JackSparrow Posted April 25, 2012 Posted April 25, 2012 I have been going crazy over this girl lately, I just can't seem to tell if she likes me, or is just too shy, or is waiting for something. I just don't know, I keep on getting mixed signs. She is terribly shy, but often shows such a strong liking for me, and not so much on other days. I'm confused and lost. I have tried to get advice from others, but I never got a straight answer, it was pretty much 50/50. Here is the original question if you don't mind reading. ======================================================= -----In short, I think I may have blown my chances with a girl I really admire. There is this girl in my computer class, and I sit next to her everyday. We are friends but we have only hung out a couple of times (all of them with other people) She knows that I like her, I try to flirt with her and make her laugh and whatnot. And I think she likes me, or used to at least, she plays with her hair when she talks to me, but can never look me straight in the eye. She gave me a nickname and calls me by that name sometimes. however she is REALLY SHY. It took months to even get this close with her. and we still barely know each other. I have asked her out a couple of times, but she does work so it can be troublesome sometimes. but whenever we do go out, its always her AND her friends. I can never get her alone so I can tell her how I feel about her. Is that what she is worried about? So anyway, my friend said the other night that I should send her a sweet text message, just to show her that she means something to me. So I sent her a message complimenting her on her smile. Not only did she not text me back, but she was kinda hesitant to talk to me today. I'm afraid that she is angry with me, or that she is trying to to say that she isn't interested in that kind of relationship. But it seems so odd to me, because she flirts with me too, and just by the way she acts around me, I think I can tell that she likes me. I feel really bad now, should I say sorry to her? Should I ask her if she is even interested? Because honestly, I don't want to waste my/her time with this if she only wants to be friends. I really like this girl, and she seems to feel the same way based on our conversations, what can I do to fix this? Is she just too shy to text back? And that I'm thinking about this too far? The only thing I'm worried about here is that if she isn't interested, it may leave us in an awkward friendship. Some of my friends have told me to back off a bit, let her chase me if she is interested, but I'm not sure if this will work because she is terribly shy, (she has never had a boyfriend) and she may just hold back her feelings. I feel stuck.----- ======================================================= As far as the responses go, I got lots of answers. However all of them took either one side or the other. Either... A.) I tell her how I feel directly, she is shy, therefore she will never open up to you if you back off now. She will never know how much you care unless you tell her now. or B.) By complimenting her you have shown an interest in her, based on your current friendship, she seems to show interest in you too. Let her chase you, back off a bit and let things play out. You don't want to scare her away. Personally, I am biased for choice A, because I am impatient. On the other hand, I don't want to ruin our friendship by telling her what I feel. But I feel that if I wait for a response from her, she will assume I lost interest. BTW, today she seemed a bit less hesitant, she laughed at my jokes, but not much more. Nothing I feel needs to be urgent at the moment, but if id does turn out to be that I should go ahead and tell her, how should I go about doing so? She seems a bit hesitant to want to go on a 1 on 1 date. But that's the only way I feel I can tell her. I don't want to text her my feelings. So the choice tell her what my heart feels and hopefully she feels the same way, or lay off a bit and wait for her to chase me. I need your advice, I'm currently preforming the latter (without overdoing it) until I am 100% certain that I should go ahead with the former. Any advice is appreciated, thanks in advance.
jobaba Posted April 25, 2012 Posted April 25, 2012 1) Why do you like a girl you barely know? 2) Never apologize for liking a woman. Spur of the moment thing. I've done it too. Never apologize. 3) There's nothing to jeopardize. You've never even hung out with her one on one. You're not friends. My advice would be to back off the dogs and totally reconstruct your approach to women. You could continue with her if you were more cool about it, but you're already deep into her. I'm surprised your friends haven't told you this. Make some more friends who are better with women.
Author JackSparrow Posted April 25, 2012 Author Posted April 25, 2012 Its not that I barely know her, we are friends, you can be friends with someone without having a 1 on 1 date. I talk to her everyday. I haven't apologized and I don't plan on it. And I'm not sure I need to "totally reconstruct my approach to women." I am quite social around girls, they often come up to me seeking something more than friendship, I am funny and starting a conversation/friendship with any girl comes easy to me. This girl is just a bit shy, so its hard to tell what it is she is looking for. I just feel different around her.
jobaba Posted April 26, 2012 Posted April 26, 2012 Notice that your post has no responses... That is because everybody knows you have no shot with this woman. Never even consider telling a woman about your feelings whom (by your own admission) you barely know. I'm sorry to be harsh, but I was pretty much the same when I was your age probably. The sooner you know how off you are, the better.
Author JackSparrow Posted April 26, 2012 Author Posted April 26, 2012 I don't think that's true, of course I may be a bit biased, but nevertheless I feel as if you are trying to apply this rule to all women. Which is not true. Sure I may have startled her by complimenting her, but that doesn't mean that I don't have a chance. The best I can do now is act like it never happened. In my opinion I think I just jumped a bit too soon. We are friends, not good friends, so maybe I should wait for our trust to strengthen before I try anything too spontaneous. Sorry for the confusion as far as the 'barely knew her' thing, it was just what I was typing at the time, a way to show that i want to spend more time with her. I know a lot about her, she is just mysterious.
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