My husband is a roller coaster of emotions because of me, I had an affair!

April 25, 2012

^umm.....thats's good to here, Belle.....i guess.

now all you need is to be honest and forthright with your husband.

April 25, 2012

I think November-rain is in the best position to give her advice on the affair.

We also need to stop the thread jack and stop bashing Bella

April 25, 2012

November-Rain, I think I remember you from a few years ago.

Ignore the bashers here. They aren't even reading what you wrote. There are people here who will try to help you.

Look, I was in your husband's shoes. While I didn't act exactly the same as he did--I didn't check up on him constantly, I was unable to let the affair go that my H had over 3 years ago. He tried and tried to reassure me of his remorse and eventually he gave up.

We are now separated and will divorce when our youngest child turns 18 next year. He tried. I tried. Sometimes you just can't get ever get over the betrayal.

What you wrote is eerily similar to what my H has said and I hope you can avoid what happened to me.

I would suggest counseling for both of you. Individually at first (to determine if you individually want to save the marriage) and then as a couple. My husband and I waited too long.

April 25, 2012

As a general comment regarding threads like this, new common-sense guidelines will be announced shortly and will be pinned to the top of the forums. Posters who choose to ignore them will get vacations, all expenses paid.

I will use a thread like this to help form those guidelines. On-topic and civil discourse will be expected. Each member has choices; when to post; what to post; how to post.

Thanks for your participation. This thread has been edited. No vacations yet. I hope it stays that way.

April 25, 2012

He doesn't need to work on anything as he's well within his right to still be pissed. You know this from personal experience that the pain never really goes away and since he only knows of one affair she had 2 years ago his pain will still be fresh. This woman has had multiple affairs and never really loved her husband. She needs to "work" on herself.

It well may be his right to be pissed, but at some point he TOO has to have some loving kind and encouraging efforts to heal his marriage if he truly wants a future with this relationship!

I DO KNOW THAT from experience. A wonderful relationship is built on mutual RESPECT and they have to get there eventually or they will blow apart.

NO ONE will tolerate a punishing forever; nor should they.

He ALSO quit MC when it became uncomfortable for him, because it takes two to make a stronger marriage, and he bailed, probably because he was still nursing his hurt, like I did.

Look, if he wants to wallow in anger and bitterness and hypervigiliance and distrust forever, that IS his right.

But if he wants to forge new and create better, he has to start a path towards healing, and forgiveness and understanding.

If SHE wants to become a stronger, better partner, she too will have to do the work necessary, and she too will have to come to forgive herself so she can grow into that.

And yes, you are right, I KNOW completely what I am talking about 4.5 years after dday and happily reconciled.

April 25, 2012

Plan give her a f*cking break. She lost herself- stop nit picking and looking at archive evidence. She is learning now the hard way to deal with the consequences of her actions. I would actually be surprised if she had had no wandering thoughts BEFORE said affair; these things don't spring out of nowhere. It is unfortunate that she chose to go against her vows of marriage rather than explore the options available to her before making such a commitment. But it seems she has genuinely learnt/is learning her lesson and the true meaning of infatuation versus real love.

April 25, 2012

November, how old were you when you started dating your husband?

April 25, 2012

After reading one of Rain's previous threads when her H discovered her A and pulled a gun on her, I fear for her safety. Personally, I think she has been through a lot with him.

Rain, your safety and that of your children are of up most importance. Please consider how he might react if he reads all the threads.

Háve you stayed in the M for your kids? Have they had to endure countless arguments between you and your H?

April 25, 2012

Trickle Truth is soooooo damaging to trust. Have you ever confessed anything to him without him having to ask first? Is everything A related stuff he found out on his own? The will absolutely kill trust. I have very little trust in my W because of her trickle truth.

Honestly if this had been my situation I'd have more trust:

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/marriage-life-partnerships/infidelity/192097-all-my-head-need-out

because he was honest. His betrayal was 10x worse than my W's but at least he was honest in the end. He wasn't discovered, he didn't lie when he finally came clean (according to his account)

Actually...edit that.....He should have told "who" from the start...but he did give emails and such. He claims he would have given in if she pushed harder. If it were me as the BS I would have pushed harder...and did. My WW also tried to hide the "who" for a short time.

Edited April 25, 2012 by Ninja'sHusband

April 25, 2012

OK then show your husband this thread and the other threads you've posted on Love Shack in 2006 and 2010.

