thenewdenial Posted June 20, 2004 Posted June 20, 2004 My girlfriend and I have been together for about 5 months now. I am 19, and she is 18. We are in love and want to include eachother in our future plans (college). We're ready to move from that point of "dating" to actually living with eachother and what not. I know this is the progression for a normal adult relationship, but considering our age and situation, it almost seems forced. We're not kids anymore, but we're not quite adults yet, so I'm having difficulty in determining wheather or not this decision is out of "teenage lust" or is a mature adult choice. To some we could be "two crazy kids" and to others a mature couple building their future together. For the most part our maturity levels are well matched, and we've discussed this throughly and agree that this is what we want to do. We've got about 4 months or so to finalize plans, so nothing is set in stone yet. But my main concern: Are we two kids being forced into an adult situation, or are we making a mature decision to take our relationship to the next level? Any thoughts would be of great help. Thanks in advance.
msrealdoll Posted June 20, 2004 Posted June 20, 2004 I'm curious about something you said: it almost seems forced. Are we two kids being forced into an adult situation Why do you feel this way? Where is the pressure coming from? You sound very level-headed and mature. 5 months is not a very long time to be together before making this type of commitment, but that's not saying it won't work. Some things to consider: Do you have much experience in relationships? Does she? Have either of you ever lived on your own? Are you financially secure enough to do this? Are you accustomed now to spending a great deal of time together?
Author thenewdenial Posted June 21, 2004 Author Posted June 21, 2004 Msrealdoll, the reason I feel the sitiuation may be "forced" is because she's going off to college pretty far away from home, and if I don't go with her, then there won't be much of a relationship left. Neither of us have lived on our own before, but the both of us are pretty experienced in relationships. We do spend a lot of time together, we've "played house" (gone grocery shopping and such), so I think I've got a decent idea of what it'd be like living with her, and I think I would be happy.
morrigan Posted June 21, 2004 Posted June 21, 2004 Five months is not all that long term of a relationship--it may be better for both of you to just keep dating, even if it does involve separation and distance from eachother at times. Allowing each of you to pursue your goals is better than forcing both of you to live together because you are afraid of breaking up. Things change in college, sometimes feelings for a SO do as well, although I have had friends who dated all through college and later married. But forcing a relationship won't keep it alive, it will more likely doom it. The thought of moving in together may seem idyllic, but financially and emotionally at this point in your life, it would be a real strain on both of you. Keep on dating, see eachother as much as you can, if you two still feel the same way in 2-3 years, then you can think about moving in together. Good luck.
Fayebelle Posted June 21, 2004 Posted June 21, 2004 If you have any doubts about taking the next step for whatever reasons-Don't do it! It's a lot easier to decide 6 months from now that YES you are ready to move in then to live tog for 6 months and go OOPS this was a mistake.
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