Your wife did what?

[wellwhynot]

It's better to be alone and lonely than married to someone who makes you lonely.

 

Some counselling can help you get your life back on track.

 

You loved xMM but the addictive part on how he made you feel, that excitement will never be felt with your husband. That intensity and drama driven emotion is gone now.

 

I suggest focussing on yourself and finding a passion or a hobby that can create similar happiness but in a healthy way and won't hurt anybody.

 

The part I bolded, do you really believe that? That those feelings will never be felt with someone you are married to? If so I think that's the saddest thing I've ever read.

Because in that case:

Marriage- you're doing it wrong.

[BigLiam]

There are no words for this man. Continually cheating and probably gaslighting his wife literally almost to death.

 

But remember this: you now know, so what happens to her is now in your hands, as well. Stay away from this man! Let him and his wife work their stuff out.

 

I agree with this. You are hurting his spouse as well as your own. There is no need to be doing this. It is quite shameful.

Why can't you stop?

[BigLiam]

The part I bolded, do you really believe that? That those feelings will never be felt with someone you are married to? If so I think that's the saddest thing I've ever read.

Because in that case:

Marriage- you're doing it wrong.

 

In my experience, FWIW, the level of passion etc. in a marriage levels off a lot after the first year or two. Yet, other feelings replace it. It is natural and no one is doing things wrong when this happens. It is life, and can be quite fulfilling(at least for me).

I have no first hand knowledge, but it seems affairs are more exciting largely because of their forbidden nature and the effect of only seeing a partner sporadically.

[whichwayisup]

The part I bolded, do you really believe that? That those feelings will never be felt with someone you are married to? If so I think that's the saddest thing I've ever read.

Because in that case:

Marriage- you're doing it wrong.

 

Uhhm, we're talking affairs here and her situation. This has nothing to do with me. I'm talking to her and how she feels about her husband vs her MM.

 

To explain what I meant:

That new crushy like feeling and lust, feelings felt at the beginning of every relationship aka the honeymoon phase grows into long lasting love and continues to grow in a marriage. Over time it evens out and that lust, that I want to f,cuk you 24/7 eventually balances out as life gets in the way. In affairs, those who are OW and WS squish that time in, and make the most of all the time spent together. What she felt for MM vs her husband is night and day. Do you see the difference here?

 

Plus, she mentioned her marriage wasn't great, that she (they) felt "stuck".

 

Please focus on the OP and her words, not mine. Thank you.

[wellwhynot]

Uhhm, we're talking affairs here and her situation. This has nothing to do with me. I'm talking to her and how she feels about her husband vs her MM.

 

To explain what I meant:

That new crushy like feeling and lust, feelings felt at the beginning of every relationship aka the honeymoon phase grows into long lasting love and continues to grow in a marriage. Over time it evens out and that lust, that I want to f,cuk you 24/7 eventually balances out as life gets in the way. In affairs, those who are OW and WS squish that time in, and make the most of all the time spent together. What she felt for MM vs her husband is night and day. Do you see the difference here?

 

Plus, she mentioned her marriage wasn't great, that she (they) felt "stuck".

 

Please focus on the OP and her words, not mine. Thank you.

 

Ah, sorry I did miss that. I do understand that more in context now, however I was stunned to read that statement and was hoping that wasn't the belief of anyone on here, that marriage means feeling less than everything with someone, because really that's how it should be.

[whichwayisup]

In my experience, FWIW, the level of passion etc. in a marriage levels off a lot after the first year or two. Yet, other feelings replace it. It is natural and no one is doing things wrong when this happens. It is life, and can be quite fulfilling(at least for me).

I have no first hand knowledge, but it seems affairs are more exciting largely because of their forbidden nature and the effect of only seeing a partner sporadically.

 

You worded it better than me. Thanks! That's more or less what I was trying to say but with a bad headache tonight thoughts transferred to words and typing aren't great right now!

[BigLiam]

Wow. And here I thought I would receive support on this site to help me through a difficult time. You guys are really all just bitter *******s. I'm glad you find peace in your own life by following blogs and demeaning others and their troubles.

 

Been fun....

I think bitterness is vastly overrated as a negative. I think it is very normal to be bitter one's spouse cheats.

Anyway, best to dissolve your affair, IMO.

[wellwhynot]

In my experience, FWIW, the level of passion etc. in a marriage levels off a lot after the first year or two. Yet, other feelings replace it. It is natural and no one is doing things wrong when this happens. It is life, and can be quite fulfilling(at least for me).

I have no first hand knowledge, but it seems affairs are more exciting largely because of their forbidden nature and the effect of only seeing a partner sporadically.

 

Passion levels off because people become complacent and neglectful of it, passion need to be stirred to stay hot, like soup.

(no, that's not blaming the spouse, it's blaming the couple)

The happiest marriages I know have it all, the passion, the "other feelings" don't replace it, they join it.

And if you have no first hand knowledge, perhaps you shouldn't jump to conclusions. Affairs may be more exciting for some because of their forbidden nature, but I bet if you took a poll of people actively engaged in affairs that woudn't even make the top 5.

[bentnotbroken]

Wow. And here I thought I would receive support on this site to help me through a difficult time. You guys are really all just bitter *******s. I'm glad you find peace in your own life by following blogs and demeaning others and their troubles.

 

Been fun....

 

 

Seems the OP is out of here....so much for the TJ.

[BigLiam]

You worded it better than me. Thanks! That's more or less what I was trying to say but with a bad headache tonight thoughts transferred to words and typing aren't great right now!

 

No, you expressed this quite well, IMO.

I think the sentiment expressed my the other poster(sorry can't recall her or his name), re the expectation that one is doing something wrong if this level of lust is not maintained,is one that many folks who wind up cheating believe.

Their expectaions of marriage are so unrealistic(infantile, actually((but that is a bit pejorative:rolleyes:)) ) that they are dissatisfied with reality. Then, it's off to the races to find a similarly unevolved soul for a love fest:bunny:.

I take Imitrix(sp? ((sp for sad pup, so as to avoid castigation)) for migraines. Hope your HA resolves soon.

[nofool4u]

Wow. And here I thought I would receive support on this site to help me through a difficult time.

 

To deserve support for a difficult time you first have to demonstrate you are willing to cease putting others through a difficult time.

 

Just like I said, set your husband free, then you will be able to move ahead with anything you then want to do.

 

 

You guys are really all just bitter *******s.

 

So let me get this straight, some of us recognize the despicable actions and hurt you are bestowing on other people, and we are the jerks? I don't think so. And you can dispense with the bitter comments, they are lame.

 

And I'd be careful with your name calling. I won't report you, but doesn't mean someone else won't.

 

And if anyone here is bitter, its because they have to deal with people like you in real life.

 

 

I'm glad you find peace in your own life by following blogs and demeaning others and their troubles.

 

So you are going to get all offended when people tell it like it is with regards to your situation, but don't see the hypocrisy in doing so since you are doling out betrayal of 2 other people in your life?