Let him decide whether he thinks what happened in 2006 and which YOU at that time called an "emotional affair" was a second affair, or not.

Also he can decide whether or not he's satisfied with being married to a woman who has been in love with an OM since she was 14, and with indications that the cheating with the OM may have predated the marriage, at the least, in the emotional sense.

Let your husband decide. He deserves that, doesn't he?

This is a GREAT idea. It will show you can share things that are hard to share. It will begin to restore trust in a meaningful way. Truth when nothing iffy happened is not nearly as meaningful. "See I didn't cheat! I'm honest!" and having it be true helps...a little tiny bit. But what about the next day, did you cheat then? Now if you were to expose something like this thread or the others...THAT'S HUGE VULNERABILITY! He may be hurt by what he reads and you may well have to deal with consequences of that...but at least you will have started to show that you can be real and he will appreciate that.

What makes this thread risky? The fact that you are hiding it and that he might discover more sneakyness + all the stuff contained there in. The lies are the worst thing though.

I've already told my WW that I talk with people online, but I do only post when she's not looking. I think I'll go reiterate to her right now that if she wants links I've give them to her. Not meant for her eyes...but w/e. If she really wants to read...let her.

[edit] again...and I told her...and she doesn't care. Why? Because it's not a secret. No mystery. She trusts me

Edited April 25, 2012 by Ninja'sHusband

April 25, 2012

I rarely get any time alone or privacy-someone is always with me.

Do you blame him for that or not understand that he is now going to be suspicious if you engage in any activities that would seem suspect? Like going out with "the girls" or socializing over drinks? Not saying you do that, but I think alot of WSs need to lose the privileges of a trusting spouse for a while anyway.

Does it ever get better? It's been 2 yrs. and it's still hard to live with the guilt, because some way some how I am constantly reminded of what I have done.

Although I wouldn't know first hand because I divorced my X, but I imagine 2 years still isn't a whole lot of time. I can only hope, for his own sake, that he can gain some peace of mind sometime in the near future.

April 25, 2012

Jthorne-Counseling did not work because my husband thought our MC was to liberal in her thoughts and she said he needed anger management classes. He felt she was siding too much with me and not letting me take the whole responsibility for the affair. She assigned for us to go on dates without the kids and spend more than 3 hours together to get to know one another again and reconnect. That angered him because he did not think it was the appropriate time to do that. He told her that he felt it was like a reward for my infidelity.

I asked my husband last night if he wanted to start MC again, and he said NO!

He did say, If I need to see one to go right ahead and do so.

My resistance in sharing these threads with my husband is simply because I do not want him to re-live ugly details that caused him so much pain. I'm not hiding anything from him to be sneaky- it's just that a lot of what I wrote a couple of years ago, I was in fear for my life and this was my only safe haven at the time. Just not sure how that would benefit him to read those ugly details I would imagine he would feel ashamed and embarrassed for his violent behavior, as I am for the shameful acts I've committed. Enlighten me, and guide me to realize how this might not be a good idea to still keep it from him. Despite some really bad days, we have made progress. He called me from work this morning and said he loved me and did not want a divorce, he does that a lot. I do not blame him, I feel it's all part of the process in healing.

One thing that is positive in our lives is that we both love our children very much and we seldom fight in front of them anymore, If you remember 2 yrs. ago it was quite different it, was violent and very scary. I had him move out for 4 months, I thought for sure back then we were headed for divorce. He did get some sort of anger therapy at his job by a fellow officer during that time. I did notice the difference, it did help. Whenever he does get angry I refuse to engage him, I just stay quite till he calms down, and when he does we then proceed to discuss whatever is bothering him in regards to the affair. If he has more questions I am as honest as I can possibly be, it's not easy at all, I still struggle with it, because it it so embarrassing to tell someone you love that you were a horrible person! It may sound dramatic to some, but that's the way I feel. I weep for the person I was for that period of time. I live with immense guilt, it's very shameful-it really consumes me at times, as it does my husband, I also see how sad he gets, that's when it hits me the most. I'm used to his anger, but the sadness in him kills me.

Thank you, I have heard of marriage builders, I will give it a try. A lot of you have been very helpful with your advice, It is so much appreciated. I am learning, I am not perfect, I have made some huge mistakes, it's difficult to see yourself in the mirror and not like what you see. I want to work on making my husband love me for the person he once married, hopefully I can.

