rayrod354 Posted April 24, 2012 Posted April 24, 2012 So, I'm new to this and found this forum and decided to see what others think. A few months ago I saw a friend post a pic on facebook of a quote that said: "Today's relationships; You can touch each other, but not each others phones". And the person who posted the picture commented by saying that if they're good enough to invade your private body then they're good enough to share your privacy with... How do you guys feel? The reason why I ask is because my girl was on her phone and looking at her bbm and I looked over and noticed that I was still a bbm friend but I haven't had bbm since I switched to an iphone months ago. So I ask to see her phone and okay I was still a bbm friend. Then I notice that she only had three other friends on there, two female friends and someone with the name Mike the Don. So I click on the conversation and didn't get to read anything but see that it was a lengthy one. Then she strips the phone from my hands... The only reason why I looked was because the name caught me off guard. And I have never heard this guy mentioned. So am I wrong for looking? Or is she wrong?
Author rayrod354 Posted April 24, 2012 Author Posted April 24, 2012 Okay, so brief history. We've been together for about a year and three months. In the beginning I noticed that her facebook ringtone would continuously go off. And when I looked on facebook she was not receiving any comments or anything so I figured she was receiving a lot of private messages. So, about four months after we began dating I got nosey and noticed that my suspicions were right and she was having conversations with two male friends who asked her out for drinks and she had accepted. I also saw a conversation from a new guy that she met threw a friend and for about two months he was always inviting her out for drinks and she'd always have an excuse except that she's involved and there was never any mention of her dating anyone. I even saw a close friend of mine trying to hook up with her knowing I was with her. I noticed another friend invite her out while I was with her and another friend begin to flirt with her but when she reminded him that we were together he stopped. So that caused problems for many months. I let it go. Today, we drove to the ATM and we withdrew money to buy dinner. Except that I had left my phone at the house so I did not have the restaurant number. So she gave me hers to look it up. I called the restaurant and after the call I said, "So what happens if I go through your phone?" She said, "go ahead, i have nothing to hide." And I did this because she never shows any signs of jealousy but when something happens she has her comments to say. And a few months ago she grab my phone from my hands and playing around said she was going to see what I had on there... I said go ahead because I had nothing to hide. But then today when I did the same thing she got upset. And I only looked at the conversation to see how long they had been chatting but never saw anything that was said. But she rapidly yanked it from my hands. Then she gets upset and says i'm going upstairs and am leaving my phone on the sofa, look at what you want and they I want you to go home. So then why get mad if you got nothing to hide. I only did it because I saw the name Mike the Don. So while I had the phone I said who's Mike the Don. She said it's a friend from Connecticut that used to live in the area. But i've never heard about this guy at all.
g450 Posted April 25, 2012 Posted April 25, 2012 People who have nothing to hide, hide nothing. You both looked at each other's phones. Tells me that either or both of you have insecurity issues. And that she also may have something to hide. Either way, not a good relationship to be in. I would just NC her and see if she cares enough to persue you or not. If not then you have your answer. Personally, her snatching her phone was a red flag. Happened to me twice. With my XW before she divorced me and was having an EA with and old BF and my GF before she left me to go back to her XH. In constrast to that my Fiancee can look at my phone any time she likes. I have nothing to hide.
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