hopeto Posted April 24, 2012 Posted April 24, 2012 ok folks I need help yet again. the last I posted was in 2007, wow that is a long time ago. here is the just. I was married for 18 years.I was called names,down grated,I was fat,nasty etc. I was married to a man that I cought in the final stages of our relationship looking at child porn. We have a daughter that is now 11 she was 6 at the time of the divorce. Ok, well after our seperation started and we went into the divorce it got really nasty. I would like to know really which ones don't. we fought over our daughter. He tride to take her form me. we could not even be nice. I will tell you this even going through what we did I still loved him. He was all I knew. I was 14 when we started dateing and he was all I new. well anyway in dec of 2012 I want yall to know that his struggle with demons came to pass over what he done and could not bare it no longer. He commited sucide and killed his girlfried as well. I know that, that the bullet was ment for me, in fact I was told he was trying to find hits for me. I was so scared for my life and my daughters life at times that I dint sleep at nights. but here is the terrible thing. I loved him with every inch of my being even after the seperation and the divorce. funny when I was around him I looked at him so different cause never in a million years thought he would do something so terrible. He blamed it on me being fat. I just begged and begged for him to love me. you can read up on all the post man I was a lost cookie. well guess what I am lost again!!!!! I loved him. I still love him. and I am lost and didnt know really how much so now that he is gone. today is a hard day. very hard day. am I crazy?? I have found another man that takes care of me and loves my daughter. we have been together 3 years. there is no passion in this relationship. its quickys all the time well every time and that is he gets his and jst leaves me hanging. he dont even like to kiss, omygosh what do I do. I wonna be loved and I want to be romanced. I am trying with all my being not to leave but I miss being loved. I am so confused. I love my ex more so now than ever before. its is terrible. the man I am with is every girls dream for a caregiver but there is no spark and loosing my ex has made it that much worse. what do I do. I have talked to him till I am blue in the face and nothing. he says he so loves me and you know I see that, but he does not show it. never shows it. I am tired of not being loved. am I that bad. please help:(
Philosoraptor Posted April 24, 2012 Posted April 24, 2012 I am terribly sorry for your situation. I'm not sure many here can give you what you need right now. I would seriously consider speaking to a counselor who might be able to help you through this situation as any advice given here could never grasp the entire situation.
standtall Posted April 24, 2012 Posted April 24, 2012 hopet..this is such a tragic story. Let me get his straight. Your ex-husband and father to your 11 yr old daughter, committed a murder-suicide with his at the time current girlfriend? Wow...you need to get your daughter into counseling ASAP.
Mr Scorpio Posted April 24, 2012 Posted April 24, 2012 I wouldn't say you are crazy to have feelings for someone who you spent so much time with. That is perfectly natural. I agree with the previous two posters. The scope of your problem is beyond what can be addressed by the good folks here. Better yet, have you considered couples counseling with your current guy? It sounds like he is a decent person but there are some issues in the relationship that need to be worked out.
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