April 25, 2012

It well may be his right to be pissed, but at some point he TOO has to have some loving kind and encouraging efforts to heal his marriage if he truly wants a future with this relationship!

There's no "may" about it, and he doesn't have to do a thing considering she's the one who dealt the blows. And this is not even a real relationship. It was a lie from the beginning so there's no repairing what was never there, and even if that weren't the case he'd still be well within his right to be pissed. Let's see how long they'll last once he finds out about the true nature of their "relationship."

I DO KNOW THAT from experience. A wonderful relationship is built on mutual RESPECT and they have to get there eventually or they will blow apart.

And no mutual respect has been reciprocated on her part during the whole time she knew this man. A wonderful relationship is not built on lies and cheating. It is built on truth and loyalty and so far she's proved she's loyal to those who are not her husband.

NO ONE will tolerate a punishing forever; nor should they.

And no one should be deceived and manipulated into staying in a false marriage forever. It's not punishment when someone is angry. That's ignorance to someone's feelings. The "get over it" one-liner never works in reality.

He ALSO quit MC when it became uncomfortable for him, because it takes two to make a stronger marriage, and he bailed, probably because he was still nursing his hurt, like I did.

So what if he refused to go to MC? Maybe he had a definitive reason. Maybe the counselor was biased and was in too much favor of his wife, which is very common in regards to marital counselors. It takes one to screw up a marriage permanently by cheating.

Look, if he wants to wallow in anger and bitterness and hypervigiliance and distrust forever, that IS his right.

"Bitterness, hyper vigilance and distrust?" The man has been betrayed and you phrase it as if it was decades ago. It's always the women, whether they cheated or not, that love to use the word "bitter" to describe a man who has feelings. That's just plain ignorant. If one wants to bury their head in the sand, be a backstabbing conniving liar and blameshift their own calculating actions, then that is their right, but it is foolish to be surprised when there's blowback in the face.

But if he wants to forge new and create better, he has to start a path towards healing, and forgiveness and understanding.

He can move on his own way and it doesn't have to include putting up with a cheater and being in denial, especially one who has decided that covering up her other affairs that her husband even doesn't know about would suit her purposes better.

If SHE wants to become a stronger, better partner, she too will have to do the work necessary, and she too will have to come to forgive herself so she can grow into that.

No such thing as forgiving oneself. It's just a "fancy" way of saying that what one did wasn't so bad. Another form of warped justification.

The only decent thing she can do right now is to either divorce her husband, or tell him everything he deserves to know, which means telling him that their relationship was a lie from the start. Anything other than that is just more lies and attempt to cover that ass.

And yes, you are right, I KNOW completely what I am talking about 4.5 years after dday and happily reconciled.

Oh no please slow down there. I stated that you know from personal experience, not that everything you said was completely correct.

April 25, 2012

Jthorne-Counseling did not work because my husband thought our MC was to liberal in her thoughts and she said he needed anger management classes. He felt she was siding too much with me and not letting me take the whole responsibility for the affair. She assigned for us to go on dates without the kids and spend more than 3 hours together to get to know one another again and reconnect. That angered him because he did not think it was the appropriate time to do that. He told her that he felt it was like a reward for my infidelity.

November the only good thing you can do right now is to show him your posts here on LS and let him decide on whether he wants to stay with you or not after he learns the truth. You keeping this from him only makes matters worse. It is not your moral decision to keep this from him. He deserves to know about your history with these men.

April 25, 2012

Plan-GEEZ...I thought I had issues, you definitely are a piece of work!

For the last time my husband knows about the affair. I don't have a primary affair going on, it's been over for 2yr. The only thing he doesn't know is that I post here. The 2006 guy, was brought up during MC, my husband did not make much of it, and I was not going to push it either. He was to angry about the actual affair that did happen. 2006 guy never was an affair, nothing happened, he never made moves and neither did I. I would have never followed through back then, even though our marriage was most likely in trouble. It took the guy I knew since I was 14, for some strange reason back then, to make it justifiable. My thought process was all jacked up, and to be quite frank I do not recognize that person I once was. The guy I had the affair with I had known since I was 14yrs. old he was my first love and stupidly so, I looked to him for love, attention, friendship, etc...that I so thought I was not getting at home. Consumed with day to day struggles with children, tough part of marriage, no communication, seldom with my husband....I made the biggest mistake of my life, and now I am paying for it. That it sounds like it's all self pity, maybe it is, but I don't know how else to receive help and vent out my feelings. It just helps to be here. Actually I have learned quite a bit from being on here. If you don't like it...OH WELL!!

