Cursed Posted April 24, 2012 Posted April 24, 2012 Hey Guys i really dont know what to do so maybe someone here can help me outta this mess: Background (short version): Met my ex gf 4 years ago when i was 19 and she was 17. It was our first relationship and went well for almost 3 years (had lots of ups and downs). About one year ago she started studying and left me (G.I.G.S) for another guy. I really went through hell at that time and suffered so extremely. We went NC, she blocked my calls and everything and about three months later she called me out of the blue and told me that she missed me and stuff. I was still so in love with her so we gave it another shot and had a good fourth year together (she quit her studying when she came back to me). NOW: Two months ago, she broke up with me again , said that she has a lot of family issues ( no one takes care of her little brother, parents divorced) and doesnt have the strength to stay with me and be there for me too. She said that it might have been a mistake to ever get back with me again and that she doesnt like our relationship (which was kinda boring, i admit) and wants to enjoy her life and stuff. I was a loving bf , although i neglected her sometimes and i forbade her to go out partying and stuff because i didnt trust her as much as i used to do. We went NC and a month ago she text messaged me asking me how i was etc.. I told her i was ok and asked her what she wants from me and i told her to not act like we were friends or something like that. She said she knows we are not friends we will never be. After that, again, NC. She logged into my facebook account ( still has my PW) and i found out, so i called her and she said she just wanted to see whats new etc. I decided to get back to NC and even did not congratulate her on her birthday. The Friday after that (a couple days ago) i went to a bar with two friends and she was also there, celebrating her birthday later which really gave me hell (we kinda live in the same small town). I tried to ignore her, so did she but later she looked at me and i just nodded and looked away. She came to our table to offer us a piece of cake but i refused. Getting back home, i was full of anger and it took me 1-2 hours to calm down a little. After that i felt so bad, i suddenly started to miss her like hell and text messaged her and congratulated her on her birthday. She said it was an odd feeling to see me at the bar and i told her indirectly that i was missing her and had the dream of marrying her one day which shattered. Today, i saw on FB that she had unfrieded me and send her a message asking whats the matter.. She told me she might have been drunk or something and asked me why i had gazed at another girl (she knows her) at a wedding a couple of months ago and told me it made it a little more easy to forget me. She also said she didnt feel good because she didnt know how her future would be and i asked to come over to her place to talk about all that but she refused and i kind of asked again and again and she kept getting more and more bugged and said she wanted to sleep and she didnt want to see me because she thinks i had some ulterior motives of getting back together etc. I told her that i really need to talk to her about everything and i cant wait forever and asked her if she actually wanted to see me and she said no. She said she would turn her phone off cause she wants to sleep and theres always tomorrow and then i said "wait, i might get engaged soon" and she said "wow, go ahead, if you think thats the right thing to do, hurry up and get married and end up like your brother, lol" (my brother married at the age of 23 which might have been too young) Anyways, now im really stuck in a complicated situation. I really miss her though i know that it might be better to forget her but i cant.. Shes always on my mind although i dont even know if i REALLY love her anymore because of the things she has done to me. I need to do something , i need your opinions on this please
gibson Posted April 25, 2012 Posted April 25, 2012 (edited) Go read all my (homebrew/gibson) threads regarding G.I.G.S. again... Look for the post where I break out the various Phases of G.I.G.S. (It's in the last page or two of the main G.I.G.S. thread) I think you will see what happened and why once you read it. Edited April 25, 2012 by gibson
rob_h Posted April 25, 2012 Posted April 25, 2012 Hey man, so I've been instructed to see this post by my superiors in GIGS theory and would like to tell you that I am in almost the same boat as you with my ex bf and if you wanted to talk about anything you can Private Message me or even share on here xx
Author Cursed Posted April 25, 2012 Author Posted April 25, 2012 Go read all my (homebrew/gibson) threads regarding G.I.G.S. again... Look for the post where I break out the various Phases of G.I.G.S. (It's in the last page or two of the main G.I.G.S. thread) I think you will see what happened and why once you read it. i have read some of the gigs stuff a year ago when she left me for the first time, its not really that i cant understand her behaviour , its just i dont know what to do... its an emotional rollercoaster, there are times when i say its best to go our seperate ways and then there are times when i think about getting back together and all that.. Hey man, so I've been instructed to see this post by my superiors in GIGS theory and would like to tell you that I am in almost the same boat as you with my ex bf and if you wanted to talk about anything you can Private Message me or even share on here xx thanks for reading my post.. as i mentioned above, its hard for me to forget since i have not given up hope to get her back ( although i dont know if i really truly love her) im trying to figure out whether its my ex that i am missing or the relationship in general or the time we spent together. all i know is that there are times when i am going crazy. i feel so lost, dont know which way to go and how to get some peace of mind
gibson Posted April 25, 2012 Posted April 25, 2012 (edited) She still has G.I.G.S.... I told you to go read my phases post here (middle of the page): G.I.G.S. Phases Overview G.I.G.S. Phases Explained a little more Once you do that you will understand why the following is bad on your part: She said that it might have been a mistake to ever get back with me again and that she doesnt like our relationship (which was kinda boring, i admit) and wants to enjoy her life and stuff. I was a loving bf , although i neglected her sometimes and i forbade her to go out partying and stuff because i didnt trust her as much as i used to do. The Friday after that (a couple days ago) i went to a bar with two friends and she was also there, celebrating her birthday later which really gave me hell (we kinda live in the same small town). I tried to ignore her, so did she but later she looked at me and i just nodded and looked away. She came to our table to offer us a piece of cake but i refused. Getting back home, i was full of anger and it took me 1-2 hours to calm down a little. After that i felt so bad, i suddenly started to miss her like hell and text messaged her and congratulated her on her birthday. She said it was an odd feeling to see me at the bar and i told her indirectly that i was missing her and had the dream of marrying her one day which shattered. I told her that i really need to talk to her about everything and i cant wait forever and asked her if she actually wanted to see me and she said no. She said she would turn her phone off cause she wants to sleep and theres always tomorrow and then i said "wait, i might get engaged soon" and she said "wow, go ahead, if you think thats the right thing to do, hurry up and get married and end up like your brother, lol" (my brother married at the age of 23 which might have been too young) Edited April 25, 2012 by gibson
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