slinger77 Posted April 24, 2012 Posted April 24, 2012 I'm a 25 year old male from maryland and recently broke up with a very close friend of mine, I liked her for a while and we both started dating. We only dated for 4 months, but I had already developed very strong feelings for her, (knowing her for the past 6-7 years and then finally dating) she's the perfect girl for me. When we broke up she said "I just don't have those feelings for you, it's nothing you did, or didn't do, I just still feel like its more of a friendship still". But its the exact opposite of how I feel, and I'm having a hard time accepting that. In our short relationship I wasn't the most affectionate person because I'm kind of shy when it comes to that stuff, but she knows that and we got along great, but I did take her out a lot and treated her very well. The first 3 months were great, everything was awesome. Then the last month I could tell something was wrong and sure enough I'm finding myself writing threads because I don't know how else to cope with this. I feel like she does have those feelings for me, I just did a bad job of digging them up. there's a curveball though, she also liked another man (about 4 months before we dated) who did not want her. and I'm wondering if she isnt completely over him yet and thats why maybe she didn't have those feelings toward me. I guess my question is, should I give up on her? or should I do "no contact" and see what happens? its hard though bc we have a lot of the same friends.....someone please help!!
5-F Dawg Posted April 25, 2012 Posted April 25, 2012 in your situation...you need to heal first. get out keep your self busy. the only way to do that is nc...if you go otherwise then you will be "unattractive" in a sense to her...if you say she the perfect girl for you then give her, her space and see what happens.... the best thing you can do is get out meet new friends and new acquaintances...maybe take a qucik break from your friends...DONT bad mouth her to your friends as that will only cause drama and make you and her look bad...things always get back to the other person....
Philosoraptor Posted April 25, 2012 Posted April 25, 2012 In this situation you should avoid contact with someone whom you want more from, but is clear doesn't want you the same way. You wouldn't dangle food in front of starving children would you? Her feelings didn't grow the same way yours did. It happens all the time whether or not you were friends before or not.
Frank13 Posted April 25, 2012 Posted April 25, 2012 (edited) I guess my question is, should I give up on her? or should I do "no contact" and see what happens? its hard though bc we have a lot of the same friends.....someone please help!! Take it from someone who has been in this situation. When someone says they don't have those type of feelings, they don't. The best thing you can do is cut her out of your life now. Otherwise you will cling to false hope, and combined with wanting what you can't have, which will just make your feelings and desire for her grow more, and another guy she is interested in, will set you up for pure hell and torture. The sooner you can get out of this the better. Of course you will say you want her as a friend because you will miss the friendship, but reread what I wrote above. These things never turn out good. There is no worse pain than unrequited love. I would not wish it on my worst enemy. You don't get the person, you don't get the relationship, and your ego gets kicked in the balls. You can't be friends with her. The friendship ended when you got feelings for her. Edited April 25, 2012 by Frank13
Recommended Posts