tipsyleprachauns Posted April 25, 2012 Posted April 25, 2012 (edited) It's amazing, how one bit of unwanted information can set you back to square one. I've been dealing okay even after having broke contact and had drinks with the ex last weekend. Tonight - it would seem she is actually still dating medic bloke that she hooked up with shortly after break up and is round at his house right now. just posted on her housemate (a good friend of mine) facebook, using the boy's account. thus she's at his place with him hence, they're almost certainly together feel sick much He's not religious like the two of us. It makes me feel so sick thinking about if she's screwing him, when that's one of the things that broke us up and one of the things she was major serious about never going back on. Essentially. I'm fed up. I'm fed up of having spent 4 months pining over a girl who broke up with me in the most hurtful manner. Who came out smelling of roses and covered me in manure. Who is happy with a new boy whilst I'm left here, alone, filling in a tax return and thinking the world of someone who wants nothing to do with me. Maybe there's some truth in the plan B theory after all. I wonder how the new boy felt about her having drinks with me. I'd guess she hasn't mentioned it. Loveshack - I feel terrible. All the way through this I've dealt with it so well. Had little if any urges to break no contact. Done anything humanly possible to focus on me. Made tonnes of new friends. Lost over a stone in weight. About to sign on a luxury new waterfront flat with a pool, jacuzzi and balcony. Bought a new car. Financially secured myself. Pushed my career. Started volunteering. Learned guitar. Made a bunch of films. I'm 23, and I've done all of that in 4 months, having only graduated 2 years ago from a distinctly poor lower middle class background. I'm damn proud of my life right now. I want this to end now. I want to stop wanting some fickle and fake immature girl who crapped all over me. I want to stop wondering if she'll ever grow up and learn about life like I did and whether she'll ever be back. I want to stop thinking she's perfect. I want to get the hell over it already. My head tells me it's not worth this. My heart tells me I'll hear from her again one day when she realizes how good she had it. Why won't my heart shut the hell up and listen to my head. How can I do so much right, yet everything keep going wrong? Rant over. Edited April 25, 2012 by tipsyleprachauns
BewitchedandBothered Posted April 25, 2012 Posted April 25, 2012 It's amazing, how one bit of unwanted information can set you back to square one. I've been dealing okay even after having broke contact and had drinks with the ex last weekend. Tonight - it would seem she is actually still dating medic bloke that she hooked up with shortly after break up and is round at his house right now. just posted on her housemate (a good friend of mine) facebook, using the boy's account. thus she's at his place with him hence, they're almost certainly together feel sick much He's not religious like the two of us. It makes me feel so sick thinking about if she's screwing him, when that's one of the things that broke us up and one of the things she was major serious about never going back on. Essentially. I'm fed up. I'm fed up of having spent 4 months pining over a girl who broke up with me in the most hurtful manner. Who came out smelling of roses and covered me in manure. Who is happy with a new boy whilst I'm left here, alone, filling in a tax return and thinking the world of someone who wants nothing to do with me. Maybe there's some truth in the plan B theory after all. I wonder how the new boy felt about her having drinks with me. I'd guess she hasn't mentioned it. Loveshack - I feel terrible. All the way through this I've dealt with it so well. Had little if any urges to break no contact. Done anything humanly possible to focus on me. Made tonnes of new friends. Lost over a stone in weight. About to sign on a luxury new waterfront flat with a pool, jacuzzi and balcony. Bought a new car. Financially secured myself. Pushed my career. Started volunteering. Learned guitar. Made a bunch of films. I'm 23, and I've done all of that in 4 months, having only graduated 2 years ago from a distinctly poor lower middle class background. I'm damn proud of my life right now. I want this to end now. I want to stop wanting some fickle and fake immature girl who crapped all over me. I want to stop wondering if she'll ever grow up and learn about life like I did and whether she'll ever be back. I want to stop thinking she's perfect. I want to get the hell over it already. My head tells me it's not worth this. My heart tells me I'll hear from her again one day when she realizes how good she had it. Why won't my heart shut the hell up and listen to my head. How can I do so much right, yet everything keep going wrong? Rant over. The wound was ripped open when you went and met up with her. THIS is why we have NC, so you feel less of what you are feeling now, my friend. It's still early for you, but....look at all you have accomplished at your age that some don't do in a lifetime:) And you will want to share it with someone worthy someday, not someone who covered you in manure as you eloquently put it. You can get through this. Don't break contact again or you will rip open the wound again:( 5
