livelife Posted April 25, 2012 Posted April 25, 2012 (edited) We've been dating for 3 months now, he pays for everything, always opens the door. I've seen him cry, he has seen me cry. He told me just the other night that he has fallen for me. When I say dating for 3 months, I mean just dating. Not officially boyfriend and girlfriend. We are both in college, 20 years old. He is the guy for girlfriends. In short, he went on a work trip mid march and got drunk the last night he was there and texted me saying that he loved me and missed me so much. I simply told him that if that was true that he needed to tell me that in person. We have had a couple fights here and there but last night I finally cracked. I bursted into tears and asked him what we were, he said that the past 2 weeks have been phenomenal and that we were going in the right direction 100%. I kept crying and he asked me why and I told him that it wasn't the right time to say it. He kept saying he wished he could help and didn't know what to do and I finally cracked and told him I loved him and that it scared me. He just kissed me multiple times after and while I was still crying told me that I/it was going to be okay and not to worry. I apologized the next morning for what I did and what I said/ hoping it wouldn't push him away. he said not to apologize if I meant it and I said I did, and he said it definitely wasn't pushing him away. He told me again not to worry about it, about it pushing him away. I had to make sure I didn't make a mistake and he said it wasn't a mistake and it never will be. He claimed that it doesn't change anything negatively. What it all comes down to is that I do actually have these feelings for him, but I feel like by now, we would be officially boyfriend and girlfriend, his stuff still says single. I really hate to do this but really in about 2 weeks i'm thinking that I need to call it quits if it is going nowhere. What do you guys think? Why didn't he return the words and do you think he actually likes me/will ask me out? Edited April 25, 2012 by livelife
Oxy Moronovich Posted April 25, 2012 Posted April 25, 2012 I can't make heads or tails of this post. What are you talking about?
Author livelife Posted April 25, 2012 Author Posted April 25, 2012 haha I'm sorry. I probably rambled and didn't make a point. I'm wondering if he really likes me and if its worth dropping it in 2 weeks if nothing changes between us. I'm just sick of just "dating" for 3 months now, he has told me multiple times in the past when we got in arguments that he was going to ask me out, yet he still hasn't. I've been messed with in the past so I'm expecting him to just use me and not go any further with this. What do you think? Am I overreacting?
whichwayisup Posted April 25, 2012 Posted April 25, 2012 Wow you're too focussed on the actual words and if he means them. Don't his actions for the past bunch of months count? You've seen him cry, you two have bonded. Trust him and trust what two have together. Yes I think you're reacting and the emotions are making you feel too needy and clingy like you don't want to lose him because now you have the i love you stuff. Chill and just enjoy him and the relationship. Everything seems fine so don't go looking for trouble when there isn't any.
whichwayisup Posted April 25, 2012 Posted April 25, 2012 I'm just sick of just "dating" for 3 months now Okay, well just reading this other update - tell him that it's been 3 months and you assume he's your boyfriend but aren't sure if he thinks of you as his girlfriend. Though the actions and how two are, seem to say you ARE bf/gf.
wwwjd Posted April 25, 2012 Posted April 25, 2012 DON'T LET HIM OPEN DOORS FOR YOU! You are not weak, not feeble, not LESS than he is... stand up for all woman hood! DON'T enjoy the door opening! Put him in his place! Show him you are EQUAL to the task. inside joke
Author livelife Posted April 25, 2012 Author Posted April 25, 2012 I appreciate all of the responses! I know I probably shouldn't have told him last night how I felt, but it just came out. But okay thank you everyone:) I do tend to overreact and sometimes just need someone to tell me that I am so I can calm down. I will be patient a little longer since I did just mention it to him yesterday, so we will see. Thank you all
veggirl Posted April 25, 2012 Posted April 25, 2012 He is in love with you but won't declare you as his girlfriend? No no no. I would not be okay with that. I would tell him we are either OFFICIALLY in a relationship or we are just friends at this point.
Author livelife Posted April 25, 2012 Author Posted April 25, 2012 He is in love with you but won't declare you as his girlfriend? No no no. I would not be okay with that. I would tell him we are either OFFICIALLY in a relationship or we are just friends at this point. Granted he was drunk. But yes, I completely agree. I'm only giving it a couple more days and then I'm going to stand up...again:(
RiverRunning Posted April 25, 2012 Posted April 25, 2012 Talk to him as soon as you can about it. You don't have to be psycho and you don't have to be a push-over about it. "Hey, we've both said 'I love you' to each other and we both really enjoy each other's company. I was thinking that it's time we become official and exclusive. What do you think about that?" If he looks horrified, bail. If he's able to tell you what he thinks and he sees this as a positive approach, go for it. But if you're done just doing the non-exclusive thing, you have every right to be. I would think 3 months is about long enough to know if you want to be exclusive or not.
Author livelife Posted April 26, 2012 Author Posted April 26, 2012 Talk to him as soon as you can about it. You don't have to be psycho and you don't have to be a push-over about it. "Hey, we've both said 'I love you' to each other and we both really enjoy each other's company. I was thinking that it's time we become official and exclusive. What do you think about that?" If he looks horrified, bail. If he's able to tell you what he thinks and he sees this as a positive approach, go for it. But if you're done just doing the non-exclusive thing, you have every right to be. I would think 3 months is about long enough to know if you want to be exclusive or not. I agree, and in his defense I don't think he realized that it was bothering me until I talked to him about it, and today I have been posting things that are hints to me, and I take a nap and when I woke up he had left me flowers, a card, and he burned a cd with songs that reminded me of him, and on the card he said he did it just to show me how much I meant to him.
Author livelife Posted April 26, 2012 Author Posted April 26, 2012 sorry, typo. I meant hints to him* not hints to me...hints about me leaving
Recommended Posts