Im new & would love insight (especially from women) on these dates. Can figure her!!!

[donutoftheheart]

Hey everyone! Thanks for taking your time to read and help a guy out!

 

So here's the deal:

 

First date: Met up with this woman for drinks around 10pm last Saturday night. We ended up having a few cocktails and some bites and left right before the restaurant closed at 2am. Right before we left, I asked for out tab. She immediately pulled out her card, but I insisted that I pay because I had invited her out. She tried to fight it a bit, but after I said I'll take care of this and she can get the next time if she'd really insisted, she openly welcomed my offer. Unfortunately, I began to fumble through my wallet and pockets and realized that I had left my main cards in my money clip (which I use when I go running). She jokingly said,"You bartenders and your cash." I replied, "No, I actually deposited all of my cash when I got off work today and forgot my card at home." She laughed and said it was okay and paid. I said I've got next time and she replied, "Perfect!" I walked her back to her place (we live in the city), hugged her and I gave her a kiss on the cheek. On my walk back home, we exchanged the following texts:

 

Me: Thanks for coming out gorgeous! Id love to make it up next time.

Her: Sounds good! I had fun:)

Me: Aside from your joke about me being 29?!

Her: You know Im just pulling your leg, age is never and issue, just a number:)

Me: I definitely enjoyed ya! Thanks for standing out enough to make me ask you out! Dream sweet 'cause you've got an early one. Gnight & thanks again darlin'!

Her: Thank you! I will have sweet dreams now. Get home safe and Ill talk to ya soon. Gnight!

 

So come Tuesday, I gave her a ring to invite her out for dinner & to check out an exhibit that we had both conversed about. I got her voicemail, so I made it brief and just stated that. She texted me back the following:

 

Her: I actually have plans both Friday & Sat night. Im not popular, it just turned out that way. Perhaps we can grab dinner & drinks Monday night? Let me know.

 

So we had dinner Monday (yesterday). Nice Italian place with a patio that overlooks the water since she wanted to soak in the great weather. We got our drinks, she toasted, "To a great view, dinner and great conversation/company!" It was an awesome dinner, everything flowed fluidly. I PAID IN THE END! =)

 

We left there and proceeded to grab ice cream nearby, in which she offered to get, so I tipped. We enjoyed one another's company and perused around the waterfront and after demolishing the ice cream and then racing up stairs and both exchanging trash-talking banter, we began walking towards her neighborhood. On the way, we stopped by the store that she manages so that she could grab a few of her things and she invited me to come in with and introduced me to her employees that were there. We left and continued up to her place.

 

So obviously, we are exchanging conversation along the way. She talks about how she's not ready to be tied down and I asked what her definition of being tied down was. She said, "Being in a relationship. I see so many people changing their life, dreams, goals or personal self for the sake of relationships and Im not in a hurry to do that yet. I have a lot I want to do." It was good, insightful conversation. We draw closer to her intersection and she states, "I'd invite you in but my place seriously is a mess because I've been working so much the past couple weeks. I've warned some of my friends before and they always say its okay, but when they come up its like WHOA!!" I replied, "Don't sweat it. How about you go up and drop your stuff off and meet me back downstairs and we'll go grab another drink or two?" She emphatically said, "Yes!"

 

So she meets me downstairs, and I catch her with a yawn. I jokingly said, "If Im boring you, you should probably go get some rest!" She replied, "No, no, no! I've just been up since 4am from the gym and work. Lets go have some drinks!" So we're at a nearby lounge. We exchange sips from one another's drinks as we've done every time we've had drinks from date one, to the Italian place till here. We also exchange a stories that only our very few & close friends & family would know about from each of our pasts. Then I took care of the bill. She offered to pay. I said, "No, but thank you!" She said, "How about halfway?" Again, I said no. So she said, "Thursday then, before the show. Its my turn." I agreed.

 

So I walk her back to her place again. Parted with a very embracing hug. As she turned to walk inside, I grabbed her arm and was going to kiss her. She looked, smiled and said, "No, no, no!"

 

I instinctively just reacted with a sincere, yet embarrassed smile and bid her a goodnight and she said, "I'll here from you about Thursday!"

 

As Im walking home, she texted the following:

 

Her: No first kiss after third drink. I had fun tonight!!

Me: I dig that (respect ya that much more). Thanks for the amazing company!

Her: Thanks, get home safe. Im already dozing off in bed. Ill see you on Thursday.

 

Notes:

 

*So I also want to mention that during our dates so far, the bod language seems right. She faces me, I face her. I do more of the engaging when it comes to a little physical interaction (i.e. touching her shoulder, back, etc while conversing, laughing or telling a story). She has yet to do any of that, but her body language IS very attentive. Eye contact is always there.

 

*Also, a funny and very stupid thing is, I never try to kiss a girl I may be interested in unless I knew her last name. For some reason, I went for the gold and was definitely turned away. Ha. I don't know if it was her body language during the night-cap drinks or me catching her eyes always gazes between my lips and eyes every time I was telling a story or asking her questions, but I guess I read it wrong.

 

*She has so far been adamant about not wanting to reveal her last name or age yet (I think she's between 24-27, but could be VERY wrong if she's acting this way). I can understand the last name, because I normally don't divulge mine until I know they aren't weird online stalkers. I do, however, find it very weird that she doesn't want to reveal her age. At the last bar, when we got carded, she showed me her ID when she used to be brunette but was very careful to cover her birthday.

