CrazyDiamond424 Posted April 24, 2012 Posted April 24, 2012 Hello, I am new and I wanted to join because I am in unbearable pain right now. I have been with my boyfriend almost 4 years.He is my first everything and I am his first as well. We lived close until I had to move 2 hrs away. For 3 years he would come over on the weekends and things were great. He would never mind the sacrifices he made for me and we were both madly in love with each other. Well December of last year he discovered some messeges on FB that I sent to some other guy. Messeges saying "My boyfriend is too attached to me" "Hes lazy and doesnt have a job" " We should meet up for some drinks" At the time I was angry at my boyfriend because he wasnt able to visit me for a few weeks and he didnt "have time" to call. I NEVER WANTED TO CHEAT ON HIM AND IT WAS NEVER MY INTENTION!. I guess part of me was craving attention. Well after his "discovery" he was angry of course. He didnt break it off. Not until a month later because we kept getting into fights and I felt insecure and he was still resentful. The break up lasted for 4 days until he called me to take him back and to tell me what a fool he was to let me go and he still loved me. So, yes we got back together and we lasted 3 months because there was constant fighting. THEN I broke up with HIM. We were broken up for a month. During that month I visited him 3 times (sex was involved). He said he missed me and wanted to work things out. So he asked me to be his GF again....We only lasted a week. During that week I went to his house and we got into the biggest fight we have ever had in the course of our relationship. It got to the point where I got physical. I hit him, slapped him yelled at him because I just didnt feel the love from him. So I called him, and called him and called him for comfort to the point where just got fed up and got verbally abusive. I called him again today, he answered, had a short convo and hung up. I texted him saying I wanted a clear explanation as to what we were doing. He texted back saying " We're on a break so we can come to peace with us and ourselves so when we can, be together without any tensions" I just said "Ok cool" Idk if I should just let him go or keep hope that he will come around . Tomorrow is my B-day and a week after its supposed to be out 4 year anniversary. I cant bear not talking to him. I regret things so much. I took his love for granted and I am paying the price. Im falling deeper and deeper into a dark hole. Help...
123321 Posted April 24, 2012 Posted April 24, 2012 If you can't respect your fella, you shouldn't be with him. Respect doesn't say stuff like that.
Ani Posted April 24, 2012 Posted April 24, 2012 What you did on Facebook was such a childish act. Surprise he "let it go" most other guys would have left you at that point. What you did there was cruel and evil. He's probably trying to move on at this point, especially after that incident. A relationship is about both of you giving for each other. From what I've read he's the one giving and you're just taking it for granted. It also seems you're a person who craves attention and would do anything to get it. I'm in a LDR as well and I would never do what you did on Facebook nor would my GF. LDR are basically based on trust at this point it seems he doesn't trust you. I wish you guys good luck. Hopefully your Boyfriend chooses the right decision.
Author CrazyDiamond424 Posted April 24, 2012 Author Posted April 24, 2012 I know I made mistakes and I hate myself for the way I was and my actions. I just wish I could take it all back but I cant Idk if he really does want a break or if he just wants to protect my feelings and call it a "break". Im just scared that he will never come back. I want to fix things with myself also and he is being very logical. Im just scared that he will stop loving me during this time off.
KylesFloating Posted April 24, 2012 Posted April 24, 2012 Honestly, once a relationship reaches that point...from my experiences, you need more than just a break. I'm not going to say you can't maybe rekindle things at some point, but frankly I wasn't able to move on and mature in my life until I purposefully took some time to myself. Time being a year. Over a year actually, but I planned for at least a year. It wasn't easy and it was lonely but I've never grown so much as a person. I'm not sure how old you are, but these things are not signs of a healthy relationship. I was in a relationship and the girl needed attention and was abusing drugs/alcohol and did some unfortunate things..and I resented her too. I tried to understand, but it just didn't work. I had that resentment, and she obviously must have had some issues that came out (and she tried to ignore, but they always resurface). Things like that signal a major issue, and sometimes it's not just something you can fix. What's good to get back together, if you'll only fight more and more violently? Trust me, that's what happened with the girl I mentioned. She ended up stealing basically all of my stuff and doing some crazy stuff, and now I literally will never talk to her again in my life. Her family was very close to mine, and she meant everything to me. I forgive her for cheating and things like that, and I may not have wanted to be with her but now I literally will never see or talk to her again. She's devestated, but I told her we needed time because even when we try to get back together we just fight. I told her I just needed time...and she wasn't alright with that and things just got worse to the point of no return. If you truly love the kid, take plenty of time. If it's meant to be, if it's real, he won't be going anywhere or he'll come back. Or maybe you find someone that's better for you. I don't crave attention or even feel comfortable talking to someone else when I truly love someone, so if you don't feel that way maybe it's not right. Sorry, that's just my honest take...hope things get better
Author CrazyDiamond424 Posted April 25, 2012 Author Posted April 25, 2012 Well quick update: The night before my bday he sent me a text asking me to hear a song that he thought was good (we share the same appreciation for music) Then exactly at midnight he sent me a text wishing me a happy birthday. Thats same afternoon he called me. I didnt answer. I finally replied back saying thanks and he just wished me a good day. Thats when I decided to call him. He said he just wanted to say happy birthday. He then tried telling me about his bad day at work but I tried to keep the convo short. Afterwards he just told me to be safe and we hung up. *sigh* Men are confusing =/ I care alot about him. (We're both 22 btw) As much as I wanted to comfort him I knew it wasnt the right thing for me to do.
