Lil1 Posted April 25, 2012 Posted April 25, 2012 I'm curious. How many of you men gossip to other men about FWB you're involved in?... even after having promised to keep it under wraps? I was in a FWB type situation for a short while last year and now a close friend of his has propositioned me... could it be because my former FWB talked to him about it? I am still friends with him, and when we have hung out in a social setting there is nothing suspicious about our behavior towards each other. No one has ever made any comments or suspected anything (as far as I'm concerned) so I have been under the impression that he has kept his word about keeping our FWB arrangement private. But now I wonder. How often do men kiss and tell?
Professor X Posted April 25, 2012 Posted April 25, 2012 Hi there lucky number 8, I was in fwb a while ago, haven't told a soul, and as far as I know, none of my friends tell about their private stuff as well. I honestly don't think it's what men do. Our men time is to sit, drink, play the PlayStation and lol. Women gossip, men fart. 1
Author Lil1 Posted April 25, 2012 Author Posted April 25, 2012 Why hello professor, thanks for stepping up to the plate! I'm glad to hear you're the discreet type. Would it make a difference if one of your buddies started an FWB with your former FWB? If you somehow suspected or found out would you spill your beans then? Any other perspectives out there? Or shuld I assume this is the norm... men do not kiss and tell.
InJest Posted April 25, 2012 Posted April 25, 2012 Depends on the age. I'm 26. When I was in my early 20s we would talk about every girl and every position that we did with a girl. We'd go into graphic detail. Now I'll only mention it if something out of the ordinary happens. If you are attractive, he has definitely told someone.
Author Lil1 Posted April 25, 2012 Author Posted April 25, 2012 When I was in my early 20s we would talk about every girl and every position that we did with a girl. We'd go into graphic detail. If you are attractive, he has definitely told someone. Really?! Dam I'm glad I never ventured into the FWB until I was more mature and was sure I could handle it. But now you've really got me thinking cause my former FWB, and the current guy propositioning me, are both in their early 20s. So I should assume he has shared every graphic detail with him?! as far as being attractive... well, my milkshake does bring all the boys to the yard lol!! I kid. I would say I'm about a 7 but my charm and my wit and of course my intellect shoots me way past 10:lmao: Attractiveness is subjective.
Chs Posted April 25, 2012 Posted April 25, 2012 What type of guy is he? That should give you the answer. In my main group of friends nothing is kept hidden, we talk about everything anyone did with any girl regardless if she is attractive or not. We joke about it or brag about it. Girlfriends are an exception, not every detail is shared there but still not everything is secret. Boys will be boys, and we love to talk about each others conquests. The bond between good friends far exceeds the bond a guy will have in any type of casual relationship with a girl.
dasein Posted April 25, 2012 Posted April 25, 2012 I think men tell even more than women do, especially if the woman puts on a "nice girl" front with one guy, teasing him, professing she's all about waiting for marriage, and is keeping lots of FWBs at the same time. I've been warned of this and warned friends off ala "she's painting herself different from what she is, careful man." Remember from HS a buddy of mine's GF was sleeping with several of his friends while acting goody goody exclusive with him. His friends got together, took him out, bought him beers and broke the news. So yeah men do talk in certain situations.
mesmerized Posted April 25, 2012 Posted April 25, 2012 Hi there lucky number 8, I was in fwb a while ago, haven't told a soul, and as far as I know, none of my friends tell about their private stuff as well. I honestly don't think it's what men do. Our men time is to sit, drink, play the PlayStation and lol. Women gossip, men fart. I really laughed out loud at this. But I disagree, I bet that men talk about their fwb situations more than women. It's like a badge of honor for men but not for women yet.
Woggle Posted April 25, 2012 Posted April 25, 2012 When I was in a FWB situation everybody knew but they actually thought we were more serious than we were.
Author Lil1 Posted April 26, 2012 Author Posted April 26, 2012 (edited) Dasein, now we're getting somewhere. Would it have made any difference if the girl had been upfront with him about sleeping with other guys? Was it worse because she was sleeping with his friends while misleading him by telling him they were exclusive? All this happened when you were in HIGH SCHOOL? Geeesh, now I feel like a late bloomer lol! Chs, I also agree that "The bond between good friends far exceeds the bond a guy will have in any type of casual relationship with a girl." I'll be honest and confess that I have shared intimate details of my 'conquests' with my girlfriends. But I was always under the impression that this is more normal for chicks than guys. Hence why I can't really be upset with my former FWB if he did spill the beans. Mesmerized, I def. know what you mean about "men wearing it like a badge", but I always thought it was like professor X said, that "women gossip and men sit, drink, play the PlayStation and lol" (and fart). But he seems to be in the minority from what the other men have posted. Woggle, how did everyone know you were in a FWB? Did they see you two together on a date? I don't go out on dates with my FWBs. If we hang out socially then it's usually with other friends and we keep our special friendship under wraps... or so I thought! * Edit to add that I also don't have FWBs that travel in the same social circle for this very reason! Edited April 26, 2012 by Lil1
Woggle Posted April 26, 2012 Posted April 26, 2012 Most people knew both of us and saw us hanging around a lot so they thought we were more serious. We would also run into people all the time on the boardwalk plus she was much more in love with me than I was with her so she announced it all over the place.