Lets put a gun to your head and see if you are willing afterwards to show threads you have posted here, I do not want to go there if I don't have to. If there is a way we can continue to heal our marriage without having to bring up anger issues within my husband I would certainly accept any advice. Let me clarify to you, that I do expect my husband to continue on being angry and hurt for a very long time, that's why I am here, I still need guidance. What I have been old it can take from 3-5 yrs. or maybe a lifetime, not sure, however, either way I am trying to stay sane and help my husband and our marriage heal.

April 25, 2012

There's no "may" about it, and he doesn't have to do a thing considering she's the one who dealt the blows. And this is not even a real relationship. It was a lie from the beginning so there's no repairing what was never there, and even if that weren't the case he'd still be well within his right to be pissed. Let's see how long they'll last once he finds out about the true nature of their "relationship."

And no mutual respect has been reciprocated on her part during the whole time she knew this man. A wonderful relationship is not built on lies and cheating. It is built on truth and loyalty and so far she's proved she's loyal to those who are not her husband.

And no one should be deceived and manipulated into staying in a false marriage forever. It's not punishment when someone is angry. That's ignorance to someone's feelings. The "get over it" one-liner never works in reality.

So what if he refused to go to MC? Maybe he had a definitive reason. Maybe the counselor was biased and was in too much favor of his wife, which is very common in regards to marital counselors. It takes one to screw up a marriage permanently by cheating.

"Bitterness, hyper vigilance and distrust?" The man has been betrayed and you phrase it as if it was decades ago. It's always the women, whether they cheated or not, that love to use the word "bitter" to describe a man who has feelings. That's just plain ignorant. If one wants to bury their head in the sand, be a backstabbing conniving liar and blameshift their own calculating actions, then that is their right, but it is foolish to be surprised when there's blowback in the face.

He can move on his own way and it doesn't have to include putting up with a cheater and being in denial, especially one who has decided that covering up her other affairs that her husband even doesn't know about would suit her purposes better.

No such thing as forgiving oneself. It's just a "fancy" way of saying that what one did wasn't so bad. Another form of warped justification.

The only decent thing she can do right now is to either divorce her husband, or tell him everything he deserves to know, which means telling him that their relationship was a lie from the start. Anything other than that is just more lies and attempt to cover that ass.

Oh no please slow down there. I stated that you know from personal experience, not that everything you said was completely correct.

Well, do you know from personal experience?

Have you successfully reconciled after infidelity?

She doesn't want a divorce now, and neither does he.

He sounds stubborn and angry and refuses MC. Maybe he is a guy who is use to always being "right" and respected. If not respected, then feared. How does that make for a good relationship if those attributes, necessary and common for his job, are brought home to the wife and family?

How about IC? Does he refuse that too? Why? Does he think he knows it all, has seen it all already? That's pretty arrogant too, don't think?

I am back to my original question: What do they do to have fun and joy in their relationship? With each other?

What does he do to encourage and foster that and their healing?

It takes two to make it better. It always has.

No one is telling him to get over it. But eventually, the grilling and sleuthing and control has got to dwindle as the joy and trust returns.

If it is not returning, or he has no plans to contribute more than bouts of punishment, he needs to divorce her.

April 25, 2012

Rain, has your H asked for every little detail of the A? Is he the type of person who wants to know minute details? I believe that some people don't want to know or want to relive the past.....

You know your H better than we do. Again, of I were you, I would also consider his violent reaction in the past and if you do choose to share the threads that it is in an environment that assures your safety.

April 25, 2012

Please do not assume Rain is setting her H up in order to divorce him. Rain, I know it can be rough here, but realize there are various opinions here.

April 25, 2012

Well, do you know from personal experience?

Yes.

Have you successfully reconciled after infidelity?

No I divorced.

She doesn't want a divorce now, and neither does he.

Her reasons for divorce are not entirely based on an actual commitment level towards the hubby. His reasons are because he's still processing what he knows about her (or lack thereof).

He sounds stubborn and angry and refuses MC. Maybe he is a guy who is use to always being "right" and respected. If not respected, then feared.

Stubborn and angry for being betrayed and refusing to go to see some bullsht counselor who's going to take only one side, like you're doing now? You bias for women is clouding your judgement, and you're ignoring his pain in order to paint your specific picture of betrayed men.

