xxSRMxx Posted April 24, 2012 Posted April 24, 2012 The way I've behaved in the break up has been so destructive that I ruined any chance I had of even getting him back... which could have been possible. Now he thinks im a psycho...It really bugs me that he has this opinion of me now, he said maybe a few months down the line we can be friends but for now he does not want to speak to me. Why did i have to use such self destructive behaviour?? even all the warnings i had from family, friends, on here...numerous websites and books. Yet i still did not listen. I just feel like such an ass....
Nohbody Posted April 24, 2012 Posted April 24, 2012 Rocky Balboa best inspirational speech ever (Subtitles) - YouTube 2
BewitchedandBothered Posted April 24, 2012 Posted April 24, 2012 The way I've behaved in the break up has been so destructive that I ruined any chance I had of even getting him back... which could have been possible. Now he thinks im a psycho...It really bugs me that he has this opinion of me now, he said maybe a few months down the line we can be friends but for now he does not want to speak to me. Why did i have to use such self destructive behaviour?? even all the warnings i had from family, friends, on here...numerous websites and books. Yet i still did not listen. I just feel like such an ass.... Now you know that that kind of behavior doesn't work in your or anyone's favor. It pushed someone away even more to the point of burning a bridge. Chalk this up as a HUGE learning and healing experience for you. He wasn't a true friend to begin with. You are stronger than you know.
Author xxSRMxx Posted April 24, 2012 Author Posted April 24, 2012 Now you know that that kind of behavior doesn't work in your or anyone's favor. It pushed someone away even more to the point of burning a bridge. Chalk this up as a HUGE learning and healing experience for you. He wasn't a true friend to begin with. You are stronger than you know. Thats exactly what it will have to be, a huge learning experience, I don't want to be one of those people who are still feeling broken hearted in two years time, its just not the route I want to take. But, I just cant help feeling that I will always see him as ''the one that got away.'' I just can't, just had another cry. Really bugs me now that he thinks im an absolute nutjob, itll take any good memories we had right away from him.
jennisfora Posted April 24, 2012 Posted April 24, 2012 SRM....you were the one that got away...not him. *hugs*
Author xxSRMxx Posted April 24, 2012 Author Posted April 24, 2012 Thanks, I guess when im better in myself itll be his loss.
Mr Scorpio Posted April 25, 2012 Posted April 25, 2012 But, I just cant help feeling that I will always see him as ''the one that got away.'' Maybe you will. Maybe you won't. Hopefully you wont end up like me. Not only did she get away, but so did the six-years of my life I spent waiting for her, and the two years of mourning since then. Learn from the mistakes of others. You are young. You have time. Worry about molding yourself into the best person you can be, so that when you do find someone you want to spend the rest of your life with, you'll be in a position to do so. I neglected to work on me because nothing else mattered except for being with her. In the end, that was what cost me her.
Author xxSRMxx Posted April 25, 2012 Author Posted April 25, 2012 Maybe you will. Maybe you won't. Hopefully you wont end up like me. Not only did she get away, but so did the six-years of my life I spent waiting for her, and the two years of mourning since then. Learn from the mistakes of others. You are young. You have time. Worry about molding yourself into the best person you can be, so that when you do find someone you want to spend the rest of your life with, you'll be in a position to do so. I neglected to work on me because nothing else mattered except for being with her. In the end, that was what cost me her. Yeah, I agree. I just HATE the thought of being known as the psycho ex because thats so not what i am like! Im going to continue working on myself, keeping no contact and staying away from the booze!! I kind of think he was the right person, but at the wrong time. When I look back on it now, we were both in different stages of our lives.. Hes trying to save money and build his home up, I just want to spend money and enjoy myself as i still live at home with no debts... Whatever will be will be I guess, I hope one day we can be friends again (only when im fully over him) Im moving to Spain for the summer in 6 weeks.... Im trying to focus on that now.
BewitchedandBothered Posted April 25, 2012 Posted April 25, 2012 Yeah, I agree. I just HATE the thought of being known as the psycho ex because thats so not what i am like! Im going to continue working on myself, keeping no contact and staying away from the booze!! I kind of think he was the right person, but at the wrong time. When I look back on it now, we were both in different stages of our lives.. Hes trying to save money and build his home up, I just want to spend money and enjoy myself as i still live at home with no debts... Whatever will be will be I guess, I hope one day we can be friends again (only when im fully over him) Im moving to Spain for the summer in 6 weeks.... Im trying to focus on that now. there is nothing you can do about what you think he thinks or says. What he thinks/says is his problem, not yours. My ex told everyone I am a psycho--he says this about all of the ladies he was involved with. those who know me know he is deceitful, and those who don't know me, simply sided with him-those are people who are not in my life, LOL. It sucks to not have any control over that sort of thing, but.....maybe he's worried you think he's a jerk. The important thing is that you know who you are and that you are true to yourself. And to heck what he thinks. What you feel about you far surpasses what anyone else thinks.
