Teshe Posted April 23, 2012 Posted April 23, 2012 I know this guy who is 20 years older than me. I really like him, and he returns the feelings, but my Co-worker says I'm crazy. We haven't had a chance to hang out because of our work schedules.I only get to see him when he comes into my job..what should I do? Am I really crazy for liking him?
EasyHeart Posted April 23, 2012 Posted April 23, 2012 Do whatever you're comfortable with. When I was 40, I started dating a woman who was 19. We dated for three years and she's still one of my very favorite people. Neither of us have any regrets.
Author Teshe Posted April 23, 2012 Author Posted April 23, 2012 Do whatever you're comfortable with. When I was 40, I started dating a woman who was 19. We dated for three years and she's still one of my very favorite people. Neither of us have any regrets. Sometimes I'm comfortable about the idea other times I'm . I barely know him and yet I feel like I've known him for forever.
EasyHeart Posted April 23, 2012 Posted April 23, 2012 Well, get to know him and see what happens. You're just going on a date; you don't have to marry him!!!
Feelin Frisky Posted April 23, 2012 Posted April 23, 2012 Go for it if t seems right. You're entitled. Odds are he considers himself a fortunate chap to have a young but legal female interested in him.
cerridwen Posted April 23, 2012 Posted April 23, 2012 Older men are hot. Go on a date. See if there's chemistry. There's nothing legal binding so just have fun.
Author Teshe Posted April 23, 2012 Author Posted April 23, 2012 I see I forgot to add some vital information.I still live with my parents (I'm working on moving it may be awhile though) and I'm not allowed to date plus a bunch of other ridiculous things..how can I get to know him? What questions should I ask?
Professor X Posted April 23, 2012 Posted April 23, 2012 Daddy issues much. Easy to manipulate. Fetish? And as for no1 interested in you around your age, as long as you got a pair of boobs, men will hit on you (unless you're obese), but you probably either ignore them or consider them creeps. Pick your choice.
wwwjd Posted April 23, 2012 Posted April 23, 2012 can depend on your physical facial structure, body and general presentation. I was talking to a gal at a sub shop once, sure she was 23+ or so... she was 17. 17!! She looked way older, and had an experienced personality. so, post a link to your photo and measurements and let me decide. yes, I'm totally kidding on that last part
mtber75 Posted April 23, 2012 Posted April 23, 2012 Your pretty young so yeah older (10+) men will hit on you. Its a ego trip for them. Maybe you dress and act conservative (I mean you act mature beyond your age)? I was flirting with this young woman and though she was 25 ish (pretty young for me). But I went on her FB page and found out that she was only 19. I ran but it was fun flirting with her:)
wow04 Posted April 23, 2012 Posted April 23, 2012 I see I forgot to add some vital information.I still live with my parents (I'm working on moving it may be awhile though) and I'm not allowed to date plus a bunch of other ridiculous things..how can I get to know him? What questions should I ask? You are 20 years old? Why aren't you allowed to date?
truth_seeker Posted April 23, 2012 Posted April 23, 2012 What do you look like? How do you dress? You might look older for your age and come off like you're much older than you are.
cerridwen Posted April 23, 2012 Posted April 23, 2012 (edited) I see I forgot to add some vital information.I still live with my parents (I'm working on moving it may be awhile though) and I'm not allowed to date plus a bunch of other ridiculous things..how can I get to know him? What questions should I ask? I don't know, Teshe, now you have me all confused. How much have you spoken with this guy? Have you two ever had extended conversations or are they just flirty exchanges? I suggest crawling before you walk and that translates into friendly banter and light conversation with a few laughs. Be receptive and upbeat when you see him. Ask him how his day is going. Compliment the color of his shirt. Ask him about his weekend. Smile! Edited April 23, 2012 by cerridwen
Author Teshe Posted April 23, 2012 Author Posted April 23, 2012 I dress modestly but still fashionable..no sack clothes lol.... I'm constantly told I both look and act older than my age.and when others find out how old I am they're surprised
wwwjd Posted April 23, 2012 Posted April 23, 2012 have you ever gotten to know anyone in that older age group? you never know. it's not always about trophys or conquering. when communication works great, I enjoy dating 10 and more years younger. and older. age is just a numbering system.
verhrzn Posted April 23, 2012 Posted April 23, 2012 Because young men are immature and just want to fool around, and older men love younger women. It's this whole innocence/power dynamic thing. Don't worry, though, you're not alone. This board is filled with women who are ignored by men who are seemingly in their same demographic (same age, same income, etc.) Me myself, I can't even get an older, overweight, underemployed pot addict to want me, so... I feel your pain. 1
jphcbpa Posted April 23, 2012 Posted April 23, 2012 got pics? just kidding when I was younger I preferred older women. I had more in common with them and the conversation was about things other than gossip and high school type crap.
wwwjd Posted April 23, 2012 Posted April 23, 2012 It's this whole innocence/power dynamic thing. [bZZZZZZZZZZZZT!] WRONG. It can easily be two people that enjoy each other's company, get along, have things in common, and/or share dreams, ideals, hobbies etc. Not always innocence/power dynamic anything. 1
verhrzn Posted April 23, 2012 Posted April 23, 2012 [bZZZZZZZZZZZZT!] WRONG. It can easily be two people that enjoy each other's company, get along, have things in common, and/or share dreams, ideals, hobbies etc. Not always innocence/power dynamic anything. I'd buy that if the two people had met in real life and actually had a conversation before there is an expression of interest in dating. However, it sounds like from the OP she's continuously getting hit on by older men... which means these guys have no idea they would "enjoy her company" beyond the physical. These older men could easily enjoy the company, get along, and are MORE likely to have things in common with women their own age. So, if there's a pattern of the older guy going for a younger woman, ya have to ask yourself why. Which is where the "power dynamic" argument comes in. 1
gotye Posted April 23, 2012 Posted April 23, 2012 i only get hit on my chubby hipsters it sucks, we never get what we are looking for, usually we just gotta approach what we want ourselves
danny in van Posted April 23, 2012 Posted April 23, 2012 because most 30 yr olds have ALOT more confidence to approach girls of any age. Keep in mind that if older men like u then younger ones do too- But you will have to give them (20s) unmistakable green lights to approach you cuz they really fear rejection... 2
wwwjd Posted April 23, 2012 Posted April 23, 2012 I'd buy that if the two people had met in real life and actually had a conversation before there is an expression of interest in dating. However, it sounds like from the OP she's continuously getting hit on by older men... which means these guys have no idea they would "enjoy her company" beyond the physical. These older men could easily enjoy the company, get along, and are MORE likely to have things in common with women their own age. So, if there's a pattern of the older guy going for a younger woman, ya have to ask yourself why. Which is where the "power dynamic" argument comes in. sure, there are a lot of variables to this... but I needed to post up on the side for all the good guys out there. It is not always the bad side of the coin.
danny in van Posted April 23, 2012 Posted April 23, 2012 sure, there are a lot of variables to this... but I needed to post up on the side for all the good guys out there. It is not always the bad side of the coin. when you're 30 you have much more confidence to go for what you want...you're more assertive than the 20 yr old you- wouldn't you all agree? This applies to many things, not just going for girls... The 'power' theory is a maybe, but increased assertiveness is no maybe- it's almost a biological fact I'd say...
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