How does that make for a good relationship if those attributes, necessary and common for his job, are brought home to the wife and family?

There's no relationship to even discuss, as he knows nothing of all her other affairs. And you're equating abuse with resentment and stamping it on all men who are rightly angry for being screwed over because you have your own issues with men in general. She never cared about anything except for when she was going to see her OM, and then goes home and lies in his face. That's not the definition of a wife.

Sorry but every man in this world is not some pushover who will lay down and accept a crappy relationship "for the sake of the kids and family."

How about IC? Does he refuse that too? Why? Does he think he knows it all, has seen it all already? That's pretty arrogant too, don't think?

So because he's skeptical of his wife and isn't in a deep state of denial as these other spouses are, that makes him arrogant? Clearly you have a problem with men who have common sense and confidence not to lay down like dogs and take unjustified whippings. It's pretty sad that he's being ridiculed for being pissed at something he had no control over, something that was kept from him until he had to find out himself. That's a pompous attitude and reeks of the beta mentality.

I am back to my original question: What do they do to have fun and joy in their relationship? With each other?

And I am back to my original statement: It's not a relationship. It's just a piece of paper and two rings based on one big ass lie. What part of that do you not understand?

What does he do to encourage and foster that and their healing?

What does it matter to you? Anything he does with his time you'll ridicule him and label him as abusive, as you do all other betrayed husbands who are angry.

It takes two to make it better. It always has.

In this situation it took one to **** it up. So no, your claim that it takes two to make a marriage does not apply here. This is not your typical fixer-upper issue. This is years of lies and disrespect.

No one is telling him to get over it. But eventually, the grilling and sleuthing and control has got to dwindle as the joy and trust returns.

Yes you are. You're saying either he gets over it and accept his disrespectful wife and further resistance means he's nothing but an abuser. You're just proving my point over and over again with your bias statements, no offense.

If it is not returning, or he has no plans to contribute more than bouts of punishment, he needs to divorce her.

All you're doing is ridiculing him over and over again for something he is not at fault for in order to put an angel hat on her. Please take a minute and look at the situation objectively for once.

April 26, 2012

I am in no position to give advice as how to approach NovRain about the ways she can compassionately speak with her H about her A, but please!!!! Will you stop judging and reading in things that aren't there and help her. Perhaps this section of LS should be renamed from "Infidelity" to "Cheaters B Bashed".

Rain, you didn't come here to be psychoanalyzed or bashed. I wish I knew what to say to help. I do think that you should listen to your H and be remorseful, but you cannot put up with abuse of any kind. Arguing is one thing, but abuse is beyond that.

April 26, 2012

Yes.

No I divorced.

Her reasons for divorce are not entirely based on an actual commitment level towards the hubby. His reasons are because he's still processing what he knows about her (or lack thereof).

Stubborn and angry for being betrayed and refusing to go to see some bullsht counselor who's going to take only one side, like you're doing now? You bias for women is clouding your judgement, and you're ignoring his pain in order to paint your specific picture of betrayed men.

There's no relationship to even discuss, as he knows nothing of all her other affairs. And you're equating abuse with resentment and stamping it on all men who are rightly angry for being screwed over because you have your own issues with men in general. She never cared about anything except for when she was going to see her OM, and then goes home and lies in his face. That's not the definition of a wife.

Sorry but every man in this world is not some pushover who will lay down and accept a crappy relationship "for the sake of the kids and family."

So because he's skeptical of his wife and isn't in a deep state of denial as these other spouses are, that makes him arrogant? Clearly you have a problem with men who have common sense and confidence not to lay down like dogs and take unjustified whippings. It's pretty sad that he's being ridiculed for being pissed at something he had no control over, something that was kept from him until he had to find out himself. That's a pompous attitude and reeks of the beta mentality.

And I am back to my original statement: It's not a relationship. It's just a piece of paper and two rings based on one big ass lie. What part of that do you not understand?

What does it matter to you? Anything he does with his time you'll ridicule him and label him as abusive, as you do all other betrayed husbands who are angry.

In this situation it took one to **** it up. So no, your claim that it takes two to make a marriage does not apply here. This is not your typical fixer-upper issue. This is years of lies and disrespect.

Yes you are. You're saying either he gets over it and accept his disrespectful wife and further resistance means he's nothing but an abuser. You're just proving my point over and over again with your bias statements, no offense.

All you're doing is ridiculing him over and over again for something he is not at fault for in order to put an angel hat on her. Please take a minute and look at the situation objectively for once.

