mojo12yo Posted April 25, 2012 Posted April 25, 2012 Backround... Hello everyone, this is my first post on this website and I could use all the help in the world, lol. I just recently got out of a 2 year relationship a week ago. Our relationship was a special one that moved pretty fast. Now keep in mind she is 19 turning 20 tommorrow. She has never had any responcibility's of any sort before me. I wasn't even looking for her when I found her, so i figured it was fate. Now i ended up hanging out with her for about 2 weeks before she fully moved into my house. She was 18 at the time and I was 21. The reason we moved so fast was because she was getting booted out of the house she was living in and her roomates were jerks. She was 100% for it all the way and i made sure of it and made sure she wanted a long term relationship because thats what i was looking for. Now my parents lived with us for tis whole period of time but they are moving out this week or next... Accomplishments... Throughout our relationship I helped her out tremendously, she had nothing, literally had NOTHING!!! I helped her get her lisence, helped her get the first job she ever had, got her into the first car she ever drove, took her to her first hotel/vacation ever. Her first smartphone...you get the idea...we were also working on getting her GED right before she left. Leading upto the breakup... Now This is where I get confused. We were fine, everyday was a great day and i was enjoying every minute of every day, ofcourse we had our bickering a little bit but it happens in every relationship. Its not like i beat her or abused her by any means. I will admit towars the end i did smoke a lot of weed that made me want to stay home all the time and she was the kind of person that had to be doing something. I quit smoking weed as i realized it's not for me and it just brings me down. So she went to her sisters and mothers about once or twice a month, they live about 45 minutes away and before me she was always with them. One day she said to me "I'm bored I feel like going to Sarasota to see my sister" I told her to go for it and have a good time. She was sooo exited and gave me a big hug and kiss and said she was going to pick me up from work the next day. So she took off in my car and went. Now we kept in contact with little short texts. the next day rolls around and she ask's if she can go to the beach with her sister and if i could set up a ride home, i said go have a great time and i got it covered, exchanged love yous and she came home that night saying she just wants time to figure herself out, hugging me and crying. I started crying and lost it as well, the next day she packed everything and left. Her mom and sister had no idea until she got there. we were about to get our own house, sure we would be strapped for money but i was sooo happy and i thought she was to. she still wears her ring and necklace that i got her, but i asked her if there is any chance of us getting back together and she said i just cant tell you that right now. so she moved back in with her sister, lost her job,phone,and everything, i have no way to contact her or talk to her other than facebook and she has called me once, she said she was gonna call me the next night but never did, and she wont respond to me at all... HELP please im tore up My Questions To You All... -Why did she leave? -Will she come back? -Is there a contact period i should wait for? -Is the best contact no contact? -Should i do reverse psycology to get her back -What can I do to win her back? -What is she thinking? -Most importantly WHAT DID I DO WRONG? -Is there someone elce?
Philosoraptor Posted April 25, 2012 Posted April 25, 2012 -Why did she leave? You're still kids and at that age most truly do not know what they want out of life. You do find yourself and mature in your teens and twenties. It's the reason that many young marriages fail. You jump into something before you even know yourself or what you want out of life. It's nothing against your partner, but you grow and change... and sometimes that growth if away from your relationship. -Will she come back? Possibly, but it's not to be counted on. You can't live your life waiting. -Is there a contact period i should wait for? Zero days. You need to accept that she made this choice and there is truly nothing you can do. Just take care of yourself and find your path to healing from this sad event. -Is the best contact no contact? If you feel that contacting her and hearing that she met someone and is doing all of the things with someone else that you did together will not hurt you, then you can contact if you wish. Not saying that would be the case... but if you can't handle everything then you should avoid contact to protect yourself. -Should i do reverse psycology to get her back? That would be manipulation and almost always fails. If someone doesn't come back out of their own free will then they will likely leave again as it wasn't their choice. It's a decision one needs to come to with personal growth. -What can I do to win her back? Sadly it's out of your control. What you can do is take care of yourself. -What is she thinking? That she didn't want to be in that relationship anymore. -Most importantly WHAT DID I DO WRONG? Maybe something, maybe nothing. Most dumpers are very vague as they believe it will sting less in the end. It could have been her feelings just ran their course and faded off (as that happens more often than is said). -Is there someone elce? Maybe. But that really doesn't matter now. She is gone and you need to concentrate on you. Her reasons, no matter what they were, have made her come to the decision that this relationship needed to end. All you can truly do is accept it and work on yourself.
Author mojo12yo Posted April 25, 2012 Author Posted April 25, 2012 I understand that time heals all wounds and i have been staying busy lately, contacting old friends and going out more often. But it just hurts to the point i want to forget everything. But i appretiate the advice and no everything will turn out ok im sure, but it will take time, i just have to stay positive and keep my head up. thanks again
Philosoraptor Posted April 25, 2012 Posted April 25, 2012 I understand that time heals all wounds and i have been staying busy lately, contacting old friends and going out more often. But it just hurts to the point i want to forget everything. But i appretiate the advice and no everything will turn out ok im sure, but it will take time, i just have to stay positive and keep my head up. thanks again Try not to aim to forget as it tends to end up making the wound rather than letting it heal. Find healing and peace with the situation. It sounds like you've got the right attitude so just keep at it. Best of luck to you.
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