usabup Posted April 24, 2012 Posted April 24, 2012 Now ill admit, this title is a bit misleading. But here is my point... If you go NC straight after a break up or after your partner walks away from you, they always return in one form or another. It dosnt mean you will get them back or even a friendship. But they always re appear at some point to "check up" on you. Its human nature to wonder where you have gone and wonder why you have stopped chasing. Even if its "running into you at a club" or finding an excuse to send you an e-mail. If on the other hand, you continue to chase them, text them, e-mail etc etc, they know you still want them and it gives them a reason to run from you. They know they can have you anytime they want. They know what your up to....thinking about them still! There is no sure fire way to get an ex back....and yes sometimes its impossible. But honestly, NC is your best chance. Wait it out, feel the pain and at some point, they will get curious and come sniffing around. All that you can do is make sure you are the best version of you when they do. 5
Reddice Posted April 24, 2012 Posted April 24, 2012 NC is not for the dumper, it's for you! So you can heal and move forward. After almost 2 months on NC I can honestly say I do not want my ex back under any circumstances. Whether she contacts me or not is not even the issue anymore, as I am no longer interested in speaking to her. 3
Philosoraptor Posted April 24, 2012 Posted April 24, 2012 Not if the person is sure of their decision. If one is ending a relationship due to truly examining the situation and deciding that this is what is best for them, they will not make contact. When one makes a life altering decision based on a reaction, not true thought, they will often find themselves unsure if they made the right choice. This is sadly why so many make contact. Things didn't feel right but they are too scared to move on. 1
dacookie Posted April 24, 2012 Posted April 24, 2012 Gotta say at first when I started NC I had this in mind as the main reason for doing it, now thats much less of the reason as the bigger one is to get over her.Don't see why some people recommend NC for like 2 weeks though??Dunno maybe its cause the only serious relationship Ive been in was long distance but I think anything shorter than 2 months will do basically nothing for both those reasons.
Steelrain322 Posted April 24, 2012 Posted April 24, 2012 They can't contact you if they don't have your number/email address/facebook. Even if they want to. Unless they show up at your house unannounced. Which is not likely.
CaliBabe Posted April 24, 2012 Posted April 24, 2012 " All that you can do is make sure you are the best version of you when they do." I like that. 3
mike588 Posted April 24, 2012 Posted April 24, 2012 Now ill admit, this title is a bit misleading. But here is my point... If you go NC straight after a break up or after your partner walks away from you, they always return in one form or another. It dosnt mean you will get them back or even a friendship. But they always re appear at some point to "check up" on you. Its human nature to wonder where you have gone and wonder why you have stopped chasing. Even if its "running into you at a club" or finding an excuse to send you an e-mail. If on the other hand, you continue to chase them, text them, e-mail etc etc, they know you still want them and it gives them a reason to run from you. They know they can have you anytime they want. They know what your up to....thinking about them still! There is no sure fire way to get an ex back....and yes sometimes its impossible. But honestly, NC is your best chance. Wait it out, feel the pain and at some point, they will get curious and come sniffing around. All that you can do is make sure you are the best version of you when they do. My ex. dumped me almost 9 months ago and I was 110% sure I'd never hear from her again! I went N.C. and about 2...3 months ago she contacted me several times.
Jono85 Posted April 25, 2012 Posted April 25, 2012 this isn't entirely true. i went NC within a month of my ex leaving me for her ex (they've been broken up again for 6+ months btw) and it's now going on 1 year and 4 months strong. she hasn't tried to reach out. she didn't even respond to my goodbye/going NC msg lol. some of our ex lovers simply have a colder heart i guess. 1
robaday Posted April 25, 2012 Posted April 25, 2012 Shes contacted 3 times in last week. Dissed me when breaking up with me, i remained polite and disappeared. Her messages have changed incredibly from the ones she sent me when breaking up a month ago. And Im losing respect for her by the minute. I havent replied to anything. Am on holiday lying on a beach, swimming and partying it up with strangers. Diss everything about me then tell me you miss me and love me? me? 100 miles and running from this mess. 1
5-F Dawg Posted April 25, 2012 Posted April 25, 2012 " All that you can do is make sure you are the best version of you when they do." I like that. i really like this...it gives me hope that there is something better for all of brokenhearts to get thru a breakup...who knows what the future beholds.... as for me...she broke up with me after 3.5years...no contact for 2.5 months, then i broke no contact to wish her a happy bday..and still haven't heard from her:( i guess time will tell...boy do i miss her...
BewitchedandBothered Posted April 25, 2012 Posted April 25, 2012 i really like this...it gives me hope that there is something better for all of brokenhearts to get thru a breakup...who knows what the future beholds.... as for me...she broke up with me after 3.5years...no contact for 2.5 months, then i broke no contact to wish her a happy bday..and still haven't heard from her:( i guess time will tell...boy do i miss her... Why would you wish a dumper happy birthday? Just wondering...
Better_Days Posted April 25, 2012 Posted April 25, 2012 " All that you can do is make sure you are the best version of you when they do." I like that. So true. I've been thinking about this since the day 1. this isn't entirely true. i went NC within a month of my ex leaving me for her ex (they've been broken up again for 6+ months btw) and it's now going on 1 year and 4 months strong. she hasn't tried to reach out. she didn't even respond to my goodbye/going NC msg lol. some of our ex lovers simply have a colder heart i guess. I contacted my ex after 3years of NC. I was the dumper. I contacted her because I was dumped. Karma is a beeyatch. Point is, your ex will contact you soon or later when she thinks about you. It's just that she hasn't been thinking about you for w/e reasons.
LasVegasGuy Posted April 25, 2012 Posted April 25, 2012 Lol, well I have something working against me, my EX won't contact me because me and her was best friends before we dated, so she knows how a contact from a EX gf boost my ego, and that I use it to prove a point. So she's most likely like "Im not gonna boost his ego" Because she knows how I talked about former gfs that use to contact me.
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