Get Ex-GF Back

[steven562]

This is my first post so please bare with me. Ok, here is a brief story of our relationship!

 

I am 29 years old and my now ex-girlfriend is 22 and a single mom, I live about 2 hours away from her. We would spend weeks at a time with each other so the distance was never a problem. Everything was going great till around christmas time when her baby's dad mother sent her an email to go to florida so they could see her daughter. I didnt want her to go but had no choice and told her to be back before my birthday which was two weeks later! She didnt come back for about a month and would ignore me the hole time she was there. While she was there she did tell me she wasnt sure if she was gona come back because her babys dad asked her to stay and work things out! She eventually came back home and we continued with our relationship. We have been together for about a year and a half. About two weeks ago she broke with me saying she was not happy anymore. Prior to this breakup she tried to leave me a few times but I would always beg her to stay and tell her that I would change. Each time it worked but this time she told me to leave her alone to not beg her, to let her see how it is without me in her life. I left her alone. and the following day she tried to call me but I ignored her calls, that following morning she texted me upset saying "are you really gona ignore my calls/and texts ***k it bye take care! I continued to ignore her. It has been two weeks since our breakup and we have started to talk to each other every night for hours, we even had phone sex almost every night! Last night i asked her about us and where its going and she said we are just sex partners basiclly she wants to be friends with benefits, I told her I wanted to work things out and she told me shes not ready to lets take it day by day! She asked me to go visit her this Saturday to basiclly have sex but I am not sure I want to go. I really want to have sex with her and hope this would lead to something more but I know more then likely it will not! I have to go out there to her town anyways due to the fact that I left my motorcycle at her moms house the last time I was out there and have been to emotionally depressed to go pick it up. I want to make things work with her, I love her deeply and have been there for her since day one, financially, emotionally, physically for her daughter basiclly everything possible. What should I do to get her back on my level? Sorry for such a long story!

[Reddice]

You won't have sex with her if you know what's good for you. You still have feelings for her, so "friends" is not really an option. Friends with benefits will be even worse, since it will only serve to "benefit" her at this stage. You will come out worse each and every time. She told you clearly that she doesn't want to be in a relationship with you. Fine! Then tell her clearly what you expect from her as well. In my opinion it would be either a relationship or nothing at all. There is no middle ground. Though I would recommend you to just pull away altogether. No offense, but from what you've told us nothing good can come of it. She doesn't respect you whatsoever. Quite frankly, it sounds like you're more a rebound than anything else.

[flitzanu]

This is my first post so please bare with me. Ok, here is a brief story of our relationship!

 

I am 29 years old and my now ex-girlfriend is 22 and a single mom, I live about 2 hours away from her. We would spend weeks at a time with each other so the distance was never a problem. Everything was going great till around christmas time when her baby's dad mother sent her an email to go to florida so they could see her daughter. I didnt want her to go but had no choice and told her to be back before my birthday which was two weeks later! She didnt come back for about a month and would ignore me the hole time she was there. While she was there she did tell me she wasnt sure if she was gona come back because her babys dad asked her to stay and work things out! She eventually came back home and we continued with our relationship. We have been together for about a year and a half. About two weeks ago she broke with me saying she was not happy anymore. Prior to this breakup she tried to leave me a few times but I would always beg her to stay and tell her that I would change. Each time it worked but this time she told me to leave her alone to not beg her, to let her see how it is without me in her life. I left her alone. and the following day she tried to call me but I ignored her calls, that following morning she texted me upset saying "are you really gona ignore my calls/and texts ***k it bye take care! I continued to ignore her. It has been two weeks since our breakup and we have started to talk to each other every night for hours, we even had phone sex almost every night! Last night i asked her about us and where its going and she said we are just sex partners basiclly she wants to be friends with benefits, I told her I wanted to work things out and she told me shes not ready to lets take it day by day! She asked me to go visit her this Saturday to basiclly have sex but I am not sure I want to go. I really want to have sex with her and hope this would lead to something more but I know more then likely it will not! I have to go out there to her town anyways due to the fact that I left my motorcycle at her moms house the last time I was out there and have been to emotionally depressed to go pick it up. I want to make things work with her, I love her deeply and have been there for her since day one, financially, emotionally, physically for her daughter basiclly everything possible. What should I do to get her back on my level? Sorry for such a long story!

