vdon Posted April 24, 2012 Posted April 24, 2012 (edited) My gf is 20 and i am 24 we have been dating for about a month now i really like her she is sweet smart beautiful we get along great but im having trouble accepting her past she ran away when she was 14 she had done drugs with her last ex bf when i met her she carried condoms in her purse gave me bad impression already and she was single at the time come to find out she would have sex with anybody she liked .she told me sex is just sex no feelings and that bothers me soo much she has slept with over 30 guys for only 20 years old that is alot. so i realize this now she was very promiscuous. It just sucks that she is easy and doesn't respect herself. im very confused i want to be with her but wtf half her contact list on her cellphone she slept with. is it normal the way i feel? am i wrong for judging her? when ever we argue i bring up her past an she says i make her feel like a whore but i never insult her ii just mention how whorish she was before she met me. should i just forget about her past and move on? I just cant help sometimes i block it out of my mind but i let it come back. Edited April 24, 2012 by vdon
Philosoraptor Posted April 24, 2012 Posted April 24, 2012 All you can do is trust your feelings. If you feel that this is going to continue to be an issue then you leave. If you feel that you can accept her past and that she may or may not still contact some of the guys she has slept with, then you stay. Whatever you choose you're not wrong, as long as you are being true to yourself.
kt66 Posted April 24, 2012 Posted April 24, 2012 I have the same Retroactive jealousy. its a killer - see a CBT counsellor asap. You have my sympathies, my wife was also a bit of a slut in her youth and for some reason told me all about it. Just ignore the arses who reply"oh but she's with you now etc, it's all in the past etc etc" that's like saying "just eat" to an anorexic. this is a serious condition, get it sorted and talking calmly to your partner about it, don't blame her, it's your problem, but she can help
Professor X Posted April 24, 2012 Posted April 24, 2012 Her past is definitely not normal, 30 is a lot! If you can't accept her past than you need to go and find someone else. Also, has she treated the sex with you as meaningless? As just sex? If so, that's a big red flag, coming from a woman in a RS that is.
road Posted April 24, 2012 Posted April 24, 2012 If her past is in the past then she should not have the OM contact numbers in her phone. She should, no she needs to have NC with all her past boyfriends.
Reddice Posted April 24, 2012 Posted April 24, 2012 She is emotionally not stable, that's for sure. The problem is... she doesn't seem to want to face her past and/or emotions. She's definately fleeing from it. In order for her to heal she must aknowledge this first, but I doubt she is willing to do that. Most people won't do this unless they hit rock bottom. She's not there yet.
stillafool Posted April 24, 2012 Posted April 24, 2012 Too bad you didn't have this conversation about her sexual past before you made her your gf. I guess you have learned a lesson for future gfs.
TaraMaiden Posted April 24, 2012 Posted April 24, 2012 Oh for goodness' sake.. wait a minute - !! This is the same girl as here and here, right? Two other threads on the same topic, and now this - ?! Jeesh! Break up and get a life, Feller! You're never going to let yourself get past this one, so give up and start afresh!!
stillafool Posted April 24, 2012 Posted April 24, 2012 Just break up with her already? Why put yourself through this? You are young and the world is your oyster. Get out and enjoy yourself!
BewitchedandBothered Posted April 24, 2012 Posted April 24, 2012 My gf is 20 and i am 24 we have been dating for about a month now i really like her she is sweet smart beautiful we get along great but im having trouble accepting her past she ran away when she was 14 she had done drugs with her last ex bf when i met her she carried condoms in her purse gave me bad impression already and she was single at the time come to find out she would have sex with anybody she liked .she told me sex is just sex no feelings and that bothers me soo much she has slept with over 30 guys for only 20 years old that is alot. so i realize this now she was very promiscuous. It just sucks that she is easy and doesn't respect herself. im very confused i want to be with her but wtf half her contact list on her cellphone she slept with. is it normal the way i feel? am i wrong for judging her? when ever we argue i bring up her past an she says i make her feel like a whore but i never insult her ii just mention how whorish she was before she met me. should i just forget about her past and move on? I just cant help sometimes i block it out of my mind but i let it come back. It's her past. She doesn't live there anymore.
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