I am one of the most objective people at LS. Ask anyone.

Have you had a relationship since you divorced the cheater?

And no, I do NOT have a woman "bias."

I have a victim "bias" having been one as a BS, just as you were.

What you perceive as lying, I sense as real fear. NR is in love with an abusive angry man;)

He happens to be a cop, so it's okay with society. She could NEVER report his abuse.

She cheated on him, but she still loves him.

I don't know how you can read her story, her story of him too, and still judge her so harshly.

Did your xW ever hold a loaded gun to your head? Ever? In your marriage?

Sorry bud, this sitch IS different.

Your personal bias as a fBM is clouding your judgement here.

April 26, 2012

November rain......hang in there....be safe. I think you want your M to work. I don't know what to say except make sure whatever you do that your boys and you are strong.

April 26, 2012

NR, the past is the past.

you must stay focused on "the now."

if you feel you can't deal with this, you have every right to chose S or D.

like i said before, you're at the beginning of a long and arduous process-- are you committed? that's the question. it doesn't get any easier-- only harder.

you're infidelity has broken a sacred trust between two people. trust is ever-so-hard to regain after such a traumatic experience.

one thing i'd like to add.....if you feel the way you do, imagine how your husband feels.

April 26, 2012

I am one of the most objective people at LS. Ask anyone.

No.

Have you had a relationship since you divorced the cheater?

Due to be married next month.

And no, I do NOT have a woman "bias."

Yes you do.

I have a victim "bias" having been one as a BS, just as you were.

Really? Then why the need to attempt to belittle those who have divorced, versus the ones who choose to stay because they are scared to leave their cheating spouses?

You keep saying how you are empathetic to those who were hurt and unjustifiably so, yet you turn around and follow up with a volley of jab punches against the divorced, specifically betrayed men, and then go for the coup de grâce by demonizing them and calling them abusers when they're pissed from being cheated on!

What you perceive as lying, I sense as real fear. NR is in love with an abusive angry man;)

What you perceive is your bias against men in general, and the contempt and resentment you deeply hold for your husband, and THAT is why you go around wrongly calling angry betrayed men abusive. That's hypocrisy and you know your position is indefensible so stop trying to make it seem your weak platform is well established!

He happens to be a cop, so it's okay with society. She could NEVER report his abuse.

Where's the evidence that he has abused her when she has been lying to and disrespecting this man since the day she met him?

Obviously she wasn't so afraid of him if she posts all of this evidence of her affairs with multiple men on a discussion forum. If she was abused as you impulsively say so then cheating would be the last thing on her mind. She would be trying to find a way to hide from him.

Do you not see how cynical your mind has become by not even acknowledging that you still have resentment about your husband's affair (or affairs since you recently said he also chatted it up with his ex girlfriends)? You've lost sight of hope that you're practically holding the same state of mind of a wayward.

She cheated on him, but she still loves him.

A woman who stated previously that she never really saw her husband as sexually appealing and used her Other Men to fulfill her sexuality is not someone who is in love with her husband.

Your bolded statement is what a cheating wife would say and when they say that to their husbands it really angers them because they know the woman is insulting their intelligence. There's no way she could love him and still give her body and attention to another man.

I don't know how you can read her story, her story of him too, and still judge her so harshly.

But I know how you can read her story, her story of him too, and defend her while blindly assuming he's just a bitter abuser trying to control her "womanhood" and sense of purpose. Want me to tell you how I quickly came to that conclusion?

Did your xW ever hold a loaded gun to your head? Ever? In your marriage?

Your statement just goes to show how you're ignoring the traumatic psychological effects the discovery of cheating has on someone, especially a man.

Sorry bud, this sitch IS different.

Sorry ma'am, but this sitch is no different than a wife who has had an affair for 3 years. It's the same concept, different circumstances, equal outcome.

Your personal bias as a fBM is clouding your judgement here.

I disagree. The only clouded judgement here is from your own posts. You character assassinate men who do not hold the same beliefs you do and then have the nerve to assume because he has a law enforcement badge he must be a major abuser, while hypocritically defending a cheater who lied to her husband since the day she met him and gave him pity sex out of marital obligation. You know full well you have absolutely no basis for your claims and when confronted you've refused to back up your statements.

April 26, 2012

Please stop the in fighting. This thread is specifically about NovRain and how she should best approach her H with her frustrations.....

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