ech Posted April 25, 2012 Posted April 25, 2012 I have been with my bf for 9 months- yes we have had our ups and downs, but have worked it all out and are now very happy and talking about getting married next June. I asked him last night if he thought couples should consult each other before making decisions (he had called on a truck to buy and never told me). He said he thinks that the funds should remain separate, that we should not combine our money so we can have our own control over what we buy ect... My last marriage we had joined together- I thought thats what marriage was. Maybe I'm wrong. Any thoughts?
Philosoraptor Posted April 25, 2012 Posted April 25, 2012 It's an individual choice; no one is right or wrong here. You either decide you can or can not do it that way. My personal value is that you combine finances when you are married... and that's after I was burned by combining finances when engaged. But if whomever I end up with doesn't agree we will find some sort of compromise. I personally like the 3 account deal if you're not to combine. Each provides to the account that pays the combined bills and savings goals, then covers their own bills and can do whatever they want with the rest. 3
zengirl Posted April 25, 2012 Posted April 25, 2012 People do it all kinds of ways now. There is total comingling, total separation and a 50/50 split of everything, and every style in between. Hubby and I make enough that the 3 account system works well for us (it really only works well if you actually have a fair amount left after bills & HH expenses to put into the other 2 accounts), but we have a plan to integrate higher and higher %s of our funds over time and put less into our individual accounts over that time.
Author ech Posted April 25, 2012 Author Posted April 25, 2012 That makes sense- I was thinking the 3 account approach also. I'll see what he says about that.
g450 Posted April 26, 2012 Posted April 26, 2012 Had a joint account with my XW. Never again. Told Fiancee that we would have separate accounts. I am the homeowner and I pay all the bills anyway. She plans on getting a job. She can pitch in with her half of the bills as needed. No need to complicate things with a joint account. Know for a fact that fiancee is bad with money etc. Even my XW could never balance her checkbook correctly. It was always a sore subject with us. She would spend money and then lose the receipt. Wouldnt find out about the lost funds until the statement came in with a few hundred dollars spent that were unaccounted for. XW just didnt give a damn. Not going to deal with that ever again. And if marriage happens to not work out I wont have to go through all the crap with auto bill pay, deposit changes, cancelling old accts and getting new accts...sheesh what a headache. Better with separate accounts.
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