Onewink Posted April 25, 2012 Posted April 25, 2012 Hi all! I am new here but got a strange question! Me and my ex were on and off for over two years. He was always trying to get me pregnant, do the important things in a relationship very casually ie; hiding my phone so I would be at his for the arrival of his Mother and family. He was always so sweet when we were together..but when we weren't that's when problems started. He was very jealous of anyone talking to me like someone was just going to whisk me away and I would be lost to him.. He used to take care of me even when we were not talking. On what I thought was the end, I got involved with a guy who later turned out to be one of his closest friends. This has ruined whatever we had and although he tries to let go..all he seems to do is to try and get a reaction from me..but when I last tried to call he got his daughter to answer asking me to leave a message. He never told me he loved me..not even once although he did tell me I was breaking his heart. I find out now that he has been posting songs and pictures that relate to our difficulties and also that he is Widowed. We were never married. Anyone have similar...what do you guys think?
Philosoraptor Posted April 25, 2012 Posted April 25, 2012 Sounds like a mixture of controlling and manipulation, combined with insecurity. What a mess. I think you should avoid this person as he does not seem mature enough for an adult relationship. 2
Zabs Posted April 25, 2012 Posted April 25, 2012 Welcome Wink! You're in good company here...I was in a similar situation to yourself and the only thing I can suggest is to distance yourself from him. It is real hard to see the wood from the trees in these kind of circumstances..give yourself a chance to breathe! To me it does sound like he isn't over you, but in what capacity? Is it that he truly misses you and is insecure within himself or is he manipulating (like what Philo said?) Either way you have a long road ahead how long is it since you were last in contact? 1
Zabs Posted April 25, 2012 Posted April 25, 2012 Ps - Widowed? I would imagine that if this guy has difficulty expressing his feelings..and it sure sounds like he has, posting Widowed would suggest that you meant much to him and he is still hurting? Much love, Zabs xxx 1
Author Onewink Posted April 25, 2012 Author Posted April 25, 2012 I called him almost 2 months back and he got his Daughter to answer..then he called me two weeks after that but didn't speak?? He is still posting things that relate to us and trying to get my attention. He seems to do everything in this way rather than say how he feels and it only is when he is at breaking point he is truly honest..but this has been going on a long time. ;'(
TaraMaiden Posted April 25, 2012 Posted April 25, 2012 in two words? Psy-cho. you really need advice on how to deal with this guy? Really....? Sorry hun, but isn't it obvious? Have absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with him ever again. Stay away from him, cease all contact and forge on with your life. Can't be any clearer than that!! 1
Author Onewink Posted April 26, 2012 Author Posted April 26, 2012 Just a quick update..he has been on here!!!
TaraMaiden Posted April 26, 2012 Posted April 26, 2012 ...what...lurking? As a registered member...? Does he know who "you" are....?
Author Onewink Posted April 26, 2012 Author Posted April 26, 2012 ...what...lurking? As a registered member...? Does he know who "you" are....? I don't know Maiden.. I don't suppose it wouldn't take long for him to work out assuming he acknowledges he has some responsibility in things going tits up! But he certainly is on here for some reason..I am just not sure why..perhaps he is looking for advice the same as me..
Zabs Posted April 26, 2012 Posted April 26, 2012 Just a quick update..he has been on here!!! Wow! This guy really is tenancious! It could be possible that he too is seeking some support himself as he does not sound the most emotionally stable of people. If anyone disagrees with that statement, I am sure they will let you know:D Much love, Zabs xx
Art_Critic Posted April 26, 2012 Posted April 26, 2012 I have 2 thoughts on this.. To me it might mean you are dead to him... The other thought is that are you sure he isn't really widowed ? there are a lot of scenarios where this could be true.
Author Onewink Posted April 26, 2012 Author Posted April 26, 2012 Well he never has been married..but he wanted a future with me. Apparently he feels that if you have to chase love it ain't worth having...I haven't contacted him in almost two months and he won't like that one bit. I think I am beginning to get my head round this now :-)
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