Author tipsyleprachauns Posted April 26, 2012 Author Posted April 26, 2012 Youre right. I mean, no contact or not - I woul have found that out anyway. But I used catching up with her as a way to clear the air and try think about her less. I get the feeling she used it to verify I'm still a backup plan. How do I get it into my stupid head that she really isn't all that great and probably wont ever grow up and realise what she had? I can't describe how drained I am of all this guys. I woke up this morning and realised I haven't woke up truly happy once for four and a half months. Which obviously made me think about her waking up next to him. I was sure it wouldn't last. 1
flitzanu Posted April 26, 2012 Posted April 26, 2012 block her on facebook. simple as that. quit reading their posts. 1
Author tipsyleprachauns Posted April 27, 2012 Author Posted April 27, 2012 Quite surprised at how quickly I'm getting back to where I was again. Already the gut wrenching pain from the beginning that came back the last couple days has gone and been replaced by just dullness. That took a couple weeks last time round. Hey maybe I'll get back towards happiness quicker than 2 months this time. After an incident last night where she posted something, having nothing to do with me, but quite obviously to get my attention for whatever reasons she had, I went and blocked. I have no idea what she's playing at, ignoring me then trying to get a rise out of me. Proving she's read my email and chosen to ignore it. It's either spiteful or thoughtless, but she can't so it anymore. It's like she got pissed off at my asserting my decision over not being friends - so chose to ignore me and be underhand instead. Power trip? I'm sure she'll try and contact me again if and when it falls apart with this boy, I can't help but feel as a strict christian dating an athiest she's setting herself up for a fall there. I hope to be in the position where I want no part of it if that happens.
Mr Scorpio Posted April 27, 2012 Posted April 27, 2012 All the way through this I've dealt with it so well. Had little if any urges to break no contact. Done anything humanly possible to focus on me. Made tonnes of new friends. Lost over a stone in weight. About to sign on a luxury new waterfront flat with a pool, jacuzzi and balcony. Bought a new car. Financially secured myself. Pushed my career. Started volunteering. Learned guitar. Made a bunch of films. I'm 23, and I've done all of that in 4 months, having only graduated 2 years ago from a distinctly poor lower middle class background. I'm damn proud of my life right now. Wow. You should be damn proud of your life right now. You have a ton of stuff going for you and you are still so young. It probably won't diminish your pain, but I'd so trade places with you! I have no career, no financial security, and no place of my own. And I'm 10 years older than you are. Rant over. Point being, you are in a pretty great spot right now, and you will find someone great to share it with.
TaraMaiden Posted April 27, 2012 Posted April 27, 2012 Re-read this thread, and all the comments in it - and hopefully you'll get that this is one manipulative piece of work. I really don't know how she gets some kind of satisfaction from all of this, but every time you notice her, pay attention to her, or let her see something has shifted your nerves, you're confirming "she's still got it" and you're pandering to her sense of importance. The only way to deflate a person of this kind - is to be completely indifferent to her. Egos need inflating. you need to stop blowing into the valve.... 1
Author tipsyleprachauns Posted April 27, 2012 Author Posted April 27, 2012 Re-read this thread, and all the comments in it - and hopefully you'll get that this is one manipulative piece of work. I really don't know how she gets some kind of satisfaction from all of this, but every time you notice her, pay attention to her, or let her see something has shifted your nerves, you're confirming "she's still got it" and you're pandering to her sense of importance. The only way to deflate a person of this kind - is to be completely indifferent to her. Egos need inflating. you need to stop blowing into the valve.... I think it was hard, and probably still is hard, for me to see that she's doing it all in a manipulative way when it's all been so vague and indirect. Yet at the same time, I know she's very self centred and selfish, stereotypical british medical students (no offense meant to any nice ones on here) So it's probably just her thinking about her not realizing other things matter. The email I sent her inflated her a lot. Time to let that slow puncture of insecurity take it's effect on her whilst I've proudly patched mine up. If she wants to grow up one day, then great. But she's not going to get any twisted satisfaction from my pain anymore.
