kaywii Posted April 24, 2012 Posted April 24, 2012 (edited) Hi everyone.This is my first time posting! About the guy.. I met this guy at a local karaoke bar, he works there and I am a regular customer. He's very tall, cute, lean with a some muscle, and athletic (which I later found out he plays lots of basketball from a frd..) He's very Asian which means he likes petite, tiny, and skinny girls.. all of his past gfs have been skinny girls.. I'm a more curvy and thick girl... Whenever I'm around the karaoke bar I'm always smiling and happy (not with him, but with his coworkers (female and males) which happens to be my frds) I'm pretty sure he recognizes me, he even knows my name. A few weeks ago, I sent him a msg on facebook.. I said hi and hey dont you work at that so and so karaoke bar? but he never replied... i was kinda sad for a few days.. I told one of my trusted friend at the karaoke bar about it.. and she said "I think he only likes skinny girls.. and you're... well not his type.." I felt worse So goodbye to the 3.5 years.. throwing it all out the window..=[ After that incident I become very insecure about my weight.. I tend to fall for guys that prefer skinny girls.. Do Asian guys dislike meaty girls? Any honest opinions will be highly appreciated.. Recent pics http://i39.tinypic.com/27yanww.jpg http://i42.tinypic.com/vs1ev4.jpg Edited April 24, 2012 by kaywii
dasein Posted April 24, 2012 Posted April 24, 2012 Welcome to the forum. Don't let a second hand opinion from someone bother you so much. It may not even be his opinion. Moreover, people in that line of work tend to have thousands of FB friends and don't respond to all, especially if they don't know them. Did you check how many friends he has? Bet it's a huge amount. Lots of men don't take FB as seriously and keep up with it the way women do. If you want to check your chances with him, go early to the bar or stay late, just get face-to-face and you will have your answer. Your pictures look fine, and I bet you get lots of male attention, just not from the top .5% of the upper crust of men with many options. If you want to try to get some tall, good looking very popular guy with lots of GFs, then get used to having to compete for that or adjust your sights accordingly.
truth_seeker Posted April 24, 2012 Posted April 24, 2012 Hi everyone.This is my first time posting! About the guy.. I met this guy at a local karaoke bar, he works there and I am a regular customer. He's very tall, cute, lean with a some muscle, and athletic (which I later found out he plays lots of basketball from a frd..) He's very Asian which means he likes petite, tiny, and skinny girls.. all of his past gfs have been skinny girls.. I'm a more curvy and thick girl... Whenever I'm around the karaoke bar I'm always smiling and happy (not with him, but with his coworkers (female and males) which happens to be my frds) I'm pretty sure he recognizes me, he even knows my name. A few weeks ago, I sent him a msg on facebook.. I said hi and hey dont you work at that so and so karaoke bar? but he never replied... i was kinda sad for a few days.. I told one of my trusted friend at the karaoke bar about it.. and she said "I think he only likes skinny girls.. and you're... well not his type.." I felt worse So goodbye to the 3.5 years.. throwing it all out the window..=[ After that incident I become very insecure about my weight.. Why am i always falling for guys that like skinny girls? Should I really start becoming one? Do Asian guys dislike meaty girls? Any honest opinions will be highly appreciated.. (please no rude comments..) Thanks in advance! Recent pics (lost about 7-8 lbs since Feb): http://i39.tinypic.com/27yanww.jpg http://i42.tinypic.com/vs1ev4.jpg First off, the guy is a loser for not responding to your message. He could have been cool about it and wrote back to you. He didn't have to give the impression he was into you or anything, just be nice and respond. My advice: Be you. If you want to lose weight for yourself, then do it. Don't lose weight because some douche at a Karaoke bar likes skinny girls.