 

so first thing, she ran off to see her baby daddy and didn't talk to you the whole time, and even told you that she was possibly gonna work things out with him? dude...she slept with him, you know that right? when she was visiting, they DID sleep together.

 

so this girl basically left, cheated, and came back.

 

now she wants to dump you and still have sex? no. firstly, sex isn't going to "make her want you back".

 

this girl is bad news, leave now.

[steven562]

I did ask her if she slept with her baby's father and she told me no, of course! I do trust her and want to believe her. She did talk to me from time to time when she was out there with her baby's father but it would only be during the morning or day. Once the night and evening came into play she would disappear and not call or text or even attempt to respond or answer my calls. To the response that I am a rebound, this is not true because she has not been in a relationship for over 2 years and she hasnt seen her baby's father in over 3 years. When she did come back she did end up choosing to stay and we were together for about another 3 months till this happened. We have talked the past few days except for last night she did not call me or text me and we have had phone sex a few times and she told me "would you rather have me call you or call someone else?" I just want her back! I love her to death and am having a really terrible time dealing with this. I had an ex before her that I was with for 8 years and I was not devastated and hurt as much as I am now with this one.

Edited April 25, 2012 by steven562
forgot to add anothe detail

[flitzanu]

I did ask her if she slept with her baby's father and she told me no, of course! I do trust her and want to believe her. She did talk to me from time to time when she was out there with her baby's father but it would only be during the morning or day. Once the night and evening came into play she would disappear and not call or text or even attempt to respond or answer my calls. To the response that I am a rebound, this is not true because she has not been in a relationship for over 2 years and she hasnt seen her baby's father in over 3 years. When she did come back she did end up choosing to stay and we were together for about another 3 months till this happened. We have talked the past few days except for last night she did not call me or text me and we have had phone sex a few times and she told me "would you rather have me call you or call someone else?" I just want her back! I love her to death and am having a really terrible time dealing with this. I had an ex before her that I was with for 8 years and I was not devastated and hurt as much as I am now with this one.

 

but again dude, sorry, but she did sleep with him. she wouldn't have went back and suddenly decided she wanted to work things out with him if nothing was going on. obviously she's never going to admit this. she already sounds shady if she was dodging your calls and texts anyway.

 

and wow, she really said that about phone sex? "would you rather me call you or call someone else?" i'd be asking her who she thinks she is. she's trying to make herself sound a little lofty and sound like she can get whoever she wants and you should just be lucky she even called.

 

is that what you really want out of a relationship?

[steven562]

no that is not what i want at all, i want it to be like it used to be..GREAT! But i know this relationship is hopeless im just trying not to give up hope at all. I kno I have to go pick up my motorcycle from her parents house but I am trying to use that as a tool! She will call me excitied when she is at her moms because she is trying to learn how to ride and will ask me for pointers. I am just not emotionally ready to take a bus 2 hours away and know that, it will be my last time in her city and have to ride it home either really depressed or really angry!

 

And she didnt say that about phone sex she was implying that will real physical sex, that is why she asked me when my next two days off were so I could go out there and give her some! In my head I kind of want to go and give it to her, the best she ever had and hope it will change things! I even got a few Viagra pills so i kno i will last longer then ever! =/

[leoc1973]

Your only chance with this girl is to blow her off tell her to go to hell and maybe it will shock her system. She has all the power and she is young and selfish and that is a really crappy combination for you.

 

Its like a child. If they keep doing things wrong with no real punishment then they will keep doing it. Actually its even worse because you are rewarding her for her wrongdoings. She knows the crappier she is to you the more your gonna kiss her ass.

 

You have begged her back several times and told her you will change? What do you need to change? You are totally screwed with this girl because you don't have the strength to put her in her place. She will keep doing this to you till she sees that you are just spineless and then she will start playing the field till she finds a guy that she does really wanna be with. Meanwhile you are fulfilling her sexual and emotional needs.

 

I can promise you that if you continue on this course you will lose her forever. You have to break it off with her and tell her that she can get ahold of you when she has grown up. And tell her thats if you haven't found her replacement yet. Thats your only chance. Read read and then read some more. Good luck man! OH next time she says she will get it somewhere else tell her to go ahead because you are going to go get it somewhere else too.