Philosoraptor Posted April 25, 2012 Posted April 25, 2012 The way I've behaved in the break up has been so destructive that I ruined any chance I had of even getting him back... which could have been possible. Now he thinks im a psycho...It really bugs me that he has this opinion of me now, he said maybe a few months down the line we can be friends but for now he does not want to speak to me. Why did i have to use such self destructive behaviour?? even all the warnings i had from family, friends, on here...numerous websites and books. Yet i still did not listen. I just feel like such an ass.... Oh we all do things that we regret. All we can do is accept that it happened and learn from it so we do not make the same mistakes in the future. The truth is that anyone who truly knew you as a person would realize you were hurting and would forgive you. I'd be surprised if this isn't the case for you in the long run. Sure the "crazy ex" term is used at the start, but that gives us strength to move on... to be able to say that the ex was no good anyways so there is no looking back. During the anger phase you grasp onto everything you can in order to push yourself away from the relationship. By the time you reach acceptance you can see clearly and know what was said and why they were said. But really, you needn't worry about such things. If he holds onto his anger forever he will never be able to heal. It's the same if you can't learn to forgive yourself. Sure you made a mistake, we all do. I don't think there is anyone who can say they were absoultely perfect. What they can do is accept that they took action out of hurt and it wasn't their finest moment. But they forgive themselves and let it go. You can't let another's opinion of you affect you. It's called self esteem for a reason. 2
Eternal Sunshine Posted April 25, 2012 Posted April 25, 2012 You can make something of your life for YOURSELF and as a side effect, it will erase the "psycho" image in his mind. 1
Author xxSRMxx Posted April 25, 2012 Author Posted April 25, 2012 Thanks for your words of encouragement guys, they help an awful lot. I had therapy today, he said the same...to stop beating myself up over it... to get this negative critic inside my head out. I felt alot better when I left. The ''psycho ex'' thing sure will be forgotten when im past this and looking more so fabulous than usual! I hope i can feel nothing for him one day, when I learn to love myself more Im sure ill be able to face things with more strength. I believe I'm in this situation for a reason...
LostGirl11 Posted April 25, 2012 Posted April 25, 2012 What did you actually do to make him think that you're a psycho?
Exit Posted April 25, 2012 Posted April 25, 2012 Lol there are probably a handful of girls walking around this planet who still think of me as a total nutcase because of how insane I used to act when I got dumped. I've made quite the ass of myself before. You live and learn.
LostGirl11 Posted April 25, 2012 Posted April 25, 2012 Just read your other threads. We've all done crazy stuff when we've been dumped. We don't think like rational adults, we just act on our hurt and anger. I'm still learning how to fight the urges but I some how manage it. Just ask yourself one thing...'Why do I want somoene that doesn't want me?' I have no idea why but when I ask myself this it kind of helps. 1
Author xxSRMxx Posted April 25, 2012 Author Posted April 25, 2012 Well i was under the influence of ALOT of alcohol at these psycho times so ive kind of forgiven myself.....staying away from the booze though now!! Ive lost my dignity, its time for me to get it back. I act alot of my emotions, ive always wore my heart on my sleeve so it was always expected i was gonna go a bit loopy lol.
LostGirl11 Posted April 26, 2012 Posted April 26, 2012 Try not to act on them anymore. Have you contacted him since this thread?
Author xxSRMxx Posted April 26, 2012 Author Posted April 26, 2012 Nopee not a peep! and dont plan to either..
ScienceGal Posted April 29, 2012 Posted April 29, 2012 Nopee not a peep! and dont plan to either.. Good. I made the mistake of begging for an ex to come back. I took responsibility for things that were not my fault. I drank a lot too, and it made me feel so low and so lonely. I was desperate and he called me "crazy". But someone that truly knows and values you will be able to discern between "drunk and emotional" and "psycho". For me, I loved him but the relationship was not working. I didn't want to let go though, so I kept a lot bottled up and it would burst out when I drank. I hope time will give you some perspective and you can stop shouldering all the blame. You seem like a good and caring person. The best thing you can do is keep moving on and find happiness Good luck.
Author xxSRMxx Posted April 29, 2012 Author Posted April 29, 2012 Good. I made the mistake of begging for an ex to come back. I took responsibility for things that were not my fault. I drank a lot too, and it made me feel so low and so lonely. I was desperate and he called me "crazy". But someone that truly knows and values you will be able to discern between "drunk and emotional" and "psycho". For me, I loved him but the relationship was not working. I didn't want to let go though, so I kept a lot bottled up and it would burst out when I drank. I hope time will give you some perspective and you can stop shouldering all the blame. You seem like a good and caring person. The best thing you can do is keep moving on and find happiness Good luck. Thanks well i havent got in touch either, however i did send his grandmother a little card with a handwritten note apologising for the trouble outside her house last week, It was something i felt i had to do, I kept it short and sweet and didnt mention him, just that I was sorry for my behaviour and didnt meant to cause her stress and worry...... to which he set a facebook status to ''the irony of it all'' - fool. Ive deactivated fb now, he doesnt deserve to know what im doing.
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