wildgeese Posted April 26, 2012 Posted April 26, 2012 Well quick update: The night before my bday he sent me a text asking me to hear a song that he thought was good (we share the same appreciation for music) Then exactly at midnight he sent me a text wishing me a happy birthday. Thats same afternoon he called me. I didnt answer. I finally replied back saying thanks and he just wished me a good day. Thats when I decided to call him. He said he just wanted to say happy birthday. He then tried telling me about his bad day at work but I tried to keep the convo short. Afterwards he just told me to be safe and we hung up. *sigh* Men are confusing =/ I care alot about him. (We're both 22 btw) As much as I wanted to comfort him I knew it wasnt the right thing for me to do. I guess I don't understand this at all. Why didn't you answer and talk to him? To me, neither of you are acting very mature, especially at 22.
HeavenOrHell Posted April 26, 2012 Posted April 26, 2012 You sound incompatible and make each miserable a lot of the time, constant fighting isn't good, he doesn't give you the attention you want and you've hit and slapped him and been verbally abusive with him You clearly don't make each happy if you fight this much. You didn't split up for that month if you still had sex with him during that time. If you got back together why would it be any better this time around? Hello, I am new and I wanted to join because I am in unbearable pain right now. I have been with my boyfriend almost 4 years.He is my first everything and I am his first as well. We lived close until I had to move 2 hrs away. For 3 years he would come over on the weekends and things were great. He would never mind the sacrifices he made for me and we were both madly in love with each other. Well December of last year he discovered some messeges on FB that I sent to some other guy. Messeges saying "My boyfriend is too attached to me" "Hes lazy and doesnt have a job" " We should meet up for some drinks" At the time I was angry at my boyfriend because he wasnt able to visit me for a few weeks and he didnt "have time" to call. I NEVER WANTED TO CHEAT ON HIM AND IT WAS NEVER MY INTENTION!. I guess part of me was craving attention. Well after his "discovery" he was angry of course. He didnt break it off. Not until a month later because we kept getting into fights and I felt insecure and he was still resentful. The break up lasted for 4 days until he called me to take him back and to tell me what a fool he was to let me go and he still loved me. So, yes we got back together and we lasted 3 months because there was constant fighting. THEN I broke up with HIM. We were broken up for a month. During that month I visited him 3 times (sex was involved). He said he missed me and wanted to work things out. So he asked me to be his GF again....We only lasted a week. During that week I went to his house and we got into the biggest fight we have ever had in the course of our relationship. It got to the point where I got physical. I hit him, slapped him yelled at him because I just didnt feel the love from him. So I called him, and called him and called him for comfort to the point where just got fed up and got verbally abusive. I called him again today, he answered, had a short convo and hung up. I texted him saying I wanted a clear explanation as to what we were doing. He texted back saying " We're on a break so we can come to peace with us and ourselves so when we can, be together without any tensions" I just said "Ok cool" Idk if I should just let him go or keep hope that he will come around . Tomorrow is my B-day and a week after its supposed to be out 4 year anniversary. I cant bear not talking to him. I regret things so much. I took his love for granted and I am paying the price. Im falling deeper and deeper into a dark hole. Help...
Author CrazyDiamond424 Posted April 26, 2012 Author Posted April 26, 2012 Actually he was the one being verbally and emotionally abusive to me. The night I hit him he called me things like "moron" and "stupid". I tried making him understand what I felt but it was pointless. That night was the first time i lost my temper with him. It got to the point where his cousin (he is living with him) kicked me out because i was causing too much drama.... it was just so not like me to act that way and i regret it soo much because that is what caused our current split.
Author CrazyDiamond424 Posted April 26, 2012 Author Posted April 26, 2012 I guess I don't understand this at all. Why didn't you answer and talk to him? To me, neither of you are acting very mature, especially at 22. Well i didnt answer because i was at work but i did call him back. Everyone is telling me to not talk to him and keep NC. He wanted the break...not me. So Im trying to do what is best and respect this "break"
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