ednadean Posted April 24, 2012 Posted April 24, 2012 Hi guys, I'm a bit lost here and need some advice. I'm currently living in the UK. This new years, I met up with a guy from NY and we really hit it off and we had a two-night stand. It was never much more than that to be honest, but I really like him. We never really pursued much of a relationship, partly because it as awkward, and partly because he was leaving for NY after his UK trip. We became facebook friends -but he's never really been that active on his profile -- but occasionally would post random stuff like "hi, how are you" or "you must come to NY" on my wall. I would always respond -- but then get nothing. Then a few weeks ago out of the blue, he wrote me a proper email, asking me if I was coming to NY, and that he would love to see me. I then responded saying that i was actually coming and got no response. I half-followed up -- asking him places to stay, and he gave me a relatively cold response in terms of places to stay in NY. No phone number, no 'let me know when you're in town'. No other contact since. DILEMMA. I'm currently in NY. He knows my dates and I've made it clear on FB that I'm in NY. Should I contact him again letting him know I'm around? I don't want him to feel obliged to catchup. Or is it pretty clear that something happened between his initial keen-email -- and that I should just drop the whole thing? I just can't figure out what happened in between the keen-email and the non-keenness (pretty much just a day apart) Advice really appreciated
MrNate 2.0 Posted April 24, 2012 Posted April 24, 2012 Judging by the relationship between you two, seems the only thing you two have going on is just sex. Seeing this is the case, just be prepared for the fact that he may not see you, and just enjoy yourself in NY. 1
sid3 Posted April 24, 2012 Posted April 24, 2012 His cold reply says it all IMO. Sorry but he doesn't sound that great anyhow.
Ruby Slippers Posted April 24, 2012 Posted April 24, 2012 You've made it clear you're in the area. If he hasn't responded to your messages so far, don't bother contacting him again. If a guy wants to see you, the tiniest hint that it's a possibility will bring him around. It could be that he has a gf or wife here in the States - or he's just not interested in seeing you again. Lucky for you, NY is full of sexy men. Forget this chump, and go out and have some fun with them, girlie. 2
musemaj11 Posted April 24, 2012 Posted April 24, 2012 I hope you arent in NY for that guy because if so then thats really pathetic.
Author ednadean Posted April 24, 2012 Author Posted April 24, 2012 I hope you arent in NY for that guy because if so then thats really pathetic. ummm no. here for my own purposes -- but would have liked to see him. part of me thinks, what have i got to lose? but yes, definitely don't want to come across as a stalker or desperate.
mostlyclueless Posted April 24, 2012 Posted April 24, 2012 Definitely get in touch with him one more time. Based on almost nothing, I would hazard a guess he is seeing someone else and isn't sure how to navigate this. 2
crazylove Posted April 25, 2012 Posted April 25, 2012 Definitely get in touch with him one more time. Based on almost nothing, I would hazard a guess he is seeing someone else and isn't sure how to navigate this. I agree, think you should contact once more and if no response then move on:)
CC12 Posted April 25, 2012 Posted April 25, 2012 (edited) OP, if I were in your shoes, I'd send a quick message saying, "Hey, I'm in town. I'm going to X place tonight, so if you want to meet up, I'll be there." No pressure. Not desperate or stalker-ish. I'd be prepared for him to not show up, though. He doesn't sound that interested. But, hey, why not go for it? You're not looking to start a relationship with him or anything, right? Edited April 25, 2012 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
mortensorchid Posted April 25, 2012 Posted April 25, 2012 Don't set yourself up for a disappointment, sounds like you will be. He'd make more of an effort to see you if he really wanted to.
Author ednadean Posted April 25, 2012 Author Posted April 25, 2012 OK -- so I did a final last ditch attempt. and he sent me a long text saying that he would love to have a drink with me tomorrow. thanks or the advice everyone! the thing is, I don't want to be his f-buddy or one-night stand girl. I'd like to be friends, and if I move here, even have a chance at a relationship. The drink is near his apt in manhattan. I think it's pretty obvious what he's going to try on. Even though I would like to sleep with him -- will it be a mistake in terms of having a potential shot at making it work?
MrNate 2.0 Posted April 25, 2012 Posted April 25, 2012 OK -- so I did a final last ditch attempt. and he sent me a long text saying that he would love to have a drink with me tomorrow. thanks or the advice everyone! the thing is, I don't want to be his f-buddy or one-night stand girl. I'd like to be friends, and if I move here, even have a chance at a relationship. The drink is near his apt in manhattan. I think it's pretty obvious what he's going to try on. Even though I would like to sleep with him -- will it be a mistake in terms of having a potential shot at making it work? Just something to think about. The relationship between you two so far has been based around sex. If you sleep with him, again, do you think he's going to be like 'hey, I all of a sudden want you as a girlfriend now' ? If you want more out of this, then it would probably be best to hold off on the sex, and tell him what you're looking for. Don't set yourself up for disappointment. I'm a barbie. I know these things. 2
PlumPrincess Posted April 25, 2012 Posted April 25, 2012 I'd say, the signs indicate that he lost interest and usually that means that it's because he met someone else.
InJest Posted April 25, 2012 Posted April 25, 2012 I doubt he'd want a relationship with you. If you move to NY he'll be one of the only people you know and you'd probably be really clingy, and I don't think many guys would want to be in that position. I could be wrong, but I just don't see him wanting to get serious.
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