 

So, after this earful, I mean eyeful, in which I hope you've at least enjoyed another dating story, CAN ANYONE TELL ME WHAT THEY THINK SO FAR WITH WHATS GOING ON? Is she into me or interested? Did I blow it with the kiss? What did she mean by her text afterwards? I put all the details on here because I figured it would be the best way to get the most clear advice because you would know what I know.

 

I definitely appreciate it & hopefully Thursday turns out better!!

 

 

Thanks!!!!

 

Love & blessings!

[yongyong]

you are fine. she showed you to her employees. that says everything

[amantis]

Thats why i always kiss in the middle of the date.

 

I think that you are going to be friendzoned if you dont kiss her in the next date .

you seem to have a great connection with her , but theres something missing .

 

She told you in your face that she is not ready for a relationship . what do you think that means ?

 

Just go and have fun , but dont try and get too serious with her .. maybe im wrong , but when i go for a kiss i never get a no ,so i dont know how i would feel , but i only go for the kiss if i feel like she wants it .

 

Your story is a bit weird , Its like she likes you , but only sees you as a friend .

[Emilia]

Thats why i always kiss in the middle of the date.

 

I think that you are going to be friendzoned if you dont kiss her in the next date .

you seem to have a great connection with her , but theres something missing .

 

She told you in your face that she is not ready for a relationship . what do you think that means ?

 

Just go and have fun , but dont try and get too serious with her .. maybe im wrong , but when i go for a kiss i never get a no ,so i dont know how i would feel , but i only go for the kiss if i feel like she wants it .

 

Your story is a bit weird , Its like she likes you , but only sees you as a friend .

 

No this post is wrong.

 

You are doing well with her OP. I had conversations with men like this before (when they were being worried about being serious) and it always came down to previous experiences with clingy/needy women.

 

She likes having her own life and she doesn't like taking things too fast. You need to be strong and independent. If that suits you, the two of you could be a good match. If it doesn't, it won't work. She is just trying to set some boundaries that's all.

[amantis]

im wrong ?

How many dates did you had , where you are having a great time , and you didnt kiss him ? you can say a few times but with me never happened.

Whats the point , going on a date if you dont kiss him ,you need to know if theres something there

 

Girls who dont want a relationship normally dont care if they kiss when they had 3 drinks .

 

I never had a date where she told me that she wasnt ready for a relationship , but im careful with that.

She told him in his face

 

Listen to Emilia and do what you are doing and then tell us please , if everything is going good between you 2

 

i really wish you all the luck

[donutoftheheart]

I appreciate the insight thus far from you all! Im glad to have been able to find a forum that I can gain advice and knowledge. Although I am 29, I feel relatively new to dating, the signals, etc involved in it. Ive been in long-term relationships in the past and was single for the past 2 years just focusing on myself and my art. Only a few months ago had I begun to date except I found that I didn't know how to date or read women.

 

So any and ALL insight will always be welcome!!

 

YONG - You may very well be right! I hope....

 

EMILIA - I can definitely see your point! Although a relationship would be nice if it comes along, I agree with this woman because in my past relationship, I really conformed and nearly gave up my major passions to follow my ex's goals. When this woman and I were talking about "not wanting to be in a relationship or changing for another person", I did say, "A real relationship works when you have to change very little about yourself and the things you are passionate outside of the relationship. The relationship just works. If I were to be in one again, I would want to make sure that the person Im with is just as passionate about their individual life as much our lives intertwined. I shouldn't have to change much for them nor would I ever want that person to change for me. I was attracted in the beginning for a reason."

 

Although, how do you feel about some of her other actions Emilia? Thanks!!

 

AMANTIS - I can also see your side as well, but Im also not the conventional guy that goes in for the kiss because I feel that there is a time limit on it. I really thought that she gave me all the right signals Then again, maybe my old-fashioned ways was completely wrong, because now I am seeking advice.

 

I was thinking about it this morning:

 

She's a lightweight when it comes to drinking, so maybe she didn't want to kiss after the third drink because the idea of a first kiss should be something special and enjoyed in the heat of developed feelings rather than the nudge of alcohol. Perhaps a first kiss shouldn't be sloppy, while slightly intoxicated that could lead to sex which could ruin the potential for growth?

 

OR

 

Im just an idiot to dating and just have no idea what Im doing anymore. Haha.

 

Nonetheless, when I go on dates, sex is always least on my priority unless I really get to know someone. I don't want to hurt anyone, so I leave it dormant unless it provoked. That is not to say that Im not a sexual person, because lets face it, what guy isn't?! But I do keep it in check because I genuinely want to meet great people and build from there. My last relationship of 3 years ended up with her cheating on me with a married man for four months while I was away for work. THAT relationship started with a few dates, then sex. So that formula hasn't boded well for me, which is why I prefer to keep sex out of the equation.

 

Looking forward to hearing more from everyone!

 

Love & blessings!

[RovingReporter]

I know this isn't what you want to hear but it doesn't sound like shes into you in that way. No kiss after drinks on the 2nd date? yeah, not interested.

[Ellamay]

Shes not into you as more than a friend. Life goals are not going to stop a woman from wanting a relationship, thats just an excuse to not hurt your feelings. She enjoys hanging with you, probaby thinks youre great company, but she flat out told you she wants nothing more and turned away when you tried to kiss her. What more clues do you need?

[sid3]

I know this isn't what you want to hear but it doesn't sound like shes into you in that way. No kiss after drinks on the 2nd date? yeah, not interested.

 

This.......^