wanting to work with her on this issue. But Im skeptical of how we fan work this out. She misses him a ton. Will break into tears when a reminder comes up during convo. She'll have days were she is just very quiet, disconnected and in a bad mood. Then there are the perfectly normal days. I would say at this point she certainly loves him more than me. I'm not so much envious, just concerned she may not be able to.live a healthy relationship. What are the appropriate steps here? It almost seems like her love for him keeps growing.
Philosoraptor Posted April 26, 2012 Posted April 26, 2012 The issue here is that she jumped well before she had healed not only for losing the relationship, but having someone she deeply cared about die. Can she be in a healthy relationship? Sure, with time. She needs to heal and it wouldn't be a bad idea to speak to a counselor if she is having these panic moments.
DuchessKaye Posted April 26, 2012 Posted April 26, 2012 Give her a time. And if you do really want her, you will be willing to wait.
Exit Posted April 26, 2012 Posted April 26, 2012 Too soon for her to be with you in my opinion. Hate to think you've been put in perfect position for a rebound (especially from a death, not just a breakup) and some day when she is finally feeling better she may feel like a completely different person and feel like she doesn't need to be with you anymore. You're in a precarious position and I would almost consider backing off into more of a mutual support system for her and encourage her to get into some counseling but I do not think it's fair or healthy to engage in a relationship where she can still be brought to tears over missing someone else. Does your heart belong to someone else enough that you still think about them and miss them? No. But clearly she is not 100% about you right now. This can't be a mutual 2 way relationship right now. But ride it out if you prefer, hopefully she will remember that you were there for her and not bail on you once she is feeling better.
health Posted April 26, 2012 Posted April 26, 2012 She was needy and rebounded with you. You took advantage of that. Not a good look man. Not saying you meant to do this. But this could get messy. She needs time alone to heal. If shes the type that can't and needs to bounce from relationship to relationship, it doesn't look good. Good luck.
CrazyDiamond424 Posted April 26, 2012 Posted April 26, 2012 I'm gonna have to agree with everyone else here. She needs time to heal before she can be in a relationship. Talk to her, be there for her but you're gonna be the one getting the short end of the stick here. She needs time to grieve before she can make you happy.
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