Author tipsyleprachauns Posted April 27, 2012 Author Posted April 27, 2012 Wow. You should be damn proud of your life right now. You have a ton of stuff going for you and you are still so young. It probably won't diminish your pain, but I'd so trade places with you! I have no career, no financial security, and no place of my own. And I'm 10 years older than you are. Rant over. Point being, you are in a pretty great spot right now, and you will find someone great to share it with. Thanks dude . I've always been so strong and driven which I guess Is why I struggled so much and am still hung up on this. Those that climb high fall a long way. I have goals in life though, and not once, even during all of this, have I taken my eyes off them. I spent a year living in mouldy crap right on the breadline to establish myself working in television where I am now. And in the next 5 years I WILL be an established wildlife camera operator. Nothing, and no one, will stop me. Set your goals, believe in yourself, want them badly enough, and nothing will get in your way. 1
Mr Scorpio Posted April 27, 2012 Posted April 27, 2012 Thanks dude . I've always been so strong and driven which I guess Is why I struggled so much and am still hung up on this. Those that climb high fall a long way. Set your goals, believe in yourself, want them badly enough, and nothing will get in your way.[/QUOTE] No. Thank you. I don't know how many times I'm going to have to read that message before I start to believe it can work for me, but I'm glad there are people out there to keep saying it to me.
Author tipsyleprachauns Posted April 27, 2012 Author Posted April 27, 2012 No. Thank you. I don't know how many times I'm going to have to read that message before I start to believe it can work for me, but I'm glad there are people out there to keep saying it to me. Blindly believing it is the first step towards making it happen.
BewitchedandBothered Posted April 27, 2012 Posted April 27, 2012 Youre right. I mean, no contact or not - I woul have found that out anyway. But I used catching up with her as a way to clear the air and try think about her less. I get the feeling she used it to verify I'm still a backup plan. How do I get it into my stupid head that she really isn't all that great and probably wont ever grow up and realise what she had? I can't describe how drained I am of all this guys. I woke up this morning and realised I haven't woke up truly happy once for four and a half months. Which obviously made me think about her waking up next to him. I was sure it wouldn't last.Eh; it's only been a few months-honeymoon stage. And don't even go supposin' about her and him or whomever. It no longer matters. I've said this before and will say it to you...how GREAT could she be if she let you go? Think of that:) It should give you a little boost about yourself. You are drained and hopefully now you are at the stage where you could get a good night's sleep and be more clearheaded when you rise in the morning. Count your blessings;) You may have dodged a bullet here:) When someone leaves, they are making room in your life for something BETTER:) Mull on that for awhile:) 1
Author tipsyleprachauns Posted April 28, 2012 Author Posted April 28, 2012 Guess once I meet someone better, that'll be easier to believe. I hope I get there though. No doubt will see her in church again tomorrow. I tried to clear the air and she chose to ignore still, so I won't be making an effort to Chat to her anymore
Author tipsyleprachauns Posted April 29, 2012 Author Posted April 29, 2012 Will check in tomorrow after church to let you guys know how it goes having had her ignore me since catching up last week. I'm going to both morning and evening services in the hope she won't be at one of them.
Author tipsyleprachauns Posted April 29, 2012 Author Posted April 29, 2012 (edited) She was there. Seemed perfectly happy. Back to ignoring me it seems. Bumped into her in the corridor and so just said 'hope we can be civil now' and she just said yea that's fine. Relatively unemotional, if anything a little pissed off. I'm so drained of trying to figure out what's going on in her head and why it feels like she's dancing circles around me. Maybe she is, maybe she isn't. I'd like it if my mind could just let it be and forget. Here's hoping she isn't there this evening too. Edited April 29, 2012 by tipsyleprachauns
Justagirl222 Posted April 30, 2012 Posted April 30, 2012 This is golden.. Why do you all think your ex's are evil and not hurting too. Or not doing what they have to to be happy? You choose to be obsessed and dwell on your pain not them. Perposely not contacting somebody is just weird, if you see her in the pub say hello and before you know it your making small talk and smiling to yourself about how happy you were and how happy in a different way now. Making a big deal out of it makes it harder. Im four weeks into a break up where i was dumped and heartbroken but ive done the breaking up with other people so im wise enough to know it doesnt make them nasty.
Justagirl222 Posted April 30, 2012 Posted April 30, 2012 Pub, church wherever essentially. And if she dossnt want to talk its possibly because your a crazy stalker sounding fellow
Author tipsyleprachauns Posted April 30, 2012 Author Posted April 30, 2012 Clearly, you haven't actually read any of my previous posts.
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