koala76 Posted April 25, 2012 Posted April 25, 2012 Hello, A year I started a casual relationship with my ex-collegue (but close friend outside too), he is a very solitary man, has never been in long relationship, commitment phobic. But after a year, we still see each other and have wonderful moments together. I have never asked for more because i am an independent person too. But this year in March he went away to Brazil for 4 months. We did not promise ourselves anything. But i told him i am in love with him. He is very touched with that. And he asked to install Skype and opened an account on Facebook to keep in touch with me. He asked his parents to contact me so that i can go see visit them from time to time as he is the only child. I have never expected that from him. He writes me everyday on mails or via fb. And we started to Skype for 3 hours last week because i was scared of being too closed and getting hurt. He did not say much about our relationship but his acts tell me he cares. Writing everyday, sending me nice songs from youtube...I told him that i am ok with him being away and will wait for him. I am not afraid to tell him my love and he seems to like it and he says he needs my mails. But this week something weird happened, no news from him for a week. Weird because we have written to each other everyday the last 8 weeks apart. It happened in the past that he got scared when he got too comfortable with me (once we went for holidays for a week, it was wonderful and back home he disappeared for 10 days). He thinks maybe we are not in couple I let him free and did not demand anything. I just want to love him that way. But no news for a week is not normal especially he always says if he does not want me to continue or to write or to contact him, he will be direct, honest and will tell me. I know that he likes me and cares but he is scared. The only thing is his silence this week, maybe his mother informed him that we had lunch together this weekend and he is scared. i don't know what to do ? keep writing him like i did since a week with no answer (he always answered to all of my questions about his life over there and gives me opinions and advices about my job, etc..), i cannot keep on writing in silence, i cannot fuel a conversation by myself. However, stopping and waiting for him to answer might be a solution, right ? why did he stop giving news ? he is not scared of my love until now. He is easygoing, cool and so nice. I know that he likes me and was surprise of my love (because he saw me dumping so many exes...). i just don't know how to manage silence in the distance and i am worrying a bit. any advice for the next step ? knowing him, if i stop he will stop...i don't want to ask him why he did not write, he hates clingy girls...part of my strength with him is that i am very independent and i play it very cool so he could not easily get hold of me. but love should not be a game and i am really in love with him... please give some advices...
january2011 Posted April 25, 2012 Posted April 25, 2012 (edited) Speak to his mum. Tell her that you're concerned that you haven't heard from him and ask if she or her husband have. A dramatic shift in the frequency of contact, especially a reduction, suggests that something has happened, but there's not enough information to go on at the moment. Edited April 25, 2012 by january2011
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