dasein Posted April 26, 2012 Posted April 26, 2012 Dasein, now we're getting somewhere. Would it have made any difference if the girl had been upfront with him about sleeping with other guys? Was it worse because she was sleeping with his friends while misleading him by telling him they were exclusive? All this happened when you were in HIGH SCHOOL? Geeesh, now I feel like a late bloomer lol! He was an attractive, popular guy himself. He had foreclosed options due to an illusion of exclusivity, so no, I don't think it would have made too much difference if not friends. Of course it's more humiliating being done wrong within one's own social group, that goes without saying. Past a certain age and experience level, you don't really have to kiss and tell, because you know a guy wouldn't be even hanging around a particular girl without sex being in the picture. I suppose it could happen just very rare.
Flummox Posted April 26, 2012 Posted April 26, 2012 It depends more on the type of the guy rather than the attractiveness of the woman he's sleeping with. Even though I'm female, I had a guy friend who would tell me all about his FWBs, including how he wasn't attracted to them.
Trimmer Posted April 26, 2012 Posted April 26, 2012 But now you've really got me thinking cause my former FWB, and the current guy propositioning me, are both in their early 20s. So I should assume he has shared every graphic detail with him?! I think you need to be careful. You have started an interesting, but very general discussion, which has NOTHING to do with your particular FWB situation. It sounds like you are trying to draw a conclusion about what your particular FWB most likely did, by taking a broad poll of many others and trying to apply that general result to your particular situation. That's not how statistics works.
DuchessKaye Posted April 26, 2012 Posted April 26, 2012 Kiss and tell is not a guy thing, it's a girla thing, IMO.
Emilia Posted April 26, 2012 Posted April 26, 2012 It depends on the guy and on how mature or talkative he is. Some men just can't keep their trap shut (just like some women can't). Some will show your intimate texts to their mates, especially if you are not his girlfriend. If his good friend propositioned you it means the guy you are currently sh***ing has not respect for you and his friends know this.
Andy_K Posted April 26, 2012 Posted April 26, 2012 How often do men kiss and tell? Depends how you define kiss and tell. Most guys will happily tell their friends who they've slept with, or are sleeping with, but generally won't go into graphic detail like positions, dates & times, etc.
ascendotum Posted April 26, 2012 Posted April 26, 2012 It depends on the guy and on how mature or talkative he is. Some men just can't keep their trap shut (just like some women can't). Some will show your intimate texts to their mates, especially if you are not his girlfriend. Thats right you can't generalise men as regards how much they blab about their sex lives. Using the movie 'american pie'as an example, I know guys who are very discreet about their love life like Finch to guys who brag and show you the videos + iphone snaps and who want to be high 5'd like Stifler. Guys tend to be more discreet when they get older though. Sometimes you get all the details (esp if the girl was a little dirty) but usually they don't go into detail much, beyond the time + place it happens/ed....though it depends if the guy is a real close friend or just one of the gang you hang out with. If the girl is hot or not does not make a lot of difference I find. If his good friend propositioned you it means the guy you are currently sh***ing has not respect for you and his friends know this.I guess it depends on your social circle, but the guys I hang out with don't really gossip, though in many cases you do tend to confide in 1 or 2 of your closest friends if you were doing a fwb, and I really don't think this is any different from most women. When you do confide in your friends you hope they are discreet about it, but sometimes they are not. I find that once a sex secret gets past the first inner circle then the next person your friends tell, usually don't have the same level of care about being discreet and quite a few people can find out. It can get back to the girl and she thinks you're shooting your mouth off, but all you told was 1 person, who told another, who told another. I've known about my closest friends affairs, but when it comes to the next level of friends out, I usually find out about fwbs/ons sometime after the event....could be a year or more, or when the girl does not hang out with us anymore or gets a bf or pisses the guy off or pisses her gf off and she lets it slip after having a few drinks. The situation Dasein outlined has happened a few times for me and others I've known where we've been 'clued up' on a woman and her other side, in situations where she's playing the snooty hard to get/dirty girl to different guys.
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