Author kaywii Posted April 24, 2012 Author Posted April 24, 2012 Welcome to the forum. Don't let a second hand opinion from someone bother you so much. It may not even be his opinion. Moreover, people in that line of work tend to have thousands of FB friends and don't respond to all, especially if they don't know them. Did you check how many friends he has? Bet it's a huge amount. Lots of men don't take FB as seriously and keep up with it the way women do. If you want to check your chances with him, go early to the bar or stay late, just get face-to-face and you will have your answer. Your pictures look fine, and I bet you get lots of male attention, just not from the top .5% of the upper crust of men with many options. If you want to try to get some tall, good looking very popular guy with lots of GFs, then get used to having to compete for that or adjust your sights accordingly. He has almost 500 friends and he gets attention from lots of ladies.. maybe thats why.. thank you so much for the wise opinion!
dasein Posted April 24, 2012 Posted April 24, 2012 First off, the guy is a loser for not responding to your message. Now I'm one who thinks people should respond to sincere emails on DATING SITES, but not responding to FB messages from total strangers makes one a "loser?" No, it does not.
mesmerized Posted April 24, 2012 Posted April 24, 2012 Don't go after asian guys? Most men would like your body. 1
truth_seeker Posted April 24, 2012 Posted April 24, 2012 Moreover, people in that line of work tend to have thousands of FB friends and don't respond to all, especially if they don't know them. Did you check how many friends he has? Bet it's a huge amount. Lots of men don't take FB as seriously and keep up with it the way women do. I'm curious, it's possible he missed her message? Women, even with lots of friends respond to their messages?
Author kaywii Posted April 24, 2012 Author Posted April 24, 2012 I do get attentions but only from strangers and older guys that i dont know..
truth_seeker Posted April 24, 2012 Posted April 24, 2012 Now I'm one who thinks people should respond to sincere emails on DATING SITES, but not responding to FB messages from total strangers makes one a "loser?" No, it does not. She asked him a simple question. She sees him at a bar she frequents a lot and he works at. He should have responded.
Author kaywii Posted April 24, 2012 Author Posted April 24, 2012 First off, the guy is a loser for not responding to your message. He could have been cool about it and wrote back to you. He didn't have to give the impression he was into you or anything, just be nice and respond. My advice: Be you. If you want to lose weight for yourself, then do it. Don't lose weight because some douche at a Karaoke bar likes skinny girls. I also thought he could have at least replied with a "hi" or a "yes" i would have taken anything, but him ignoring my msg purposely was rude and make me look like silly.. made me regret sending him that msg.. Thank you for your comforting words, you're right.. if I want to do something i should do it for myself not for someone else
ivalm Posted April 24, 2012 Posted April 24, 2012 She asked him a simple question. She sees him at a bar she frequents a lot and he works at. He should have responded. Maybe he didn't recognize her? Maybe he doesn't like to mix work/clients and friends? Many reasons... People don't owe it to be your friends. I don't respond to people who message me on fb who I don't know/don't want to get to know. At the same time, OP, don't become self-conscious about your body because of some random guy working at a bar. If you want to improve your body for yourself, then that's great, but frankly that guy should not play any role. He's a nobody.
Author kaywii Posted April 24, 2012 Author Posted April 24, 2012 Don't go after asian guys? I think that's the plan
truth_seeker Posted April 24, 2012 Posted April 24, 2012 Maybe he didn't recognize her? Maybe he doesn't like to mix work/clients and friends? Many reasons... People don't owe it to be your friends. I don't respond to people who message me on fb who I don't know/don't want to get to know. If it's a complete, random stranger then it makes sense. The guy sounds like he has no class. He should have replied if he read the message. He's probably seen her there since she is always at this bar. So it's not like she's a complete stranger to him.
Leigh 87 Posted April 24, 2012 Posted April 24, 2012 Your not meaty - you look about 120 - 130 lbs tops. I am in that range, towards the end. I am 5 ' 5. I am considered slim when I work out and am fit, by a lot of guys. although I am not skinny and petite. I have a body type that looks similar to yours - I have a curvy butt and a muscular, solid build... but when I work out and take care of my diet, I appear slim and fit. GUys love my body! A lot of men love curvy body types, that are fit through exercise and healthy diet. A lot of men like skinny girls, too, but your not one, therefore u need to accept that there are just as many men who like more athletic, solid girls like us.
