The_Good_Me Posted April 24, 2012 Posted April 24, 2012 Hey all I don't post about myself often as it's usually dark depressive stuff that I just need to vent occasionally. Something finally happened last night that made me feel good about myself :-) A quick recap on what happened to me. I was with my first and only love for 10 years, then she dumped me a few weeks before our wedding. That was over a year ago now. Since then I have pretty much lost all hope in a future for myself, nevermind a future with a girl!! I went to a gig in London and got separated from my friend. I'm a tall guy so people naturally try to push infront of me so they're not stuck behind "the tall guy". I always feel guilty so I don't mind letting people through. Eventually 2 girls came and stood behind me, I could see they were trying to get in front so I said "you can go infront of me if you like". The blonde one gave me a huge smile (instantly attracted to her at this point! It was such a nice smile plus she was hot too!! I would say easily too hot for me!!). During the first few songs I was having the occasional peripheral glance at her and I caught her looking at me a few times. I'm still inexperienced in talking to girls so I was just happy enjoying the fact that a girl seemed to be checking me out. A few blokes had a go at trying to chat her up (she was a right little bloke magnet lol). We eventually caught each other looking at one another and to my surprise she came over, smiled and started speaking to me! Always smiling, not really flirting but as soon as there was a chance to talk, she initiated conversation! Everytime the music picked up she started dancing with me!! I know this is quite a small deal to some people but this hasn't happened to me before. I've never had a girl come up to me before, not one that has never met me before anyway. In my teens I had to meet girls first through friends for example so they could get to know me before I was considered attractive! I think this is literally the first time I've had female interest based on my looks alone. I never got her number or her name as I'm still far to afraid & not even interested in pursuing something with someone but it has given me a tremendous confidence boost! Just that little interaction has given me so much!! It really helps that she was getting chatted up by blokes who I thought were better looking than me! Feels good to write something positive for a change! Thanks for reading! :-) 5
sleepykitten Posted April 25, 2012 Posted April 25, 2012 The Good me....I remember you! I havent posted here much either, cant believe its almost a year. Remember that burst of confidence next time you feel down on yourself, and yes....get a number next time....good luck x
Exit Posted April 25, 2012 Posted April 25, 2012 Nice! Nothing to be scared of trying to take it further. You realize either way you never see the person again right? So you could have asked for her phone number, and maybe got it, or if she said no, you'd be in the same spot you're in anyway, no idea who each other was and not gonna see each other again. Nothing to fear! Especially when the chick initiates the conversation, it's not like walking up to someone in public and trying to get a number. She definitely would have given it to you.
Author The_Good_Me Posted April 26, 2012 Author Posted April 26, 2012 @ Silvermane - Thank you :-) still on cloud 9 from the whole experience haha :-) @ Sleepy - Hey Sleepy! I remember you too :-) hope you're doing better than last time we spoke! I sometimes can't believe how long it's been either and other times it feels like an eternity. @ Exit - You're totally right! I realised I had nothing to lose by asking her for a phone number but something held me back. I have no self confidence when it comes to girls, my ex saw to completely destroying that part of me! This girl has given some of it back to me though and I am so grateful to her for it. She made me feel wanted for the first time in a long time. I still can't see myself in another relationship since I was blindsided after 10 years with my ex. She hid her feelings from me and put on a happy act so when I did get dumped, it "came out of the blue" for me. I don't want to go through that again so I think it'll be a very long time before I'm even ready to ask for a phone number, never mind be ready to have another relationship. It may never even happen with all my self doubts, self hatred, abandonment issues, trust issues and all the other crap baggage I have since my ex killed me last year. I'm just going to go through life and if this kind of thing happens a few times, maybe my perspective on things will change but since this is the first time it's happened in 29 years, I don't hold my hopes very high. At the moment I am very happy just having friends and no plans for romantic ties. Things like what happened on Monday are always a welcome bonus :-)
The Aviator Posted April 29, 2012 Posted April 29, 2012 Good Me, great to hear from you again Bud! This is good stuff to hear! Who cares if you didn't get her number or what-not. It's progress and nobody can take anything away from you if it makes you happy! I've still not found anybody myself but like you whenever I get a 'hit' from a girl it's a great feeling. Onwards and upwards!
Strength Posted May 17, 2012 Posted May 17, 2012 Congrats! That makes you feel warm and alive doesnt it? I just read your whole story about your ex and it drove me to join this forum. Being an avid internet user i have been looking up every feeling i have been having over the last couple months and by far, i have found your explanation of your feelings and what they translate to in your brain rather than your heart, most most most reassuring and inspiring and such a relief. i honestly joined this forum because i wanted to thank you for telling your story and every moment of it. i just want to blurt mine out to you but you probably dont want to hear it and it would come out in a fair bit of a mess.... but if it was possible AT ALL that you could be a sounding board for a complete random, well you know id appreciate it more than anyone could know. thanks for reading this much.
Author The_Good_Me Posted August 1, 2012 Author Posted August 1, 2012 Hello Strength I am so deeply sorry that my reply to you has taken months to come. Once I found myself in a better head space I did what most people do and that's leave this forum. By chance a relative told me about your post and that's why I'm here now. I can't begin to tell you how much joy I felt reading your kind words. I am truly honored to receive such high praise. I wish I had seen your reply when you posted back in May and can only apologize again for not being there when you needed me. I hope in these past few months you have found strength (your forum name is so appropriate :-)) in yourself, from those close to you and from the wonderful people on this forum. If you see this and would still like to talk, I am here to listen to all you have to say. You will have all my support, comfort and if I can help you in any possible way I will do. I hope you're still around to read this.
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