Am I still in love or not? I am so comfused I just don't know what to do!

[KiKi8159]

I had a boyfriend and we were soo in love! I was with him 24/7 he was my best friend. I shared everything with him! He was my life for a year and a half. My first kiss dance love. I have experienced everything with him. But then all of the newness just stopped. We started fighting a lot, and I mean a lot! Some about stubid stuff. Some things about big stuff. We are just total opposites. His grades upseted me to. He was and is lazy. He didn't care at all about school. If he loved something I would hate it. The same goes for me. There were a lot of things I couldn't stand about him, but there are also a lot of things that I loved about him. I was also starting to miss being a normal teenager. You know dating a lot of guys, and not being serious. I always wondered what is would be like to be iwht this guy...... My family were started to tell me that we were getting to serious, and we should break up. I should leave life like a normal teenager. So I finally decided it was time. i just wasnt happy. So i broke up with hinm. It was horrible. He took it very hard. And we hardly ever talk anymore. He took it very immaturely. I think I hurt him a lot. Well my mom said I would feel beter later. Well it has some but it has been 4 or 5 months now. I still think of him everyday. I wonder what he is doing. How he is? When a song goes on I think of him. I have a lot of flashbacks of back then. I miss him. I have a boyfriend now. He was one of the guys I was looking at when I was with him. I have kissed my boyfriend and it just wasnt near the sparks as when I was with him. I don't know if it is just that I miss having a serious relationship. Or that I miss him. I don't know what to do. I am happy right now. Becaseu I am actually leaving a teenage life. I am flirting with a lot of guyus. But I am also not happy because i alwasy think of him. I am scared I will never be able to have that feeling again. Or that I will never be able to be with him again. I don't know if I am in love with or not? I am just sooo comfused right now. If you can help please do. Thank you so much for taking your time to read this!

[dreamguy]

"I have a boyfriend now. He was one of the guys I was looking at when I was with him. I have kissed my boyfriend and it just wasnt near the sparks as when I was with him. I don't know if it is just that I miss having a serious relationship. Or that I miss him."

KiKi8159, You were the one who dumped your ex and you said you had been looking at your current boyfriend when you were still with you ex.

I don't think your problem is wanting to be in a serious relationship. If this is what you really wanted, wouldn't you be able to have it with your current bf or with any guy for that matter ??

4 or 5 months have passed, still you say that your current bf's kiss was not near the sparks you felt when you kissed your ex ? I don't mean to confuse you any more than you already are but if this isn't Love I don't know what is !

Did you try getting in touch with your ex since you're the one who left him ? If you ever decide to do that, make sure you take it easy at first because I bet you hurt him like hell !! A broken heart needs to learn to trust again and sometimes it takes a lot of time !!

Keep us posted.

[KiKi8159]

Thank you so much dream guy. But what about all the fighting and stuff all the time? I mean people in love do they fight all the time like that? And could I still be in love when I am with him and wonder what it is like to be with someone else. Should I wait intill I settle down some to be with him? He is already pretty settled but I am not. I mean I am only 15. But I do think about him all the time. I am to embarrassed to admit that to my friends becasue they all think I hate him now. Please help. It is like I don't want to be in love right now. I know that might be weird but it is true, but I am I think. i don't know. Please help.

 

Thank you soooo much!

[dreamguy]

"But what about all the fighting and stuff all the time? I mean people in love do they fight all the time like that? "

There's a saying which goes like that: "It's not the incompatibilities that destroy a relationship but it's how you deal with them". Trust me, there is no relationship that doesn't include fights and disagreements ! If you can work it out with your partner then the relationship becomes stronger with time. If you can't, then it weakens until one day the foundations come crumbling down on both of you.

 

"And could I still be in love when I am with him and wonder what it is like to be with someone else."

Of course, your doubts are perfectly normal because you're still very young ! You're 15 years old.

But is it my imagination or did you write this in your previous post: "Well it has some but it has been 4 or 5 months now. I still think of him everyday. I wonder what he is doing. How he is? When a song goes on I think of him. I have a lot of flashbacks of back then. I miss him.". I guess this answers your question.

 

"I am to embarrassed to admit that to my friends becasue they all think I hate him now. Please help. It is like I don't want to be in love right now."

Can't help you with that. The decision is solely yours ! It's your life. Whatever you decide, make sure you stick to it because there's nothing worse than a confused heart.