Author kaywii Posted April 24, 2012 Author Posted April 24, 2012 If you want to improve your body for yourself, then that's great, but frankly that guy should not play any role. He's a nobody. amen! thank you for bringing me back to reality!
gotye Posted April 24, 2012 Posted April 24, 2012 dude, you're body is fine. You'll find a guy who likes you for you especially if you're healthy and exercise and treat your body right. That guy has a preference, not his fault. You have probably not been interested in someone interested in you because they were not your type
Author kaywii Posted April 24, 2012 Author Posted April 24, 2012 If it's a complete, random stranger then it makes sense. The guy sounds like he has no class. He should have replied if he read the message. He's probably seen her there since she is always at this bar. So it's not like she's a complete stranger to him. i feel like you really understand how I am feeling.. i guess i selfishly just wanted some comfort and reassurance from this forum.. thank you truth seeker!
Author kaywii Posted April 24, 2012 Author Posted April 24, 2012 Your not meaty - you look about 120 - 130 lbs tops. I am in that range, towards the end. I am 5 ' 5. I am considered slim when I work out and am fit, by a lot of guys. although I am not skinny and petite. I have a body type that looks similar to yours - I have a curvy butt and a muscular, solid build... but when I work out and take care of my diet, I appear slim and fit. GUys love my body! A lot of men love curvy body types, that are fit through exercise and healthy diet. A lot of men like skinny girls, too, but your not one, therefore u need to accept that there are just as many men who like more athletic, solid girls like us. I've always been okay with my weight but i felt like i was totally rejected and its from a 3.5 year crush.. that kinda threw me off.. I weight alot more than that..maybe its the muscle you are right, i guess i need to accept that they will be men like and dislike my figure.. thank you for your honest opinion Leigh!
Author kaywii Posted April 24, 2012 Author Posted April 24, 2012 dude, you're body is fine. You'll find a guy who likes you for you especially if you're healthy and exercise and treat your body right. That guy has a preference, not his fault. You have probably not been interested in someone interested in you because they were not your type true, I was shallow at some point but I wasnt looking for a relationship with him.. I just wanted to be friends. But he didnt reply my msg made it seem like he doesnt even want to be friends :[
gotye Posted April 24, 2012 Posted April 24, 2012 true, I was shallow at some point but I wasnt looking for a relationship with him.. I just wanted to be friends. But he didnt reply my msg made it seem like he doesnt even want to be friends :[he probably missed it, forgot about it, or truly didn't recognize you. FB msgs are sooooo easy to miss
123321 Posted April 24, 2012 Posted April 24, 2012 As a guy who prefers slim girls, I have to say that while you look OK, I wouldn't date you either. You look fine. Just not what I like, and apparently not what he likes. The biggest issue for me is that I'm not a use 'em and leave type person, and so anything I go into I have in the back of my mind the possibility it might be long term. It's common for people to put on a little weight as time goes on. If my skinny GF packs on a few pounds, she will be a little slimmer than you. When you put on a few, you will be more than curvy. For a user, that' doesn't matter, they are happy to have you as you are now and don't consider the future because there isn't one. People who are thinking long term are going to be pickier. Again, you look fine, just find someone who likes your look and try to stay fit.
Author kaywii Posted April 24, 2012 Author Posted April 24, 2012 he probably missed it, forgot about it, or truly didn't recognize you. FB msgs are sooooo easy to miss I hope that's the reason.. I still go to the karaoke bar and its awkward when I see him.. i feel embarassed
Author kaywii Posted April 24, 2012 Author Posted April 24, 2012 As a guy who prefers slim girls, I have to say that while you look OK, I wouldn't date you either. You look fine. Just not what I like, and apparently not what he likes. The biggest issue for me is that I'm not a use 'em and leave type person, and so anything I go into I have in the back of my mind the possibility it might be long term. It's common for people to put on a little weight as time goes on. If my skinny GF packs on a few pounds, she will be a little slimmer than you. When you put on a few, you will be more than curvy. For a user, that' doesn't matter, they are happy to have you as you are now and don't consider the future because there isn't one. People who are thinking long term are going to be pickier. Again, you look fine, just find someone who likes your look and try to stay fit. If I put on a few pounds, I will be more than curvy? Do you mean fat? I'm glad someone of the same taste as him gave me an honest opinion. i will look out for that
Author kaywii Posted April 24, 2012 Author Posted April 24, 2012 By any chance does his name start with a J? lol no, his name starts with a K.. why do u ask?
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