scotty1419 Posted April 25, 2012 Posted April 25, 2012 (edited) Hi guys, I was hoping I could get some advice I am so confused right now.. Basically I took my fiancee for granted and wanted to play games or do other things rather than talk to her when she called every single night from 9 to 10 for three years. but we were always madly in love. also im 22 and shes 18. anyways her father is an alcoholic and and she cant stand me drinking.. so we were at a hotel with some friends and i was drinking and just wanted to hang out and she made me so mad cuz she just wanted me to come upstairs and spend time with her so i grabbed her and shook her and yelled at her.. So you understand im not allowed to chew smoke drink or anything bc it hurts her so i lied occasionally about it to her which really hurt her.. anyways i forgot her on valentines day and she met this guy a month later and he started textin her and she started textin him and she kept tellin me they were just friends i started accusin her of cheatin n **** n made her delete his number. so she goes out to the guys house and stays the nite and he kissed her but she turned her head he asked her for sex and she said no. now this girl has never lied to me and i have no reason to believe she lied about what happened. she said she liked the attention he was giving her that i stopped giving her.. anyways she called me the next morning and broke up with me.. I was in shock and devastated was up all night crying for the next week. a week later she comes crying back.. anyways its two months later and things just arent right its like shes not even trying anymore shes confused she says.. Ive tried everything to make her feel special and give her attention.. she says she doesnt want anyone but me and she didnt replace me but im still hurt from what happened. when i give up she gets all nice and lovey to me and when i try she doesnt barely look at me much it just aint right. also her dad left her and her mom a few ago and is harrassing her mother for not takin him back.. im so confused i dont know what to do but im so tired of staying up at night this is such bull**** someone please help me im begging you Edited April 25, 2012 by scotty1419
TaraMaiden Posted April 25, 2012 Posted April 25, 2012 I would go to a local Buddhist temple and try meditation for an hour or so... clear your mind and relax... just let it all go. It's just mental machinations and an obstacle to calm living.
rob_h Posted April 25, 2012 Posted April 25, 2012 Ahhh mate this sucks. Been there, done it. I suggest reading this and seeing how you want to proceed: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/251986-grass-greener-syndrome
Author scotty1419 Posted April 25, 2012 Author Posted April 25, 2012 (edited) Ahhh mate this sucks. Been there, done it. I suggest reading this and seeing how you want to proceed: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/251986-grass-greener-syndrome thankyou, i read that and took it into consideration.. however the thing about this relationship is that shes never had a stable relationship or house in her life.. i mean shes living at a campground with her mom..cause her dad left her. now hes harrasing her mother. I mean she was miserable the whole week she wasnt with me.. and her mom said she realized how much i mean to her when she didnt have me anymore. i have a home and we are so close to living together after she graduates.. i mean we been waiting for this for years and its finnaly here and its like wtf is going on.. and she could have something stable. every man in her life has walked out on her and her mom shes moved from house to house and i can offer her stability.. i learned my damn lesson and i will make her feel special and appreciate her.. but im so confused and shes so confused.. she says she knows in her head she loves me but her feelings are confused.. she hasnt talked to the guy since she came back with me and she ignored his texts and his moms. but i just dont know it makes me soo mad knowing some douche has her number and can text her and try and come in our relationship and try to weasel her away from me.. it seriously makes me want to find out where he lives and smash his face in with a ball bat.. the funny thing is the douchebag has a fat girlfriend that him or his family doesnt even like.. he dumped her that night that he kissed my fiancee and asked her for sex.. and now hes back together with the fat chick.. man i wanna hurt that guy bad. Edited April 25, 2012 by scotty1419
wilsonx Posted April 25, 2012 Posted April 25, 2012 She still doesnt have a stable relationship, even with you. Look at your problems. You aren't stable at all. You can't offer her anything but a warm body to sleep next to because you don't want to be alone. You need to focus on your own issues before worrying about someone else and theirs. 1
Author scotty1419 Posted April 25, 2012 Author Posted April 25, 2012 She still doesnt have a stable relationship, even with you. Look at your problems. You aren't stable at all. You can't offer her anything but a warm body to sleep next to because you don't want to be alone. You need to focus on your own issues before worrying about someone else and theirs. ok, your right i cant even stand being one night from her because i dont know what shes doing and i cant stop thinking about her..when we are apart i cant sleep at night. and when were together i still cant sleep.. or do you mean im afraid to let her go and be a single man alone? thanks
wilsonx Posted April 25, 2012 Posted April 25, 2012 ok, your right i cant even stand being one night from her because i dont know what shes doing and i cant stop thinking about her..when we are apart i cant sleep at night. and when were together i still cant sleep.. or do you mean im afraid to let her go and be a single man alone? thanks Highlighted part shows that there's something wrong with you that you need to address, its not her. Trust me in your shoes now, havent slept in a year, if you figure this out, let me know, turn it into a pill and I'll buy a lifetime supply for you
CrazyDiamond424 Posted April 25, 2012 Posted April 25, 2012 Aw man, sounds like what I went through with my ex BF. We got back together after drama and as much as I tried to make him happy he didnt budge. Sooo...he asked for a break. Im not saying I'm happy about it, but when you love someone you have to learn to respect their wishes...even if the risk is losing them. It will always be for the best. The one thing I would advise you to do is talk to her CALMLY. Lend her your ears and if you are still not able to come to an agreement give her some space to think things through. Maybe things happened so fast and she's still very confused about her feelings. I hope things work out for you hun.
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