Looking4answers7 Posted April 23, 2012 Posted April 23, 2012 My boyfriend of almost 2 years broke up with me telling me he only loves me as a friend (mind you this was right before he was finally ready to move in with me) and then he changed his tune and said he loves me he just needs time to get his stuff together, work, family issues etc. He texts me sweet things but then gets really rude when we chat online. He had a family wedding and other obligations and univited me and then said he had a great time. He stops by for 10 minutes or so and is awkward. Then he is nasty and then comes by later wanting to snuggle> he texts me baby, honey and all that. So I asked him what gives do you love me? He said I care about you, think about you all the time and worry about you and want what's best for you. As you can see that's not what I asked. I said do you want to get back together and he said I'm not sure I haven't had time to think or feel (It's been 2 weeks) and he just knows he feels strongly. I asked if I should give up hope and he said I think you should just live life and enjoy for yourself. Then I said that sounds like you want me to give up and move on and he said. That's not what I'm saying I just want you to do what feels good and right for you. Then he continues to text me good morning and good night and baby. I don't get it. Please help!
CaliBabe Posted April 23, 2012 Posted April 23, 2012 It sounds like he does not want to be with you but is trying to put in as little effort as possible to keep you around for a back up in case he gets lonely. Don't be his doormat, kick him to the curb! 1
geegirl Posted April 23, 2012 Posted April 23, 2012 My boyfriend of almost 2 years broke up with me telling me he only loves me as a friend (mind you this was right before he was finally ready to move in with me) and then he changed his tune and said he loves me he just needs time to get his stuff together, work, family issues etc. He texts me sweet things but then gets really rude when we chat online. He had a family wedding and other obligations and univited me and then said he had a great time. He stops by for 10 minutes or so and is awkward. Then he is nasty and then comes by later wanting to snuggle> he texts me baby, honey and all that. So I asked him what gives do you love me? He said I care about you, think about you all the time and worry about you and want what's best for you. As you can see that's not what I asked. I said do you want to get back together and he said I'm not sure I haven't had time to think or feel (It's been 2 weeks) and he just knows he feels strongly. I asked if I should give up hope and he said I think you should just live life and enjoy for yourself. Then I said that sounds like you want me to give up and move on and he said. That's not what I'm saying I just want you to do what feels good and right for you. Then he continues to text me good morning and good night and baby. I don't get it. Please help! Good grief. Doesn't it make you cringe when a man tells you he hasn't had the time to think about whether he wants to be with you or not. Yuck. He's keeping you on the back burner. Nothing to tickle his fancy at the moment so he keeps you there as an ego stroke. Pet names mean nothing. It's just words. Little carrots that keep you hanging around. Evades your questions of commitment. He wants you around but just enough to get what he needs and nothing more. Gives you just enough to keep you coming around. Everything he tells you is non-committal. Reason being, if at anytime he decides to drop you like a hot potato, he can't be held accountable because he never promised you anything but it was your choice to sit around and wait for someone to choose you. 2
Author Looking4answers7 Posted April 26, 2012 Author Posted April 26, 2012 Thank you so much for your feedback. Today I spoke to him and I basically laid it all out on the line and he said I've reached my breaking point and I'm hurting to but its whats right at the moment. He also said if its meant to be it will happen but there is no chance of that without doing what I need to do first and I think its good for you as well and hopefully you'll do some important stuff that you need to do and deal with first instead of just finding someone or something to jump into. He then said "What if I'm more right for you that you are for me...Did you ever think of that?" he followed that up with "Not that I think thats the case just throwing it out based on our discussion. He said time seems to make things right so we will see what happens. He said I can't make any promises whats right will be and he can only promise to always be there for me because he knows that is true as long as I allow it. He said your dreams will come true if you don't fixate on them. Then the hook line and sinker he said "the love we had was romantic. I know how you feel and trust me its not worth feeling so ****ty over I've had those feeling plenty of times at some point you will be like what why did I do that. Don't be so bummed or hinged on a relationship. We will have fun together but do stuff for yourself, make some friends and stuff you deserve a whole life thats fullfilling and filled with joy and not just a person with someone they love or think they love in a house life is way more that that. Yet he still wants to hang out an go on trips. Your thoughts now??
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